My mum and dad are still married, which is relevant. I get on very well with my mum and I think she is an absolute angel. My dad, however, is an asshole.
We've had a very difficult relationship and I've rarely stuck up for myself. In every way I was the perfect child. Did well at school, obeyed everything my parents said, got perfect grades, went to a good university, supported myself, got a good job/career. I am now 25, own a house near to my parents just outside of London in HC with my fiance. Dad and I have been very close before, getting on really well, it's peaks and troughs.
My dad would always tell me I'd fail something, or tell me he wishes I was as smart/ as pretty as X friend (who wasn't even smart/pretty) so it was always just to compare me. X would change to whichever person he remembered the name of or whichever person came up on the TV.
He stonewalls my mum and me. He didn't talk to me for 3 months when I got my first boyfriend at 16. This was detrimental as when the boyfriend became abusive I felt like I had no one to go to. My dad has always been unaccepting of men in my life, he is only just tolerating my fiance since we are engaged.
My mum knows she probably should have left him but since I moved out my dad and their relationship has been far more positive. They won't divorce.
I know my dad is behind my anxiety as an adult, he would always cause arguments and has now tuned me in a way that's quite fierce, at times aggressive and demanding as he has made me feel like I need this to be strong.
Anyway the reason I am writing this. I rescued a dog last year. I adore animals and volunteer for the charity now. We had adjusted our lifestyles for the dog with dog walkers and working from home.
My mum would have no issue in looking after my dog whenever requested; she's trained, well behaved and adorable. My parents have a dog and they play together and get on fine. It requires no effort from my parents.
I asked my dad if they could look after my dog on Saturday as we are going out and can't find a dog walker. She loves spending time at theirs, it's her favourite place mainly for my other dog. My dad responded rudely about how they can't keep doing this and that it's 'crap i won't ask again'. They've only had her once before. (Mum is happy to have her but can't unless my dad says yes)
MIL will take the dog anytime, she drove 2 hours to pick her up once whilst we were at work. They love having her and don't find it a burden in the slightest. It's a stark contrast.
So I feel very upset. I haven't asked for much from my parents, they didn't even pay for my bus fare for me to get to sixth form - I had to get a job to pay for it. I have always supported myself and they should be proud of me. It makes me worry about if I have children. We've chosen to live near my parents when DP's are, whilst irritating and difficult, much more supportive with our dogs/and probably future children.
Do you think my dad is out of order or am I just expecting too much?