DH sodding off to badminton whilst I'm unwell

[Hormonesareabxtch]

Me and the kids were just beginning to get over a bug so feeling pretty crap in general, but I'm also having my first period since giving birth to our last DC and it is like nothing I've ever had before, It's torrential and very painful.

I've had a cracking headache for two days and feel weak, all the result of the period and associated hormones i presume but very unpleasant when you're trying to fend off a bug and look after the children single handedly.

DH is part of a badminton club and the group meet every weekend to play. They're a nice bunch and I get on well with them, never any objections to his hobby from me. I'm not resentful of him having his own time.

My AIBU is, am I being unreasonable by being unimpressed with DH for going this weekend as opposed to missing just one occasion, so he could be present at home and give me a hand as needed.

Without wanting to sound like a martyr, I've struggled today. DC1 is being difficult DC2 is inconsolable, I was left to sort all of the housework including DH's dishes which he conveniently left in the sink before going, the lazy arse.

I appreciate he needs something for himself and have never begrudged him that, but I'm not impressed today.

If I were you I would seek some medical advice. I have had aneamia on and off for years and the dizzy/ headache symptoms are concerning me.

Baby is 3 months old but my periods only came back three days ago. I couldn't say how many pads I've gone through since it began but it's been alot. The dizzy/weak feeling with a cracking headache is new to me and I've not had that accompanying periods before.

I was anemic after the birth and put on iron tablets but subsequent blood test reported that I was no longer anemic so I'm a bit confused as the first thing I thought when this started was anemia.

I've had to come and lay down because the dizziness is getting worse, he won't be home for at least another hour even if he left now.

I don't feel at all right I'm so angry with him

OP phone 111 if you're not feeling right.
Call him and ask him to come home now.

Your situation has changed since your initial post and you now definitely need help.

I genuinely think you need to contact both 111 and your husband, op. It's probably sensible to get checked out

I've already text him and told him how I felt and said I suspect it's from heavy blood loss so he needs to come home relatively quickly and take over, his response was that it takes a while to get back and he "can't fly"

DC are quiet at the moment, one in moses basket and other in travel cot I just hope they don't need anything in the time it takes him to get back

I will call 111 and see what they suggest I do. I could do without sitting in A&E for hours today feeling like this

Your symptoms warrant a call to 111.
Please give them a ring now.

They can book you an appointment with a walk in clinic if necessary so don't worry about that x

He doesn't sound at all supportive
Hope you feel better soon

OP, do you have a friend or neighbour nearby who could come in and be with you until DH gets back?

I agree that you need to seek medical help. If you have to go to hospital, is there a friend or neighbour who can look after your older child? (Assuming the baby will need to be with you for BF, otherwise both). I wouldn't rely on your husband hurrying home, and you need someone with you.

Had I asked him not to go he would have spent the day with a face like a slapped arse and held it against me, that much is certain

Show him this thread. Mumnetters will put him right!

Seriously though, I’ve been there with similar issues when I got my first period after breastfeeding for 2 years. It was horrendous and I never would have managed without dp. You just need to tell him straight and tell him to stop with the guilt trip. It won’t hurt him to stay and look after you for a day. We all need a bit of tlc and he should have taken over himself when he realised you weren’t well. Very selfish of him

Just saw your update, definitely call 111

Fuck everyone who thinks YABU. He is a selfish arsehole who should have stayed home and let you rest. It's not like he can't go and do exactly the same thing next weekend. Selfish prick.

I spoke with 111 who weren't that concerned and said it's to be expected to bleed heavily with a first period after having a baby and so long as there is no offensive smell, large clots or a fever then I'm ok. That has reassured me a bit as I don't have the smell, clots or fever.

They recommended I make an appointment with my GP to have my iron levels checked though, but I can't do that until Monday.

I have some ferrous sulphate tablets left over but them things are evil, will have to take one with dinner.

DH is home now and I'm laid in bed with a bar of chocolate and a sugary tea. He's not in my good books whatsoever

What kind of pad are you soaking every 40 mins?
If it’s a maternity one go to out of hours or whatever available to you.
Is there anyone else that could help with kids just now, family friends? Sorry you are having a rubbish time.

It's not one of the huge maternity ones no, it's the standard size pad in Ultra.

Nobody except DH near enough to help out unfortunately.

He also left it too late to get to Aldi for the kids nappies so now I have to spend a fortune at the corner shop buying bags of pampers. Twat.

How are you today @Hormonesareabxtch?