To feel let down by my sister

[sillycat72]

I guess you will all probably think I am but I can't help it .

She is with a controlling, manipulative guy, slowly she has pulled away from me and my dcs, her niece and nephew it hurts so much. I've tried to reach out, offer help and support but she either ignores me or continues to moan about him. I haven't seen her now for over 2 years. I get the odd text but that's it our parents are dead so there is no one else.
We used to see each other every Xmas but no more. She always was flakey but it's obvious to me this guy is influential.
I know everyone is going to shout at me and say I should be helping her not feeling let down, that's it's not her fault it's his but whereas I know all this I still feel let down.
I've been in a abusive relationship and it's awful and very hard to escape but I found the strength to get out and I didn't forget her. Everyone I know is going to feel sorry for her and well I did but I'm just starting to feel resentful. She want my help or support she doesn't want me or my dcs I feel sad

I am so sorry that you're going through this, especially since your parents are no longer with you.

You are not being unreasonable to feel let down- It's natural, she's your sister and you miss her.

But, as you say, escaping domestic abuse (emotional or physical) can be very hard- your sister might not be there yet.

You've offered support but you can't make her accept it. The most you can do is to let her know that you will always love her, and will be there waiting to support her if/when she wants to leave him. In the meantime, concentrate on building lovely memories with your dcs and try to make time to care for yourself.

Wishing you and your sister all the luck in the world.

This is what I mean though, I've offered support etc she doesn't want it, nothing I can do about that till she's ready! But what about me I need support sometimes too, I've had a hell of a year and really needed her. My husband nearly died, I've had awful things happen which I don't want to go into she knew but did or said nothing, it just seems so unfair.