To ask how to deal with this?

[PinkGlitter123]

Was used heavily by a friend whose marriage broke down. They were texting me daily, sobbing on me regularly and always inviting me to events right up until they met a new partner then it was like I ceased to exist despite them knowing I was struggling too with something separate.
I told them I didn't like what they did and they showed all their friends and family my messages as well as their new partner. Basically trying to tell them how unreasonable and cruel I am.
Now, they are blissfully happy, loved up by their partner and massively supported where as I am not.
I try to keep busy, stay away from social media and forget about it all but I can't help but feel really bitter.
Why do people who use others come out on top? I know I will get flamed for this but the injustice of it all is too much to bear.

Sorry you're feeling so hurt. Your "friend" used you and that stings.

As someone who has recently got over a difficult time where I hated someone so much it was keeping me awake all night I do understand how you feel. That said I have worked hard to get over it and feel much happier than I have for months.

It's not easy but you have to let go of the hate or it will destroy you.

Thanks Ellie.
I too stay up some nights feeling angry and bitter but I know the only one it hurts is me. All they are focused on is how blissfully happy they are. I try and distance myself from what I know will hurt/annoy me but it is easier said than done.

I was so good to them and this is how I get treated. Now I am seen as the nasty, unreasonable one where they are seen as the lovely, kind and thoughtful person 😐

Her marriage broke down, you listened, comforted, offered advice and now her life is all rosy, she doesn't need you now and probably associates you with that bad time in her life.
It's very wrong what she did but please try not to let in consume you. You were a good friend and sound caring; don't be bitter, it's a horrible emotion. Easier said than done I know. Just make sure you're not there for her if this relationship goes tits up!

The people you believe think you're nasty and unreasonable probably don't even think of you at all. It's easy to become very paranoid and obsessed with what others are thinking, the reality is you're probably not even on their radar.

The only ones who matter are those that truly love you.

I wish you well x

We won’t flame you. Your ex-friend was a shit. It was a terrible lesson to learn, I’m afraid. Hugs.

Thank you.
I just know what they are like. They very much need constant validation that they are a good person and it seems their happiness is the only thing that counts. I know their family and friends dont think of me but even knowing I have been talked about in a bad light even once irritates me. As does knowing that their partner constantly talks about how lovely, kind and thoughtful they are.

Even writing it out winds me up.

Hopefully time will ease these feelings as the injustice is a lot to take. I still have to see this person around a lot which doesn't help. Just seems to me like the users and self absorbed people get on best in life.

Writing it down is actually very helpful, keep doing it.

In what capacity do you have to see them around a lot? That must be very difficult.

Live nearby and on school runs. It's very, very difficult.

That sucks. I'm signed off work just now so I can avoid my nemesis for the time being, going to have to return eventually though, hopefully I won't give a flying fuck by then.

What did you write in the text messages op that you sent her and she showed people?

If it was simply you feel excluded and don't like the fact she seemed to have dropped uou. Then I don't think anyone will think bad of you. If you were more extreme, then yes, they may well think bad of you, depending on what you wrote?

I definitely wasn't abusive or rude. No swearing or personal insults.
Just more about how I didn't like how they treated me. Nothing unkind but I know all the family and friends will be saying how wrong I am. Anyone else and I wouldn't be paranoid but I know this person likes to show texts to almost 'poll' them on what they think. Of course, because they are family/friends, they agree with them.

'Writing it down is actually very helpful, keep doing it.'

Very true

Sorry you are feeling low about this Op. This person wasn't your friend

She’s a bitch and a user, not a real friend. Block her.

I just wonder why other people get treated so much better by them. Or maybe its the case that they love you until you disagree with them /point out their selfish behaviour kind of thing 😐

This happened to me too. Good friend from secondary school onwards but she was only interested in me when she was single. As soon as she got in a relationship, she dropped me like a ton of bricks. She did it twice until I clicked and dropped her.

People can be absolute twats and users. It’s not worth the energy getting worked up about it.

There will be a next time though

What do you mean fluffycloudland77 ?

I agree PinkTinker. This has certainly been a learning curve. Just wish the anger and bitterness would go away.