To ask him to let me know a time?

[Inde95]

So DD's dad and I split a year ago. Due to MH issues, he sees her three days a week at my house.

All good aside from the fact he will never tell me what time he will come see her. I asked him today what time he will be coming and he said he doesn't know. He then follows up with "I have plans so whenever they're done" so I have not been able to do anything all day in case he arrives.

When he eventually does arrive, I tell him we need to discuss timings as it's not fair to expect me to wait for his arrival all day. He shrugs and tells me that he'll come see DD when he likes and I'm not controlling him. I tell him I'm not trying to control him but to let me know roughly when he might come will allow me to plan my day if I want to do something. Any time of the day is fine but a heads up would be nice. He still maintains that he doesn't have to.

So AIBU to request a time of when he might come?

If he says he's arriving at 11 and it gets to 12 and he hasn't showed up, then I'd go out.
That's an hour late at that point.
If you were expecting a friend to visit or a delivery you'd be wondering where they were an hour later, why should you wait around for him?
I agree with some of the others, that he may be doing it to try and control you and be awkward!

Hmm think I'd change that message
Hi, contact day is Saturday, what time are you picking her up? She's ready from 9am but I'm going out at 10am til 3pm. So before or after then is great.
Mix it up with
Hi, contact day is Saturday, what time are you picking her up, we're in and out all day so you'll need to give me a specific time.

If he doesn't come within half hour I'd go out again, wouldn't be beholden

Tel him you got stuff to do and if he cant tell you a time the he risks you not being in as him not telling you is a way of HIM controlling YOU!

I agree with everyone else, he’s trying to control you.

Does he tell the doctor’s receptionist that he’ll arrive for his appointment once his plans are done? No, of course he wouldn’t. And yet, he feels he can do that to you.

Ask for a time and if he refuses to give one, tell him that you also have plans so he’ll either need to call you before he sets off to make sure it’s convenient or risk sitting on the doorstep until you get home. Or just go out and when he calls to ask you where you are, tell him that you’re no longer prepared to waste your whole day waiting around for him. If you wanted to do that, you’d book an unreliable plumber!