AIBU/WWYD maternity leave/ideal job conflict

[ZazuMoon]

Hello all,

I've worked at my job for two years. I really liked working in one department, but was offered a permanent contract with another department last year and took it.

The department I'm with has been a challenge- lots of difficulties with the management of my pregnancy and really overworked at times. Disclosure of my pregnancy to the dept without my consent (at just over 12 weeks!) as one example. Trying to stop me taking more than 4 months' maternity. A very male dominated culture. All the time I have done some cross over work with the old dept and wished I worked there but told no contracts as budget cuts.

I'm giving birth in 5 weeks and have been told there would be a contract for me at my favoured department but they need me shortly after giving birth. I would probably have 3 months at most of maternity, if that. If I stick with my current dept I have been told I would only be working them in future.

AIBU to turn this down/WWYD?

Should have made this a "employer being CF" thread for traffic....

Negotiate...if they want you that badly then they can wait.

In my experience if you don't ask, you don't get. You may be feeling vulnerable right now but they don't need to know you are...

Thank you. I'll give it a go and see.

Is this your first child? I don't think 3 months is long enough unless you are very part-time going back; perhaps negotiating part-time hours would be the compromise. The few mums I know who went back to work that early seemed to find it particularly hard to be away from the baby, and if you're breastfeeding then you'll need to at least combi-feed to make it work at that age, just because unless you have an over-supply you'll probably struggle to express enough milk when the baby is going through growth spurts while you aren't with it. Who would look after your baby, would dad be part-time too? Would there be similar opportunities you could apply for in other companies at a time that suits you better?

Maybe worth thinking about this a little more on the long term picture. What sort of hours do you plan to do with either role?
if its quite a bit of hours then maybe your "ideal job" would be the better move to have a happier balance overall.
As a mum you will naturally feel a level of guilt over whatever decisions you make. if its right for you then going back after 3 months would be tough but again - look at the long term picture - you have your child for the rest of your life.
I only had 2 weeks maternity leave (would wish it on anyone) due to circumstances at the time. My DS did not suffer for it.
Please do what feels best for YOU and ditch the guilt as much as you can, its a wasted area of energy xx

*wouldn't wish....

Sounds like they’re trying to manipulate you into taking less maternity leave, current dept wants you to take less than four months then old dept offers you a job if you only take three?!

I would stick with your current role, take maternity leave and look for jobs in a different company altogether before the end of your leave tbh.

Thanks everyone. First child and having a c-section as I have a neurological condition so that makes the recovery time less predictable. I think I'm just going to negotiate on the basis I'm no worse off.

@MRex no, dad full-time and I was hoping to go back part-time.

@WildAngel thank you as I suspect I will suffer mum guilt no matter what!

They can't force you to be off for less than the full maternity leave allowance. This could I suppose be a condition with the new job - is it really a new job though if employed by the same company? They sound pretty crap to work for anyway! Hope you figure it out

Your maternity cannot be too the detriment of your employment, this is enshrined in law please speak to a union rep or acas before you negotiate anything. Your employers don't sound like a female friendly organisation

*to

Sounds like blatant manipulation to me. I would accept the new job, sign the contracts (if relevant) and then take however much ML you want. There is nothing they can do to limit your allowances! You can literally walk out the door at the start of ML saying "see you in 3 months" and send an email the day after the baby is born saying "Have decided to take full allowance. See you in 12 months" - and there's Sweet FA they can do about it

@TheHandsOfNeilBuchanan interestingly it's a sector that everyone would think is maternity friendly but absolutely isn't.

@Percypigparade it would be a completely different role doing what I enjoy on a secure contract which is a rarity in this sector.