Managing money

[Flowering21]

Hi new to this, was wondering on any advice, husbands salary has been cut drastically, I work part time, we have no mortgage 2 cars we need for work, can I ask how you manage month to month with money , we are putting away for savings and pensions but are left with not a lot after all bills paid, not really able to afford going for coffee, new clothes, night out any tips please, I do not want my friends to think I am being a skinflint how do you tackle if friends ask you to go out and you cannot afford the things they do

Do you have children?
Did he choose to move jobs?
Can you increase your hours?

Go through your bills and decide if there are any that aren't compulsory (subscriptions etc).
Review your food shop - how much do you spend? Could you switch to non-branded items?

Hmmm how about trying to host a few more potluck or bring a bottle parties at yours? It’s hard to manage without either telling them the loss of income or making up a story about cutting back to save for something big.

You've got no mortgage and have enough that you can put away savings. You're not exactly skint are you.

Maybe cut back on the savings for a while so that you can afford the odd coffee out and to buy new clothes when you need them.

One child who stays at home but works, just very anxious about not putting savings away , it’s not much we put away, just don’t want my friends to fall out with me because I’m always saying no

Skim down on all the non-essential bills. We saved ourselves a lot each month by cancelling tv subscriptions/going down to one car (a nuisance for us, but doable) and getting sim only phone packages. Invite friends over for a coffee rather than paying out in a cafe, have a bottle of wine at home with friends rather than going to a bar, it's your company they value not the destination. Oh and be honest "no i can't attend x because we are having to tighten up our finances" I've never felt any shame in being honest about that.

Think I am just worrying that we are not going to manage, financially, always worried about tomorrow, future how things are going to be

Do they know why? All of us can have a change of circumstances and get it when friends cannot do the things they have been doing.

We have friends who hit difficult times. We had been used to going out for meals with them, even though we weren't particularly close friends. They told us what had happened. We suggested a meal at our house. They declined because they couldn't reciprocate. We suggested coffee at ours and they still said no. We invited them to go for a walk close to where they livr, they said no. This was over a period of time rather than us creepily chasing them.
They didn't invite us to anything.

This went on for a couple of years and we didn't see them. Eventually he got another job and we are now back to socialising. We didn't expect them to reciprocate so it was a shame we missed out on friendship during that time, but up to them.

Don't be proud about it, just say it is a problem and stick to free or cheap things and let them reciprocate. Cutting yourself off isn't kind to you or your friends.

Surely obvious answer is to increase your income so go closer to full time as your partners salary has been reduced (you don't say how or why)

Make a monthly budget. Allow a certain amount of 'pocket money' for you and your partner.

When friends ask you out, decide whether you want to use your pocket money for that. If not, you need to be proactive in making other, cheaper suggestions, to meet up with them. Be willing to say, "That sounds great but I'm afraid I can't afford it right now. I'd love to see you, though. Why don't you come over to mine for a girls' night in?"

I don't buy coffee out, buy new clothes when the ones I have need replacing and a night out is about every two or three months. And I work full time. Figure out your budget, including savings and make an allowance for non essential spending. It's a lifestyle adjustment but it's not poverty.

I tell my friends bluntly if I can’t afford things - I used to earn a lot more

If they are good friends, they won’t bat an eyelid.