About colleague and their ridiculous diet

[lastqueenofscotland]

I don’t usually get involved with what other people eat but the lady I sit next to at work is doing a VLCD. Fair play to her I’d not have lasted 5 minutes. HOWEVER, she now just helps herself to other people’s food ad lib. I rarely snack at work but bought a bag of crisps yesterday and while I was on the phone she kept leaning over and helping herself to them when I got off the phone and said “do you mind” her response was “I wish I could eat crisps and stay skinny.”
I got to eat hardly any of my fucking crisps!!!!
She’s done it to a lot of colleagues, will just walk past and pick up whatever they’ve got and break off a bit, and most strangely when I was getting my lunch ready and had a bowl on the side and was washing some cutlery came and swiped the most enormous tablespoon full of it.

Aibu to say if you’re that fucking hungry on your ridiculous diet just get something else to fucking eat.
Queeny doesn’t share food.

Buy some crisps. Remove a few. Generously cover the rest in hot chilli powder. Replace the ones you took out. Eat these and leave the packet open within her reach.

I left some chocolate on my desk for my food thief. It was the hottest chilli chocolate I could get.

He left my sweet supply strictly alone after that

She's not on a very low calorie diet at all if she's snaffling other people's food!

Tell her 'other peoples food has calories I'm afraid, and I'm not dieting so leave off my lovely food

"Give it a rest and go and buy a burger"

Why on earth haven't you bollocked her arse? A simple 'Stop stealing my food, I can't afford to feed you too' or move the bloody packet! The first time she reaches for something, go OTT nuts. If someone had swiped a massive spoonful of my lunch, I would absolutely go crazy on them. Have you not called her out on this yet?

I would have put the caller on hold ‘sorry can you hold I just have to sort something’ then I would move the crisps to my desk drawer.

Hold the bag posessively next to you and whilst eating make over the top noises of pleasure "oh, soooo good.....to die for......"

When she swiped my lunch I did say quite firmly “that doesn’t happen again” which she seemed a bit surprised at and hasn’t tried that again but went for my crisps and everyone else’s snacks

Why are you putting up with this? You need to say loudly and clearly that taking other people's food is just not on and that she must stop it. No need to even mention her diet.

Wow i would go apeshit if someone stole my food. No wonder she loses no weight. Just because she doesn't pay for it, doesn't mean the food isn't going into her belly!

What will you say to her today when she tries?

That would infuriate me. I don't usually finish my food so often offer out what I don't eat, but if someone else has touched it then I can't eat it. I'm a big germophobe so if she took a big spoon out of my bowl I couldn't have eaten the rest. She's a stupid cow and I'm amazed nobody has put her straight yet.

Get some VLCD crisps as a decoy. They are fucking rank. Hide yours in a draw. She'll not do it twice.

I don't get threads like this. On phone someone stealing crisps? Pick up the bag and put it out of reach. Someone stealing your food? Just take it out of their reach and say "please - no more stealing my food". It's bloody simple.

How about a fork in the back of her grasping hand with a firm 'Fuck off, Susan'?

W T F, who does that!

Have you tried "What the actual FUCK do you think you're doing?"

I'd go down the passive-aggressive route with this one. When she reaches for the second crisp, just sigh and give her the bag. If she objects, just say 'no, no Jane, your need is obviously greater than mine, enjoy'.

Send her a link to this:

And then say "and neither does @lastqueenofscotland, colleague 1, colleague 2, etc. "

When she swiped my lunch I did say quite firmly “that doesn’t happen again” which she seemed a bit surprised at and hasn’t tried that again but went for my crisps and everyone else’s snacks

What a bizarre response. Wouldn’t it be “what the hell are you doing eating my lunch?”

Followed by the same when she takes food off your (and everyone else’s) desk? What sort of lame ass workplace is this?

If she does it again perhaps you will snap and fart

Defo chili powder on crisps. Total CF! Personally, I would look at her like she'd taken a dump on the office floor and said "What are you doing?" and then "NO"

I knew someone like this! She lived in the flat below me and would come up almost daily to visit. We were both actors in our 20s back then.

So poor as fuck.

She'd see if something was cooking on the stove...usually soup or curry or something cheap...and she'd "taste it" casually with a spoon.

Then she'd stand there chatting and repeatedly "tasting" it until she'd basically eaten a portion!

Eventually I had to say "Do you mind...that's got to last three days" and she was MASSIVELY offended as though I'd called her a fat pig or something.

CF!

make a list of what she has snitched with estimate of calories & put it on her desk

It’s really unhygenic. Suggest making a complaint to her manager.