I know it seems a bit much to cut her off completely but Jesus, I can't hack her!
Long post, please bear with me!!!
So I have been with my DH, her pride and joy, for 5 years. I had two kids before I met him but he treats them just like they're his own. We've gone on to get married and have two more kids. I used to get on really well with MIL and used to look forward to seeing her. She lives about 6 hours away. She always made herself useful when she was here, taking the kids so we could have a break, cooking meals etc. First few visits went great, then the sly digs became more and more. At first I shrugged them off until it was starting to make me feel like she didn't think I was good enough for her amazing son!
DH has a great job and I am a SAHM. The decision for me to stay at home was mutually decided by two of us as childcare costs are huge for four kids and then the added stress of housework and chores to do after work....and besides, I love being home with them and it's what works best for our family. MIL has several times, "reminded" me that DH is the one who works and I shouldn't be spending his money. The first time she said this I was shopping in Aldi and saw a cushion I knew he would like for €4, four fucking Euro. When she said it I was dumbfounded. I actually had no response. Then it was like she became obsessed with showing me how to save her sons money. The woman used to save all the scraps from the kids plates after dinner and put them into sandwich bags and freeze them. Don't get me wrong, I hate to see food wasted but this is surely taking the piss.
After I had 4th baby she came down to help! Or so I thought....DH was quickly informed by myself that I was working around the baby's schedule. If there happened to be a dinner ready when he got home, great! If not, he better make it. MIL was horrified by this. Could not understand why I wouldn't have a dinner ready. Bear in mind I had a new born, three other kids, school runs and I was also sleeping on the couch for two weeks as she was in the bed I was planning on taking. I wanted to give DH bed to himself as he is the breadwinner and we needed to keep the job. She couldn't see the problem with me sleeping(and basically recovering) on the couch.
She also always said snide remarks to DH about weather or not he was worried I would get back with ex, father of oldest two. She told him that it does happen and he should just be careful. All the while I don't have energy to shave my legs she has DH believing I'm I could go back with ex! She caused huge fights in marriage and eventually I had to cut contact. As I said she lives few hours away but face times regularly with DH to see kids. She has face timed me before, while my DH was there and hung up before I could answer and went on to tell DH that she tried to reach out but I'm ignoring her. She has also sent parcels with birthday presents for the youngest two(her natural grandchildren) but ignore my DS. This not only hurt me but also my husband who has been rearing him for five years!!
Sorry for such the long post but pleeeeease I need to know AIBU to completely cut her off?? Should I make the effort for my husbands sake to rekindle some kids of relationship? Really don't know what to do!!!