Teenagers

[Croix]

AIBU to be annoyed that my 15yo daughter went to friends house for tea after school and was given Prosecco as a ‘treat’

Yanbu. I have a 14yo dd. I would expect parents to at least check with me first. I wouldn't be happy.

Yes. Very. At least you know. When I was 15 I was hanging round bus stops and parks with cider. But also, my parents let me drink with them. If you're angry and strict now, she'll only rebel and do it against your back anyway.

I think at 15 a small glass of weak alcohol is not the end of the world. I am envious that you have so little to worry about with your teen that this seems a big deal to you.

Depends why it annoyed you.
Because it was alcohol?
Because it was described as a treat?
Because of your daughter’s reaction?

From our perspective, it wouldn’t matter given the discussions we’ve had as a family about alcohol. I’m teetotal but DH drinks so I think we’re pretty balanced. That said, there’s no issues of alcohol abuse on either side so we’re unbiased.

I think at 15 a small glass of weak alcohol is not the end of the world. I am envious that you have so little to worry about with your teen that this seems a big deal to you.

Wow. Did that make you feel good?

OP, I wouldn't be happy either.

I'd be shocked that I hadn't been asked if it was ok, but if I had I would have said yes to one glass

( mum of a 15 year old boy)

I'd be really annoyed. It's up to you when and if your underage child drinks alcohol.

Well at least you know. I have had absolutely paralytic teenagers to deal with in my time ( not always mine).
One girl (dd s friend) i sat up with all night as she was being very sick and begging us not to call her parents. She was 17. Some parents go so mad at dc that they wont tell them anything

My DD is 17 and it wouldn’t have bothered me.

I agree the parents should've cleared it with you first. Fifteen is still awfully young, and there could be a number of completely legitimate reasons a parent might not want their 15-year-old drinking.

I would not be happy with this. It is not up to other parents to decide when/if you're teen is allowed alcohol. You may/may not have been choosing to allow it yourself at some point and had intended to have a chat about drinking in moderation. You may heartily disapprove of introducing alcohol at all. On a lighter note you may have been looking forward to being there at some special occasion yourself when your daughter tasted her first champagne/prosecco.

I would be raging. I would never offer someone else's teenager alcohol. I am on my 4th teen (15 year old DD) and I know that they all try alcohol at some point, but I certainly don't encourage it. I have met so many parents that believe their DC won't drink to excess if they allow them a limited amount, it's bullshit.

Its not illegal. Treating kids like adults tends to make them act like adults.

The thing is...She didn’t tell me- I found out because she posted a picture on social media- so her 1000’s of followers saw it- it’s not that I don’t want to her to try alcohol safely- but I think that some parents provide alcohol as a way of being perceived as ‘cool’ parents. I want to be a parent not a friend to my daughter. Social media....a whole other thread!

**It’s not illegal. Treating kids like adults tends to make them act like adults.

I am an adult and I don’t drink wearing my school uniform!!!

Treating kids like adults tends to make them act like adults.

Children are not supposed to be treated like adults. That's why we have laws to protect them ffs.

You're not unreasonable, she shouldn't even have been offered the drink at 14, different if she was at home with you but this was with 'strangers'. Seems odd to serve alcohol at tea time too.

However I'm sure your daughter is OK and not on her way to being alcoholic.