Every month about a week or so before I'm due to come on my period I turn in to a monster. I'm filled with an all consuming rage and I (can't stress this enough) hate everyone and everything including myself.
I find myself completely flying off the handle at my husband about things that at any other time I could just talk to him about. I create arguments out of nothing and give him all kinds of verbal abuse. I keep my distance from my 2 DC as much as possible to avoid lashing out (verbally) at them. There have been some months where I've told him to leave and that our marriage is over but then a few days later I'm absolutely fine.
I cry at the drop of a hat (normally not a crier) and and snap and people over things I would normally let go (rude staff in shops or someone cutting me up in the car stuff like that). I walked out of my sisters birthday lunch because something upset me and I've physically lashed out at my other sister. (We've discussed this and I apologised and we are just as close as we ever were. I find myself wanting to completely shut out the world and becoming a recluse.
Some months are worse than others and I know when it's happening that I shouldn't be behaving that way and when everything has calmed down I'm mortified and have to do some serious grovelling. But I can't seem to stop myself. I can't pin point exactly when it started but it's been going on for over a year. My husband made a joke about me being bipolar once and it made me think maybe this is more than PMS or do I just take up meditating?
I don't know if it's relevant but my dad died suddenly and unexpectedly in jan of last year aged 59 and I took it really hard.