Work gossip

[Nautiloid]

How do you handle knowing people are gossiping negatively about you behind your back at work?

I've just found out that this is the case in my team of 6...although only three people have been taking part.

It shouldn't surprise me because they gossip about everyone else (I don't join in). But naively I thought if they had a genuine issue they would speak to me as we've worked together for years.

I've recently been given a bit more responsibility. Not much, there's no extra pay and I'm not supervising them in any capacity.

I have been told they don't think I've communicated something to them clearly. I've thought and thought about it and they may have a very minor point, but I think the majority of it is just the need to talk about colleagues all the time.

I'm not sure what my question is. I suppose I'm moderately sad and also annoyed. I can work on communication but I don't feel very good about working with them every day knowing how disingenuous they are.

I know many people will have been in this position...what did you do? Thanks.

I haven’t experienced this myself so my post is really a bump so that others can read and respond.

For what’s it’s worth I do think you’ve answered a lot of your own question in that this is just the type of people they are and the culture that’s grown where you work. It’s not necessarily personal to you, or your work methods, if it wasn’t that they’d likely pick on something else. You either ignore and rise above it, making minor amendments as you see fit, or front them about it. Depends on how bothered you are and how confident you feel.

Most workplaces gossip about their colleagues it's a fact of life and at some point we will have been the star turn.

I deal with it by realising it has absolutely no impact on my life. I have the same fantastic DH and dc my supportive friends, my dog, my neighbors. None of them give a shite if Fiona from accounts is a two faced cow so why should I?

I have been told they don't think I've communicated something to them clearly. I've thought and thought about it and they may have a very minor point

^^ that isnt gossip. Thats a collective of disgruntled staff. You admit you have failed to communicate something to them appropriately.

You need to bring this up directly - ""Mary/Ted/Jim I understand you think X wasnt communicated appropriately, I apologise for the oversight and I would appreciate you bringing any similar issues up directly with myself in future""

I would define gossip as discussing private issues eg whether you are sleeping with your manager, that sort of thing; thats gossip.

Whether you could term it gossip or not is semantics. Members of staff, who are not supervised by the OP, are discussing her in a negative way behind her back. The OP concedes that after some thought, they may have a minor point. The onus should be on them to raise it, not for the OP to find out by pure chance via a third party. If they don’t raise it then it smacks more that they want to continue moaning than to have any wrinkles ironed out.

The Ask A Manager blog might have some good advice