To hate it when people sing?

[Ilovemybrick2]

I don't mean choirs or humming a happy tune as you do your dishes. I mean randomly breaking out into song.

This might just be my mad family but I'll try and explain

So my mum and her immediate family members do have very nice singing voices and are known in their local area for this.

However they do this thing where they basically start singing and everyone has to stop and listen.

So for example, everyone is at one of their houses for auntie's 60th. Someone will say something that inadvertently reminds someone else of a song (say uncle Pete says the chicken in thyme is lovely, aunt Sally will break out into Wild Mountain Thyme)

And then she'll do this haunting a capella rendition and everyone is expected to stop what they're doing and listen to her, marvelling at her talent or whatever the fuck. Or in my case, wishing she'd be quiet.

Another example - the other day I was giving my mum a lift somewhere with my baby and older child in the back. Baby started fussing. Mum launched into haunting rendition of some fucking song she sings in her choir. Baby fussed more. I had a conversation with older DC regarding baby's rattle, where it was and if DC could reach it. All the time mum is warbling away soulfully. I asked her if she could stop singing a minute so I could hear DC. She then got really ratty with me and snapped "I'm allowed to sing if I want!". But I know that she was pissed off because the car didn't fall silent at the power of her voice, instead we went on a verbal hunt for the fucking rattling dragonfly toy.

Seriously, they do this all the fucking time and it makes me cringe to the point where I want to claw out my eardrums. I feel like a mortified teenager.

AIBU? Am I being petty or is this genuinely annoying as fuck?

I'm not even sure what annoys me about it, I think it's the soulful attitude

@Matilda your post reminded me, that happened at my wedding too!

I think I'd repressed that memory!

Yanbu OP!

This thread is so funny!

It makes me think of that horrific scene in Extras when Maggie goes to her friend's birthday party where everyone has to watch the friend and her dad performing... I can't even watch that scene, let alone deal with it in real life!

The worst thing so far has got to be the Aladdin duet, starting out quietly so no one notices and getting louder. I think I'd actually be sick on the floor.

We have a mother at school who breaks into a descant to harmonise against the kids carols at Christmas. It makes me want to die on the spot.

😂😂😂

That YouTube video is me and my male, gay, best friend.

I'm literally a walking, singing stereotype 😂😂 Sorry, now not sorry. We have a blast

I recently threatened to divorce DH on the grounds that our vows were for better for worse, richer, poorer, etc and not 'up for a bit of karaoke of a Saturday night'.

It's the mannerisms which really amplify the torture- he's perfecting a Swing-N-Wink move

His family are the sort who eye up newcomers and mutter 'Does (s)he sing themselves?'. And they all have their own song and WOE BETIDE the incomer who sings On the Banks of the Lovely Lee, sure that's Geraldine's song and they'll never get her to sing now!

@dontdoxmeeither

slowly reaches for my Kazoo

stares you straight in your eyes and plays the Star Wars Imperial March

Having said that, the bhangra aunties at the funeral sound hilarious

Gawd. This reminds me of being at A-level college and my mate (who is also an insufferable show off) made friends with a load of performing arts students.

The endless bursting into song/practicing stunt fighting moves/juggling random objects got very old very quickly. Not being inclined to fawn over every tedious attention seeker, I wasn't particularly liked by this group, because I would usually piss off out for a fag and an eye roll every time someone figuratively announced "everyone stop what your doing and look at/listen to me in rapt wonder. Aren't I just awesome? WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME IM AWESOME..?"

Fucking gawd.

Nobody in my family sings in this way but my Mum does have an annoying habit of sshushing us all when a song comes on with lyrics that she likes...

No matter what is happening she makes all all be quiet and listen to the "meaningful" lyrics! It's awful.

My brother is a real Mummy's boy but even he hates this and when we were chosing the music for their wedding anniversary he said don't put anything in it with "poinient" lyrics otherwise Mum will make us all stop and listen to it!

... strong critisism for my brother!

@Badcat666

reaches for harem pants and launches into "Can't touch this" complete with crap effort sidey shuffle (can't dance for toffee)

I repel your plastic screechy instrument!

Dramatic pause until applause/inevitable encore

That reminds me of a woman I worked with who would randomly start doing ballet on the tube. I did ballet for years to a reasonably high standard but I would have shriveled up into my own arsehole if I’d done it in public.

This reminds me of the Royle family, when there was an occasion of some sort, and joe the neighbour would break into some old Irish song that went on forever, everyone would fall silent, the nanna even cried over one of the songs!

The worst thing so far has got to be the Aladdin duet, starting out quietly so no one notices and getting louder. I think I'd actually be sick on the floor.

