Noisy colleague

[Kinsters]

I know I'm being unreasonable but omg it's so annoying!

This guy who sits behind me, he's just so unnecessarily noisy! Always clearing his throat (reasonable), bashing at his keyboard (not reasonable) and, my pet hate, smacking stacks of paper with his stapler before he staples them. Please, please just gently shake the paper together like literally everyone else on the planet does. There's no need to whack it against the desk and then rap on the top of it with your stapler. Christ. Why does he have so many documents to staple anyway?!

His breath smells as well.

Ok, rant over.

@AdoreTheBeach there are at least 3. I'm sure they're just playing an extremely long, sneezy version of 'bogies'

@alittlequinnie we've had numerous passive aggressive all-office emails telling people not to put fish in the microwave.
Doesn't stop the onion or soggy broccoli smells 

I used to sit next to someone like this and kept earplugs in my desk.