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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel she doesn’t like me?

2 replies

Namechange2306 · 13/07/2019 20:34

Name change for obvious reasons.

I have an almost 9 month old baby girl, I’ve been going to baby groups since she was about 3 months old. I found it very difficult at first as I suffer with social anxiety and generalised anxiety disorder (GAD). A couple of mums spoke to me and we started messaging each other and meeting regularly. Going to cafes after groups etc.

Then somone else joined the group, with a baby who is a few months younger than ours. Instantly I fidnt feel at ease with her. I can’t say why, I just didn’t. I tried to get to know her though.
She was okay for the first couple of meet ups, then started ignoring me subtly, not making eye contact when talking to me, cutting the conversation short whenever I tried to start one. The others all really seem to love her. She’s the opposite of me, confident, extrovert, comfortable in her skin, very sociable, popular. The one mum friend who I was becoming very close to, has started spending much more time with her and not asking me out with them. Obviously I don’t expect to be asked to every meet up, however when we go to baby groups now, they sit together and chat away, bouncing off each other, laughing and enjoying one another’s company. I try and join in but they basically ignore me.
I’ve noticed if the new mum isn’t there, the one I was originally close to, will speak to me more and ask me to go for coffee etc.

I know this all probably sounds really childish...but my anxiety is through the roof now. I feel like I’m losing any ‘mum friends’ I made. I just dont think this new person likes me and is trying to push me out.

OP posts:
Goingbacktokansascity · 13/07/2019 20:57

Sorry to hear that. It might be that she got the vibe you instantly didn’t connect with her and the feeling was mutual. She’s probably not intentionally trying to push you out but just isn’t going out of her way to make an effort

Rachelover40 · 13/07/2019 21:21

I thought the same as Gongbacktokansascity. It's amazing how we give off signals to people. I doubt anyone means to slight you, namechange. Try not to worry about it.

You are very brave to have joined baby groups in the first place, I wouldn't have gone anywhere near one! I'm always thankful there were no such things when mine was a baby plus I went back to work part time and that gave me sufficient adult company.

Good luck and remember there isn't instant chemistry between everyone. It's natural to like some people more than others but that doesn't mean anyone is hated.

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