To think he should be the one to move out?

[whattodoandhow]

I recently asked my H of 9 years to move out for a trial seperation (it's been coming a long time), neither of us are happy and it's resulting in a lot of arguments and a very hostile atmosphere which isnt good for DS who is 14mo or my MH. I earn a lot more than him so generally pay all the bills and the mortgage and he pays for DS nursery (2 days) and food shopping. To cut a long story short he has refused saying that he has nowhere to go (he has his parents although that would inconvenience him for getting to work and make his commute longer). In order for me to sort things out properly and make a decision I really need this break so I am taking DS to my parents house, but this isn't fair on my parents long term, not to mention disrupts DS routine. He can't afford to keep the house whereas if needed I can and if pushed and we split up I will be able to buy out his share, AIBU to think that it would be easier if he was the one to leave?

The person who cares for the child/children usually stays in the house, as it's easier for the other partner to find accommodation.

However, in your shoes I'd probably stay with my parents until it's sorted out, otherwise the stress will be enormous.

It's all very well for people to say 'don't pay the bills' but it might impact on your credit rating later on. Don't credit companies go by the address?

Is it going to be a trial split with a view to getting back together or a trial split with a view to making it permanent? From your post I assume the latter.

As the instigator I would expect you to be the one to leave. However you have valid reasons not to. Just as he has valid reasons not to leave - does he agree to a trial separation?

Personally I would seek legal advice as moving forward, this has the potential to get messy. And I would look into what the housing situation is. You may well pay the mortgage, but the house is likely to be an asset of the marriage. Your husband wouldn't be expected to just walk away with nothing.