Jealous friend

[akmum18]

Posting for traffic... a friend who I’ve suspected has been avoiding me has come to me and said it’s taken her months to find the words and courage but she wants to be honest that she is jealous of my life. I have a partner and children, she is divorced and has recently suffered violence in a new relationship she left and time is running out for her to have children. I have been supportive of her throughout her issues in life as she has with mine but I don’t know how to deal with this. I don’t want her to be jealous I just want her to be happy for me as I am for her after what she’s been through and came out of as a strong person. I know she wants the fairytale life and in her eyes I have that but I can’t make it happen for her or let myself feel uncomfortable around her knowing she resents me for having what she wants. My life isn’t perfect by all means and she knows this. I can see her point of view too and I would be jealous of anyone who had children if I didn’t and wanted them. Any tips on how to handle this and make her feel better? I don’t want to lose the friendship nor tip toe around her either. Tia

Do you have to do anything? She’s been honest, hopefully feels better for admitting her secret. Just be her friend, tell her you’ll be honest with her. Things might change between you but at least you know what’s it’s all been about.

Did she want you to do anything? Odd that she's envious of you when presumably many other women are also married with children.

Well, I think she's been incredibly insightful, honest and brave to admit her jealousy to herself and to you.

You are lucky to know such a person - just be a friend back, honest, sympathetic, supporting.

Fortune's' wheel keeps turning endlessly - you never know what will happen in any of our lives in the future. Maybe gently remind her of that from time to time when she feels down.

Lots of that type of behaviour are due to jealousy. I had a friend who had form for being a bit rude , I’ve posted about her here before. On speaking to another friend she told me she was jealous of me! I was shocked. I’ve had a very very hard life and have had to fight for everything I have and have worked bloody hard for it. I’ve retrained recently and am doing something I love! You’d think she’d be happy for me?!

Probably now she has told you you will find that the friendship will go back to an even keel, I expect it’s been building for some time and now she has told you it will be like a weight has been lifted from her shoulders, however I do think it’s a bit odd to have homed in on you, surely she has other friends/acquaintances/work colleagues who have children? To avoid you for months seems a bit of an overreaction.

Thanks all I’ve told her I respect her honesty and I don’t want her to feel that way, I just wasn’t sure if it would make things awkward, I’ll let her come to me when she’s ready

Commenting as I feel in a similar situation. My friends relationships haven't been great, I know she is desperate for a family and I've just fall pregnant although after a long time trying so she knows the struggles I've had. I guess I'm just conscious of not try to talk about my life too much when we hang out. Its hard as you've you done nothing wrong apart from living your life and it happens to have gone differently to your friends. Hopefully now she has got it off her chest she feels better.

I think lots of people are jealous of others & it affects their behaviour towards them in seemingly irrational ways

"I just want her to be happy for me".

Well that's just tough. Ive been wanting to win the lottery for the past 20+ years, but I'm afraid up to now I'm still whistling Dixie.
You can't expect her to be over the moon for you when you've got the one thing she wants (A happy family)
Shes bound to be jealous. Its only natural.