In expecting friend to be more sensitive?

[OnlyReasonablyUnreasonable]

I've been through a lot the past couple of years with recurrent miscarriage, my best friend knows all about this and has been a good listener, as we both have been for each other throughout our lives.

However, as much as I love her it really gets to me that she only seems sensitive to the situation whilst we're talking about it. Once we stop she will, for example quite happily send me screen shots of other people's pregnancy announcements in a 'oh look who's pregnant!' kind of way. It's hard enough seeing this shit on social media, I don't really direct picture updates to my phone as well. To be honest, I usually hide people on social media who announce a pregnancy so I don't have to watch it unfold.

A few times she has made joking comments about how she keeps forgetting her contraceptive so is probably going to end up pregnant or saying things like 'I think I'm having pregnancy symptoms' etc...

She is my best friend and if she was genuinely pregnant I'd be happy for her and support her but AIBU to wish she'd stop with the unnecessary stuff?

I'm on anti depressants because of this situation and am in a really horrible place which she knows.

I honestly think if it was the other way round I'd think to myself 'do I really need to send this to X or can I discuss it with someone else'.

I can't tell anymore if I'm being selfish and unreasonable or whether I'm right to be annoyed so leaving it to the MN jury!

YANBU.

My friend has had recurrent miscarriages including a late miscarriage earlier this year. I have four DC including a baby but I always try to be as sensitive as possible. I tend to not talk about them very much, I don’t want to trigger her in any way. I have had miscarriages though so unsure whether it’s something you need to experience in order to fully empathise. I definitely wouldn’t mention other people’s pregnancy announcements and such!

You need to tell her it’s upsetting you, she may have no idea.

You need to tell her it’s upsetting you, she may have no idea

I think I will. I just hate confrontation

You don't have to have a confrontation, if you word it properly. Make it about your issue, rather than what she is doing IYSWIM. You don't have to tell her she's being insensitive- unless you want to/want an apology. But if you just want it to stop you could just frame it as a new request.

I've been there my love and it sucks big time.

I'll never forget a picture text from my dad directly to me by name introducing his "first grandchild" to me soon after my loss. His second wife's grandson so not the same anyway. I do believe that really, genuinely didn't see the connection between what I'd JUST been through and him sending it to me. Unreal.

It was a huge gutpunch and I waited a couple of days composing a message that wasn't accusatory and made it clear I knew there was no malice on his part but that I simply couldn't deal with baby news at the moment, I didn't even go into him calling them his first grandchild!

Write a message that is as lovingly neutral as possible - there's no excuse for malice but if she's been a good friend to you otherwise then she's probably just being totally blinkered rather than Nasty.

Once you've explained how you feel about it, if she doesn't tone down this behaviour then you may have to part ways with your head held high.

Sorry for your loss

Sympathy OP.
This will sound ridiculous but before I got pregnant I was pretty naive to how big a deal it all was. I mean clearly miscarriage is an awful thing but I didn't really realise how deep the emotions would be. I'm assuming she is similar!
You need to tell her.

YANBU.