Child maintenance

[Tinydancer08]

OK so my childrens father has decided he shouldn't be paying child support this week as he took the kids out today. Him & gf give kids a fiver each and he spent £30 on clothes. Aibu to think he should pay? It's lead to that he shouldn't have to pay at all as he has them 3 nights a week they get picked up at 5 and dropped home at 7 in the morning. So not even full days. He never goes out buys clothes/stuff they need regularly like I would do. He pays £30 a week but earns anything between 600 & 800 a week after tax but obviously has work expenses but could be left with £400 after that rent etc paid. I'm just sick of chasing the money each week. Is it worth the hassle for £30 a week? He usually only buys them stuff bdays/xmas/Easter.

Is he self employed?

Yes self employed.

Just go through CMS, it takes all his perceived power away if they take it out if his wage.

Do you have a private maintenance arrangement with him?

@lunar1 if he is self employed he wont have a wage per se, his books will be fiddled

He's classed as self employed but he's a van driver and they pay his tax on his behalf. So I'm not sure how it works all the self employed stories seem to put me off trying and hassle of it all. Haven't seen any positive stories through csa when I've researched

Can you chase him through official channels? He’s deluded if he thinks that even remotely covers their costs for the week.

He gets a wage paid into the bank weekly but he is classed as self employed

The payment is calculated based on the difference in costs between the two of you of raising your children, because some of his costs would be otherwise covered by you. So if he has them 3 overnights and you have them four, some payment is due. What he chooses to spend on them when they are with him is separate to that, so he owes you the £30 regardless.

He pays for his van and diesel out of that money but work pays his tax n ni. I've tried explaining all that to him but because he takes them 3 nights he thinks he shouldn't and when he's skint after nights out etc he gets his mum to feed them so some nights he's not even doing that himself

He's no problem in spending on his gf of 6 months. Nights out dinners presents. But I have to pester him and I feel worthless doing it. If I didn't need the money I wouldn't bother.

Csa calculator says I should be getting about £60 a week off him. He would have heart failure. It went from 50 a week down to 25 then up to 30. For 2 kids.

My ex is self employed. Cms have been great in getting money out of him. They collect it from him and pass to me. If he defaults, they chase him. You’ll also end up getting more money hopefully and regularly without the hassle. It’s irrelevant how much money he’s left with. It’s calculated on his income.

Csa calculator says I should be getting about £60 a week off him

Show him that and says he can either pay you on time (I would up it to £50) or you go throug the CSA/CMS/whatever they're called this week.

And then do it if he defaults. What do you have to lose?

He's basically told me to go ahead as in they won't get anything off him. He can be quitw intimidating like shouting mouthing off and I don't wana cause any of that. But I know it will happen.

My ex has our son a few hours a week and pays £40 a week. He’s always paid this amount but tbh sometimes I think he should pay more. He is self employed and is generally earning a lot more than he did when we split 8 years ago. He doesn’t have to feed him, clothe him, pay for school trips.

Your ex just can’t decide when to pay or to pay. It needs to be consistent.

If he was having him for 3 full days a week I would say he shouldn’t have to pay much. But 5pm-7am is lame.

I've just noticed he's sent £20 into the joint account that were he sends the money. So basically he is moaning over a tenner now. Told him to stick it. Happy enough spending 40/50 on his bag of drugs at the weekends when he's on it. I swear I don't no how much long I can take arguing over shit weekly with an ex. Does it get any better

Just seen he's sent you £20. Wow, stingy sod. Have you shown him the cms calculator?

I sent it back to him. Yes I've shown him doesn't care say he has them 3 nights that's plenty he pays for there food while he has them. There really is no talking to him. He moans hes in debt but he not long back from a hoilday with his gf. Always out eating drinking takeaways etc.

I’d just apply for csa because if the employer is paying It into his bank then he can’t claim he’s earning a lower amount

I’d just apply for csa because if the employer is paying It into his bank then he can’t claim he’s earning a lower amount

It doesn't quite work like that if you are self employed. Most trades work on contracts and the main contractor will pay their subbies, who then pay the trades. This is all electronic. It is an option to have tax/ni deducted at source OR to be paid in full depending on the size of the subbie outfit. Either way the creative accountant will reduce the tax liability to £12500 or thereabouts which means all tax will be claimed back.

I say this every time, I do not know any trade who pays tax. Not one single person, even if they are large local employer who run multi million pound contracts, and have a personal 6 figure income; everything is diverted through sub companies and off set against expenses.

He doesn't have an accountant and has never filed tax accounts as far as I no. I checked up and his company was dissolved in May 2019 so I'm not sure what name he is under now. Still with the same company. But he's paid the money and agreed to continue paying it. Tried to back track saying he only ment this week because he took them out for the day. I'll leave it for now but all the arguing over nothing. But if he starts again I'll have to go to csa