Changing son's surname

[MissBootyBass]

I have recently fled domestic abuse. Son is still a baby. I call him by my surname. Can't bring myself to say his real surname. I wanted it to be double barreled but was bullied out of it. CAFCASS have recommended indirect contact. I believe my ex will be asked to go on a domestic violence perpetrators course if he wants access. I've heard that courts don't tend to let you change the surname. I don't really know what to do. I feel sick even saying my exes name, he was abusive towards me and our baby and is now dragging us through court. Thankfully CAFCASS appear to see through his shit.

Can anyone advise on the name change?

You can use a 'known name' ie Jimmy Smith - but official records will have to be in his legal name. So he can go school as Jimmy Smith rather than James Brown, but at the end of it, unless he has changed name legally via deed poll or adoption, his GCSE certificates etc will be in the name of James Brown. SIMS/MIS is set up for this, as are MHS record databases. It's not uncommon.

It is worth pointing out that a child can deed poll from 16 without consent:

Age restrictions. You must be 16 years of age or more to execute your own deed poll. If you are 16 or 17 years old, you don't need to have the consent of your parents or anyone with parental responsibility for you to change your name — legally you have the right to choose your own name.

www.gov.uk/change-name-deed-poll

You can apply through the courts as long as there are good enough grounds that your son would be at harm keeping his paternal surname. Though I've never personally taken that route so don't know how difficult that would really be.