Does anyone remember when Katie Price and Peter Andre released “a whole new world” as a duet? It was awkward factor x 100

My Nan sings sweet Caroline whenever we're all together even does the DUN DUN DUN bits ah hate it

This reminds me of the Royle family, when there was an occasion of some sort, and joe the neighbour would break into some old Irish song that went on forever, everyone would fall silent

Was just thinking exactly this. I hated those moments in the show and always thought it just didn't ring true.

At least you could always turn it off though. Having to actually live it is properly grim

I like a good sing to myself when in the car or cleaning but I find anyone 'performing' really really cringy

I used to hang out with a group of musical theatre types by a friends of friends situation and parties were dire. You'd all be drunkenly chatting and having a laugh, then some bloke would break out his guitar and start some breathy number. Always slowed down. And we'd all have to stop and pay attention, even though it was utter shite

Or you'd be drunkingly dancing and singing along a bit or karaoke and then there be people trying to harmonise and perform what was a funny drunken moment, again with that intense nasal, breathy tone. Bohemian rapsody was a total nightmare, I still get a sense of dread when it comes on the radio

You could never have fun because there would always be some serious performance involved, someone trying to show off. Sometimes they would just start randomly doing little ballet skips as well.

Sometimes they would just start randomly doing little ballet skips as well.

There have been some truly great moments in this thread. I’ve just laughed out loud again at this one.

@ShirleyPhallus a part of me shrivelled and died when that happened

*OP, get a Kazoo. Get a Kazoo in EVERY room of the house. In fact get 2 or 3 per room so one is always in reach.

When they start warbling, play along with the Kazoo. Say you want to feel part of the magical experience but the only way you get reach pure joy is via the Kazoo. Start crying if they say you can't and then play mournful songs on said Kazoo whilst making eye contact with them*

I can’t stop laughing at the mental image this has conjured up! Please do it OP

Im on a Facebook group that shares tips about a holiday resort in Europe and there's a post up about starting a trad Irish sessions in the Plaza area on Saturday evenings.... People are now saying they'll bring their instruments.... All random strangers.....Jaysus Im considering cancelling my holiday and don't ya know they are only mad for some one to whip out a phone and upload it and be the next internet sensation......

This sounds like the beginning of Four Weddings and A Funeral when that ghastly couple are warbling " I Can't Smile Without You" in complete ignorance that every member of the congregation is wondering if it's possible to drown yourself in the font.

Are you Irish OP? This is a thing here and it drives me mental

I've been to a couple of Irish weddings and about halfway though the evening someone would start up and off they'd all go, taking it in turns to stand up and sing their party piece. Which was actually great as they were all practiced performers and everyone would clap and sing along, but they encouraged everyone else to do it too and wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. I think they meant well but they had no understanding of the idea that some folk would rather eat their own vocal chords than stand up and sing at all, let alone a cappella, in front of 200 people they don't know. It all got rather Mrs Doyle: "Ah go on, go, on, go on, go on..."

I found it really stressful and learned my lesson for subsequent weddings: hide at the back and disappear to the loo any time anyone looks expectantly your way. The bar staff must have thought I had some terrible bladder problem.

These has been thoroughly entertaining to read
Friends of ours went to a wedding in Ireland where older relatives sang somber songs and everyone had to stop and listen. Woe betide anyone who tried to join in, or sing a different song. Sounded like a barrel of laughs!
Honestly, OP, you have a very funny writing style, but I’m cringing right along with you. The over-confidence, the warbling, the expectation of a silent audience and then a round of applause afterwards - why?? Just why?? Ugh.

p.s. NOT a kazoo. It's far too easy to be accidentally in tune with a kazoo. What you want is a swannee whistle.

I was away getting the kids shoes, fuck me I'm lighter for a few quid. Cringing in sympathetic horror with you all, except the poster with the bhangra aunts, you don't know you're born, you ungrateful whelp, if swap any time.

Bugger the kazoo. I spotted that post when I stopped for a Subway break mid between Clark's and Asda and I've thought long and hard, and I'm getting a harmonica.

They're all forever complaining of me not getting into the spirit and of trying to "shush" them when they're ALLOWED TO SING, so I'm going to shut them all up by telling them I'm learning to play the harmonica.I can carry it everywhere. They can't say a thing. Then I'm going to carry it on me and the next time one of the fuckers gets handsy with the Van Morrison I'm.going to accompany them on the harmonica. Then if they tell me to stfu I can tell them that I'M ALLOWED TO PLAY THE HARMONICA. The next family event is in October so I've a few months to drop hints and create interest

Last year DP's family went to a restaurant to celebrate his mother's birthday. He took DS1 (16) with him. I stayed home with DS2 (5). The family are "musical". DP is not.

DS1 returned traumatised at the restaurant sing-off where another family topped their elaborate rendition of Happy Birthday so they did it again with more effort, then the other family did it again with more effort, and then the restaurant manager told them all to stop singing or leave.

I sometimes ask him if he remembers it just for the impassioned rant which follows.