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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think I should want more than this?

19 replies

BigBaboons · 11/07/2019 20:35

Have been in a relationship with someone for 4 months. I’m really starting to fall for him but there have been some things he’s done that have made me wonder if I should end it before getting any more serious with him. AIBU to list them and get some opinions please?

I feel like sometimes he doesn’t enjoy spending time with me. Like for instance last week when I’d gone over to his house to see him, I’d been there a few hours and he started saying to me you look really tired go home if you want. I was saying I’m ok and wanted to stay a bit longer. About an hour later he just said you look tired let me call you a taxi and pretty much rushed me out the door. I was feeling a bit like he was trying to get rid of me but appreciate he may have been looking out for me?

I’d asked him to come over to mine one day, he said he was busy packing and would let me know when he’d be finished to come over. He never ended up coming over saying he’d been too busy packing - this was 6 hours later, does it take anyone 6 hours to pack a case for a week away?

We’d arranged to meet up one day, I’d said text me when your ready and we can sort a time out. It got to the afternoon and he hadn’t text me so I ended up texting to see if we were still meeting up. We hadn’t seen each other for 2 weeks then because he’d been away so I was expecting him to be a bit keener about meeting up.

He got me nothing for my birthday when we’d been together for 3 months. He was away when it was my birthday but nothing was mentioned about doing anything before or after together.

He made another excuse to finish a date early once which I’ve never been sure of - that he had to take a delivery of furniture in for his Mum so had to be back home at 8pm. Does furniture get delivered that late usually? This and a few other things have made me feel like he doesn’t always want to spend time with me but I don’t know if I’m being overly suspicious.

AIBU in thinking he’s not really that into me or us being together? Or is it early enough still for it to be that he’s not yet as committed to me and I’m maybe expecting?

OP posts:

CrazyAllAroundMe · 11/07/2019 20:38

I think you know the answer here.
You want and are worth more than this.

Xyzzzzz · 11/07/2019 20:38

I’d cool it off and see what happens.

Dexterslockedintheshedagain · 11/07/2019 20:43

You may think you're in a relationship - I'm sorry to say it doesn't seem like he feels the same way.
Cut your losses now, before you fall any harder for him. He's really not worth it.

WishIWasABaller · 11/07/2019 20:54

Doesn't sound like he's into you like how you are into him.
I'd end the relationship, you deserve better and you know it. If you have a feeling somethings not right, then it's probably not.

wheelywheelynice · 11/07/2019 21:04

He's not keen, dump him before he dumps you, it will feel a bit less painful that way

Original poster

BigBaboons · 11/07/2019 21:08

Thanks everyone, that’s what I’ve thought. I’ve had a niggling feeling over the last 2 or 3 weeks that it’s not been right and he’s not that into it, but you know how it is when you want it to work and want to be wrong. I’ll have a talk with him about it tomorrow.

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 11/07/2019 21:13

I wouldn't waste my time talking about it. He's being very clear and he's not into you and/or being in a relationship in general. Move on to brighter days and a man who will treat you properly.

Thirtyysomething · 11/07/2019 21:25

If my friend had asked for my opinion on this situation (I.e. if she was you), I would say don’t talk to him about it, because he will deny or make excuses. The relationship is so new so try backing off (I.e. don’t text or call) and see what he does, it he starts chasing then might make him realise what he’s got, if not then you had a lucky escape!

Summertimeatthebeach · 11/07/2019 21:32

A talk sounds potentially embarrassing....

Tallgreenbottle · 11/07/2019 21:34

You're not 'together' OP. You're barely even dating. And it sounds like he wants you out when he has someone else coming over.

NewMe2019 · 11/07/2019 21:41

I've been seeing someone for 6 months and it's nothing like this and never has been. We can't get enough of each other, can't wait to spend time together and miss each other when we don't see each other for a few days.

It does sound like he isn't that bothered. You are worth more than that OP.

Original poster

BigBaboons · 11/07/2019 21:43

Why embarrassing @Summertimeatthebeach ?

OP posts:

roothyb · 11/07/2019 21:47

I agree. He's made it extremely clear he is not interested in you. Don't contact him again. He probably won't try initiate contact with you. What a dickhead of a man btw.

MeanMrMustardSeed · 11/07/2019 21:50

What on Earth are you starting to fall for?

Parrakeet · 11/07/2019 21:54

Naah, he's just not "that into you". Cut it off

Pinktinker · 11/07/2019 21:58

He’s really not that into you, sorry OP.

Sunshine93 · 11/07/2019 21:58

I wouldnt talk to him. He's unlikely to tell you to your face that he's not interested. If he continues doing what he's doing he gets the sex but keeps you at arm's length so he will probably say something to appease you.

Personally i would just cool it, not text or ring and see how he responds.

thetimekeeper · 11/07/2019 21:59

What are you getting out of this?

Sunshine93 · 11/07/2019 22:00

it sounds like he wants you out when he has someone else coming over.

I thought this too.

No-one spends 6 hrs packing but they might spend 2 hrs packing and 4 hrs with their girlfriend.

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