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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To politely tell MLM desperado to do one

38 replies

PookieDo · 14/07/2019 15:18

I recently had a message from an old friend and didn’t respond straight away.

Hi Pookie, How are you? been meaning to get in touch recently to get together and see your new place. I have just started a new business and as part of the process, I need to find 30 driven, capable women to show it to and I thought of you! Is there any chance you can jump online on X at 8pm? I would love to get your thoughts! Really looking forward to hearing back from you!

It’s a very old male friend (100% platonic, decade friendship) who I have helped him with relationship crisis’ multiple times, mental health issues and he has done DIY and car repairs to help me, some paid, some as a favour.

But he didn’t help me move house or offer any help whatsoever, even though he is a qualified electrician, skilled handyman etc - has a lot of tools and a van, does up houses and knows I am a single woman and I had actually asked a few times on Facebook for recommended local tradesmen and he didn’t contact me ONCE - even though I would have paid him. So I am a little bit fuck you to begin with.

I replied what is your business?

Turns out it is MLM (starts with an A) and despite me saying I am very busy with my own full time job, no thanks, he keeps asking me to jump online and watch a seminar Angry because I am missing out!

He has fragile mental health and I do not want to be mean to him, he’s had a lot of rejection. But partly because he can never see how these things come across to other people, he wants money from me! I would have happily paid him to do things in my house, but he wants me to buy into this total crap

I have seen some MLM threads before, is there any point with total honesty that it’s a scam you will never make any money from or just ignore until they finally realise it themselves?

OP posts:
ellendegeneres · 14/07/2019 15:22

So if you knew he does all that why didn’t you reach out to him instead of asking for recommendations? Presumably he does a good job, so I don’t get it?

Mlm bot stuff though, yanbu. I’ve lost friendships to it, I say no enough times and they decide I’m not being supportive or a ‘hater’ so I’m out of their lives 😂 saves me hitting the delete button, it’s like watching the rubbish take itself out

nauseous5000 · 14/07/2019 15:22

Just tell him you're opposed to MLM businesses because you feel they exploit vulnerable people

StripeySocks29 · 14/07/2019 15:22

In all honesty in my experience it’s better to just disengage, you won’t make him see sense, they use the same tactics as cults.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 14/07/2019 15:24

Just say it a not something you’re interested in.

Original poster
PookieDo · 14/07/2019 15:30

I didn’t ask him as I assumed he may be quite low with his MH and not up to anything like that. But he popped up on my social media taking 700 gym selfies so I think this is just a case of him going through his contact list and hoping he gets replies. I don’t really feel like he sees me as a friend anymore

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 14/07/2019 15:39

It sucks when friends and family get involved with MLM stuff. Best to firmly disengage.

Often they are trained to persist and have scripted answers for every rejection, so you need to be quite strong. If you like you can also send him blogs/articles on how damaging MLM can be and explain this is why you aren’t interested, but he may not be open to dissenting views.

SagAloojah · 14/07/2019 15:48

It’s sad that a qualified electrician and skilled handyman and mechanic has got caught up in this but it’s his problem. If you want to be kind, and if there’s an article from a reputable source explaining clearly why ‘A’ is an MLM and a scam, I would send that to him and make it clear you are not interested.

However, I’m not sure if the relationship counselling is a fair exchange for his services? He’s probably tired of people expecting favours all the time (I know you said you’d pay).

Original poster
PookieDo · 14/07/2019 15:48

I’m not surprised he’s been sucked in. He’s vulnerable to this IMO

OP posts:
Original poster
PookieDo · 14/07/2019 15:50

He used to take up hours of my time (for free) and sometimes do me free favours but most of the time I would pay him, partly to help him and partly as I knew him and felt comfortable if he was in my house when I was at work. I trust him iyswim

I have no idea why he is wasting his skills by doing MLM!!!

OP posts:
SagAloojah · 14/07/2019 15:55

If he was taking hours of your time then fair enough, he should have wanted to reciprocate and help you as well.

Message him once more saying that you’re not interested and ask him not to raise it again. Ignore all future messages about it. Only respond to unrelated ones(if you still want to keep in contact).

RaspberryRippleCrisps · 14/07/2019 18:15

Turns out it is MLM (starts with an A). Oh god,it's not Amway is it? I'd run a mile if it is!

DonkeyHohtay · 14/07/2019 18:19

Doesn't matter if it's Amway, Arbonne, Actilabs... they're all the same.

Don't say "I'm not interested" because the MLM bots are taught that a response like that means "not now, maybe in the future".

You need to be more specific and say that you have a rule of never buying from network marketing companies.

Soubriquet · 14/07/2019 18:27

I agree with the “sorry I don’t agree with MLM” and leave it at that

Don’t say it’s a pyramid though because they automatically reply with “of course it’s not! That’s illegal and we are definitely legal” Hmm

NauseousMum · 14/07/2019 19:15

If he's a tradesman i doubt it's his business, they are very rarely low on work if they are good. He's probably touting for a partner, friend or family. Or he's been sucked into the cult so run run run.

Whatever reason, he's used you enough and taken enough.

"No thanks, I'm good."

Original poster
PookieDo · 14/07/2019 19:16

Hes just sent me a link to a video meeting Angry

OP posts:
Tingface · 14/07/2019 19:18

Just ignore it all.

Malvinaa81 · 14/07/2019 19:22

I'd say you've lost him as a friend.

A bit sad but the MLM will dominate his life- till he finds out....

And then don't let him offload to you.

Good luck with the new home, and all the tasks you need done.

NauseousMum · 14/07/2019 19:24

Ignore or block.

MatildaTheCat · 14/07/2019 19:24

‘Hi Bill,

Just wanted to let you know that I won’t be able to get involved but all the best.

Pookie’

Then ignore all future messages.

sneakypinky · 14/07/2019 19:25

Ignore

gotmychocolateimgood · 14/07/2019 19:29

I wouldn't get into a dialogue about it, just keep repeating no thank you, it's not for me. Again and again. Hopefully he will realise sooner rather than later that he doesn't own his own mlm business, he is an unpaid rep for the company and is slaving away to make money for the handful of people at the top of the pyramid. Most people lose money in these schemes as they buy the products themselves in large amounts to reach targets and be promoted. Whilst claiming they own their own business. Its a very clever scam. But he won't listen to you just now as he is currently being brainwashed by the people above him. Just keep saying no.

Original poster
PookieDo · 14/07/2019 21:04

That was painful. At 8pm I didn’t join the Skype thing so he text me again asking me to join.

I said I had looked at the company and it isn’t right for me thanks but no thanks

He says can I ask why and how you decided that

I replied I don’t want to invest any money or find a new job and don’t have time

So he asked again why I think this

So I replied that I have seen other people getburned and it’s a terrible idea

I hate the way MLM suck them into this cult like way of thinking. I’ve said no FIVE TIMES

OP posts:
NauseousMum · 14/07/2019 21:08

Good luck. I suspect they'll be more questioning of you soon.

RebootYourEngine · 14/07/2019 21:10

Did he reply to your last message?

Original poster
PookieDo · 14/07/2019 21:11

He replied to say let’s still meet up anyway. Erm no thanks 😂

OP posts:
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