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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sister being irritating.

9 replies

Stinkycatbreath · 14/07/2019 19:36

My younger sister has moved around a lot for her job. She has no children and lives with her less than satisfactory partner. She is now in the Isle of Man so we dont see her much. My little boy is two nearly three and she adores him. No issues at all there. She is a very intense type of person but it is all very well meant. She is one of the kindest people I know. The only issue I have is that I get a new friend on Facebook days later they are a mutual friend, I put a comment on some bodies photo soon after its followed by one from her. My cousin is in Oz and had children around the same age as my son so despite the distance we are close and I always ask her how the children are doing and plan to visit next March. Again she comments on that too. I added a status about something funny my son did today and it was about him pretending he was one of my other family members.-instantaneous comment about the hilarious conversation she had earlier with him. He only said Hi. Then three messages on personal messenger saying how funny and lovely he is. I just feel like she is marking her territory both of me and my son. It's not as bad as it sounds at all but it just irks me a little. I just wo dered what others thought. So my AIBU is AIBU to be irked? Or it this just a case of my sister feeling left out when she has no reason to at all. I'm just into soppy "we miss you" messages.

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Oilyskinproblems · 14/07/2019 19:44

Yabu.

Sounds like your sister adores you and your son. Some people are a bit over the top on social media and comment about everything. It might be annoying for you but there’s not much you can do about it as she’s entitled to do so. If it’s a minor annoyance I’d work on changing your mind set as it’s not worth risking the relationship between you and your lovely sister. If it’s more than a minor annoyance I’d be wondering if there’s more to you feeling like this such as any feelings of jealousy/resentment towards her.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 14/07/2019 19:49

Her social media style is different to yours, is all. I have a few friends who have a friend who comment on just about everything Grin

You could customise your privacy settings occasionally so not everything you do is visible to her.

PurpleDaisies · 14/07/2019 19:50

Why is it relevant that she doesn’t have children?

Stinkycatbreath · 14/07/2019 20:10

Purple Daises- just that she doesn't have or want any children so pours all her love onto mine which is lovely. She is an excellent Auntie and sister.

Display - That is a good idea .Just feels odd having somebody following every aspect of my Facebook. In all honesty I think she just misses us and we do her. I just wanted to check if it was just me being silly and of course I wouldn't say anything it would hurt her.
Oily- I don't feel resentment or jealousy at all, over the years she has driven me crackers with her intensity with everything. She is just a very passionate person. I think we are just soooo different and you are right I probably am reading far too much into this. She is lovely and I sont want to hurt or offend her. Her Facebook style is just different to mine. She has no reason at all to feel insecure or second best to anyone although we are different and at times wind eachother up , she is the kindest person. I'm emotionally more reserved. Time to explore my own feelings I think. Genuine thanks to you all for your insight 😁

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Stinkycatbreath · 14/07/2019 20:11

^^ That was meant to be a smile...

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Mycatwontstopstaring · 14/07/2019 20:12

Her Facebook style is just different to yours. YABU. The people who really bug me are the ones who constantly post photos of their food...

MamaMumMama · 14/07/2019 21:08

Let her be, it may grate on you but it's all done with love and with that distance between you I guess it's her way of being involved and keeping up with you. I would t say there's any malice there. I think mentioning would hurt her feelings Thanks

lavenderbluedilly · 14/07/2019 21:11

You can keep your friend list private on FB, so if you add new friends, she simply won’t know. Or change her setting to acquaintance rather than friend, and this will limit what she sees

Stinkycatbreath · 14/07/2019 21:22

Mycats... food posters drive me round the bend.
Mama..It does grate a little but most certainly not enough to hurt her feelings over. She is a sensitive soul. I wouldn't mind but I am not a facetime fan however I always send her messages from us and little WhatsApp videos of my son with personal messages for her so she doesn't feel left out. I dont do this with anyone else! I think she feels so far away and this is her way if being interested. Her partner isn't great so I dont think that makes things any better for her. I do love her.

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