To be happy in a tiny rented house

[Stripyseagulls]

I live in a tiny rented house with my family. Life has meant that I havent so far been able to buy my own house (that might change but not right now)

I feel under almost constant pressure from family (my mother is hyacinth bucket) and society in general to upsize, to have a big house with a big garden & to fill it with more stuff.

I have realised recently that I don’t need to keep up with the Joneses- I actually don’t give a shit- and that I don’t need to upgrade my life all the time.

Having a tiny house has meant we live simply and put our evergy into having adventures and I full life. I actually don’t want to spend every weekend polishing ornaments in my 4 reception rooms and actually we can’t afford to have a big house.

Aibu to just feel tired of the constant pressure? It’s like you are a failure in life if you don’t have a big house (that’s the message hyancinth gives me daily) - I just want to have a nice happy life without feeling like i am less because I don’t have a new kitchen etc.

Aibu?

I think one of the keys to happiness is contentment and you sound very content

Forget about others, they're projecting their feelings of inadequacy onto you

Well clearly you know the answer to this, so why post.

You can't afford a bigger house. You're happy where you are. Tell your mother that.

It’s true- Hyacinth & societal pressures often don’t let me be content tho if you know what I mean

I've never understood the allure of big houses. A person is, on average, 6foot by 2 foot, they only take up so much space, so why spend 90%of your life paying for a house you fill 1% of? Illogical.

@teaandbiscuits89
We don't live in a big house (3 bed Georgian end of terrace) and we don't drive a fancy car.
Our house needs quite a bit of work but it's perfectly liveable (especially now DD is older) We are constantly badgered by family and friends as to why we haven't started the building work yet (we have PP to move the bathroom upstairs but the current victorian kitchen/bathroom has no foundations so all need knocking down and re-building).. or why we don't upgrade the car- money isn't really an issue- but if it isn't broke why fix it? To be honest dropping 100k and living in dust with no running water for 4 months doesn't really sound appealing.
I like it just the way it is.

You do you. your house sounds lovely to me.

Thank you for posting OP!

You sound just like me in some ways!

I get the constant pressure from my parents, especially my mother, that I'm somehow less of a person because we don't own our home.

Also, that my DH is somehow not worthy of me as he has not "pulled his finger out" and bought me a house

Guess I should've married a multi-millionaire then, dear mother

He's a wonderful DH and father to our 2 children

We are hoping to buy in the next 12 months, and have had a couple of purchases fall through, so we should get there eventually.

Even though the place we buy will probably be too small for our needs ie 2 bedroom instead of 3

YANBU!

It's like you're some sub species if you've not got yourself into the position to buy and are still renting (the horror!)

If you're happy, and it sounds like you are, stay put! Ignore what your mother says. I too live in a 2 bed terrace and I love my home! It sounds like you have your priorities straight

Happily living within your means is absolutely one of the best things you can do for yourself and your family. Anyone who thinks you should incur debt or live under financial strain simply to meet arbitrary societal expectations is an idiot. Spending money you don’t have to impress people you don’t know or even like is a recipe for disaster in more than one area of life!

also think how much time you save not dusting/hoovering extra rooms and scrubbing extra toilets.

Even if I won the lottery I wouldnt buy a big house, we have a garage conversion and even thats an extra room we dont really need or use....in fact its just got crap in it that we would have kept in the garage!

You’re happy and that is the only thing that matters. Your mum can live in the biggest place she wants if she likes.

I don’t live in a massive house - 3 bed but actually 2.5 for all the space it actually has! - but was massively relieved to move from our previous two up two down. More so because the quaint old features were fine when it was just me and dp but impossible to baby proof against kamakazi toddlers! This feels big enough for the three of us.

Is your Mum my Mum?

We have a perfectly lovely 3-bed semi, my Mum keeps sending me links to 4-beds in the area that are about twice the size and twice the effort.

Na ty.

When I divorced I had to downsize but now I have no mortgage, a small cute house I own and a new, nice husband.
I don’t miss the big house. It’s not the size and status that’s important. The people make the place- you sound like you know what’s important in life.
Plus all the cleaning drove me nuts.

YNBU we currently rent a council house three bed tiny gardens and little to no storage, constantly being told we need a four bedroom house with a huge garden and that our little girl is going to suffer if we don't move 🙄. It's ridiculous, I'm not going to put myself into debt to please other people, we'll be buying sometime next year but that's purely and simply so we have something to leave our child and are currently in talks about buying the house we already live in. Tell Hyacinth if it's a problem to stop visiting 🤦🏼‍♀️

I have the same. We rent a small flat in a nice area off family. Constant hounding pressure off family and snide comments about 'when we have our own home'.

It's really taught me not to interfere with what other people are doing. It must be exhausting worrying about other people's lives all the time.

My DM is terrible - spends most of her day twitching the curtains or talking about people on the phone.

I'm quite happy as I am but it does make me feel more of a 'failure' as that's clearly how people see me. I'm kind, good fun, have lots of friends etc but I'm worthless because I don't own property.