AIBU to be like me becoming vegetarian will be an imposition on others (and myself)

[BogstandardBelle]

Like many people, I’ve been eating less meat lately. For me personally, I think I could quite happily become vegetarian, maybe pescatarian.

There are a couple of barrier I am struggling to overcome.

One is cooking for my immediate family. Two boys and DH and while they are okay with less meat, they don’t have any desire to become vegetarian. So I will end up cooking separately for myself. Plus, neither of the boys are particularly adventurous eaters - well not when it comes to vegetables anyway! We’d just got to the point of finding lots of meals that everyone will eat happily - starting that all over again is a bit daunting. I like cooking but I’m fed up spending hours in the kitchen!

The second is the impact on my wider family. We live overseas so when we visit it’s usually for a couple of weeks at a time. No one - literally no one - in my or DHs family are vegetarian. My sisters partner was when they first met, but he soon started eating meat and fish with her, and now he isn’t vegetarian at all (thought they do still eat a lot of veggie dishes). Both my family and DHs are happy meat eaters, and in my family in particular, not eating what they prepare would be seen as a rejection. And expecting them to «cater» for me for days on end. And DH has made a hobby of becoming a charcoal BBQ expert over the last few years - smoked chicken, ribs, etc... he too would find it a criticism for me to stop eating what he Cooks.

So advice / thoughts on overcoming these barriers? Or maybe I’m just not committed enough?

I’m vegetarian, but I think you’re seeing problems you needn’t have.
Start with not eating red meat and boosting the veggie side of things. That’s healthier all round for your family. You don’t need to make it a big deal right from the word go, or announce your conversion from a mountain top.

I was brought up vegetarian with my dad eating meat. He never ate meat at home apart from fish and chips as a takeaway occasionally.
When we were really small (So 20-25 years ago) my mum would take a vegetarian main with her when we went to relatives. If you are staying longer than for a meal could you cook something there? Or at least offer to?
At home I think if you are happy to cook a separate meal for yourself then go for it.
Do you plan on actually being vegetarian or just not eating meat and fish?

I’ve been a vegetarian for 30 years and for most of that, the only veggie in the family. It’s only a barrier if you make it a barrier to be honest! My DH eats meat, one child eats meat & the other is now a veggie. We manage fine! I have never cooked meat at home so DH will cook it if he wants to eat it & we mostly eat veggie. It’s really not an issue & one of my kids is a fussy eater too!

Or, much as I hate the word, just continue to be flexitarian. Reduce your meat intake, introduce new meals to your family, grafually change the diet & if every now and then you eat meat or fish it's not the end of the world.

That might be easier and more sustainable long term than a big conversion moment.

Why do you want to become a vegetarian? Asking because I think your motivation is linked to how you approach these challenges.

I’m veggie and have been for a long time. My boys love meat so I cook it for them. I do easy meals a lot of the time for everyone. I don’t prepare fish or a bird from scratch but will put something in a pan or in the oven to cook.
If you feel you want to do this for ethical and health reasons then you can probably stretch to the slight inconveniences. It’s just a matter of adjustment and with a few years it will feel like no issue at all.

You don't usually need to make a whole separate meal, just substitute the meat part for something veggie. Eg sausages/veggie sausages.

Me and dd are veggie and DP and other dd eat meat. They only eat it about twice a week though and don't really realise half of the time whether a meal is meat or not.

I usually take some veggie stuff with me to relatives.

Thank you for the responses, you are helping me to consider my motivations. It's a combination of cost, health and ethical implications. We generally buy free-range or organic meat, but it's really expensive. Do I have an objection to eating animals per se? No, I probably don't.

I think my parents are the problem in my head. My mum in particular is very (over) sensitive to anything she perceives as a criticism... when my sister's boyf first came on the scene, she made a big deal of how difficult it was to cater for him and fussed around making really fancy / labour intensive vegetarian recipes every time he visited. She really really doesn't like vegetables and has never eaten them much (this is a whole separate thread!) and just can't get her head round someone wanting to eat them. She has never cooked in a way that puts veggies at the centre of a meal: they are only ever a grudging bit of green or orange stuff on the side of the plate. The thought of going to stay with her for two weeks and either putting her out hugely OR taking over her kitchen to cook my own stuff (and implying that her way of eating is somehow wrong / not good enough / unhealthy) makes my brain hurt!

I do like the idea of introducing it gradually at home.

If it's what you want then go for it, all barriers can be overcome - many families have one veggie member, we do. But I would suggest if you do it that you should go full veggie, like many people, just eating fish I consider being fussy because fish are living creatures, far more respect for full vegetarians. We eat meat maybe 3 times a week now and on those days I cook something separate for my dd, or it's a dish I add the meat separately eg we have steak, she has halloumi