School holidays, am I expecting too much of DH??

[SuzieQQQ]

Two weeks of school holidays. I’ve arranged to get the first week off to look after the kids (8 and 6). Every night I’ve cooled, cleaned, out them both to bed etc. my DH asked me what wa ms for dinner tonight and I told him he could sort it out since I’ve cooked every night for two weeks. He mumbled an “okay cool”. I assumed he would cook dinner however surprise surprise 6.30 rocks around and he has nothing organised. I get very pissed off and he’s now annoyed I’m angry! Please tell me I’m not being unreasonable?! Personally I think he needs to grow the f** up and fulfill his end of the bargain. Thoughts? He does this all the time and I’m over it.

The kids shouldn't wait til 7 to eat. If he is deliberately turning up late, tell him to cook and freeze (then remember to get it out of the freezer the night before!) at the weekend if it's his night to cook.

I'd second meal planning with him. Write in your planned meals and leave his blank for him to fill and get him to add the ingredients to whatever shopping arrangement you have. Can't make it worse.

He wasn't there at 6.30 but you were already annoyed at him? Did he walk in to you standing there ready to have a go because you knew he wouldn't have remembered to go buy ingredients? The children sitting there hungry while you seethed waiting to prove your point?

Hmm.

Sod the 'poor little him - been at work all day' shite. The OP clearly says that she has also been at work all day and the kids have been in holiday club. Why the fuck should she do it all?

OP, I think you should do what a PP has said. Agree set days he cooks and if he fails to do it, have a back up plan for the kids and do nothing for him at all.

We both work full time yet somehow meal planning and grocery shopping always falls to me. I nag him about it. He changes for one week then is back to his normal self who never thinks about what the family will eat for dinner

Sit down on Sunday with the calendar and a pen. Agree what days you’re cooking and plan your meals. He suggests for his days, sorts out what ingredients needed. Take turns shopping or internet delivery planned at the same time.

He knows it’s shit but if you enable it he’ll keep on.

If he's not reliable for getting home on time and you have young dc who can't wait, why not give him other jobs to do instead.

I do 98% of the cooking but dh does all the washing and ironing instead. I clean the bathrooms but dh does all the hoovering and so on.

Just start cooking for yourself and the kids. Full stop. If he protests tell him you're on strike and will only cook for those that pull their own weight

If you want him to cook half the time then you need to decide days with him. Otherwise decide who does which jobs so they take up equal amounts of time. But yanbu to expect him to do half the household stuff.