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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel sad that DS will be at nursery on his first birthday?

37 replies

Mozfan · 10/07/2019 22:07

I’m back at work in September and his first birthday falls on a Thursday, a day that both me and his dad are at work. So he’ll be spending it at nursery.
We’re planning on having a little tea party with close friends and family on the Saturday.

I just feel a bit sad about it.

OP posts:
SarahAndQuack · 10/07/2019 22:46

It'll be fine! I honestly cannot remember what we did on DD's first birthday and it's only just over a year ago. Plus it's not as if you won't see him, is it? It'll be just like all of his birthdays would have to be from age 4/5 onwards - if it's a school day, he'll be in school.

PetraRabbit · 10/07/2019 22:46

It's disappointing and understandable you're upset, but your DC is far too young to know. If it were me, I'd go to work as scheduled and celebrate at the weekend.

Xmasbaby11 · 10/07/2019 22:48

I've had to work both dds first birthdays and did feel a little sad, but we celebrated after work and did something bigger at the weekend.

SparkyBlue · 10/07/2019 22:49

I felt really upset the day of my daughters first birthday as I was at work but to be fair I hated my job so I think I was emotional wondering what was I doing in this stupid place instead of being with her. We had a party at the weekend with family and still had a birthday dinner at home with cake just ourselves on the actual day plus she had a little party in the baby room at daycare. I can totally understand OP as I found it brought up so many emotions.

REllenR · 10/07/2019 22:52

My eldest was at nursery for her first birthday. We celebrated another day (she had no idea) and nursery made a big fuss of her. It's natural to be disappointed though. Matters a little more when they're older and really excited!

Tallgreenbottle · 10/07/2019 22:52

I had a traumatic birth so I've made an effort on DS's birthdays to try and cancel those feelings out. Birthdays are a big deal in my family and DS is lucky his will always be during the holidays too.

Maryann1975 · 10/07/2019 23:03

I think this is one of the crap things teachers have to deal with. You may get 13 weeks (or how ever many) holiday a year, but you don’t get to choose when they are and that’s really hard if there is something you want to do during term time. As crap as it is (and I think it is crap, I’m not being sarky, so please don’t think I am), you have to get over it and focus on the good things. You and your dp can finish early (which isn’t an option in some jobs) and pick your dc up at 4 and then have a lovely tea/outing. You can also plan to do something at the weekend and you will have lots of time in the holidays to do special things with your dc, which lots of parents don’t get. (I do also appreciate that you will have work to do over the holidays, but teacher friends seem to be able to plan around their dc to get this done in the holidays.

FWIW, I’m a childminder and some parents send their dc on their birthdays. Some through choice, some because they can’t get leave, the babies have no idea it’s their birthday but we generally make it lovely and have a little cake and sing, have some balloons or bubbles to make it a bit more special.

NeverGotMyPuppy · 10/07/2019 23:13

OP I'm exactly the same - my DS's first is on a Friday in September and I teach. It sucks.

PrincessLouis · 10/07/2019 23:15

I am a working mum of school age children. I totally understand how you feel. However the crucial point is your child doesn’t know what day is his birthday. He will have a brilliant day with you at the weekend. Forgive yourself on this one, you sound like an ace mum Flowers

CloserIAm2Fine · 10/07/2019 23:28

YANBU to be sad about it but YWBU to ring in sick as a PP suggested!

He’s a baby, he won’t know it’s his birthday. Celebrate at the weekend when you’re both off work, and try not to feel guilty about it, because it really won’t matter to him

Noodledoodledoo · 10/07/2019 23:43

I was in the same situation, teacher and first birthday was a work day. Plus Open Evening so a late night! I did manage to escape early from open evening but a bit pointless as she was already in bed.

I was more upset and she obviously was compeltely unaware! We had a big party at the weekend!

Pinktornado · 11/07/2019 16:33

I understand. I never realised how much children’s birthdays mean to their parents until I had my own DS (sorry, mum!). I will forever celebrate his birthday for the 36+ hours I was in bloody pain labouring in a hospital, soon followed by the biggest joy and elation I’d ever felt and the realisation that my life had changed forever. Of course he’ll get to celebrate his birthday too Wink

Fingers crossed you get to spend the day with him and if not, do something lovely for you in the evening.

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