Waiting for a friend. Just need a rant to let off some steam.

[Saffy101]

I offered to cook, she said, can I come over at 5pm, we can have a chat first. She is really late I eventually got hold of her at 6.30 and she apologised as she had gone to sleep on the sofa. I can't help but be annoyed as she is ALWAYS really late and its getting on my nerves....

Thanks for the rant. Hope she arrives soon..... Should I tell her she needs to mend her ways or keep quiet for the sake of friendship?

I'd call her out on it. Especially if it's not a one off!

Depends how good a friendship I'd say.

I'd be very tempted to say forget it and order myself a takeout or cook whatever. If she was knackered and it was a one off, fine, we all fuck up sometimes. But frequently late is basically not really giving a damn about inconveniencing others.

Two hours is a piss take

I hate when people are late, especially if it's the norm for them. I'd be careful though how you say it - if you feel annoyed now it might come out wrong. Maybe park it until tomorrow? enjoy evening anyway

I had a friend like this. Always such stupid excuses and made you feel as if you were being sensitive for calling her out on it.

Get rid

If you want to remain friends but also want this to stop then you need to stop agreeing to her arriving late.

So she's an hour and a half late? So say sorry but it's too late for you now.

I had a friend like this. In fact we are still friends but not that close. She was completely unable to prioritize, so say she had to head to work, she'd have a list of things she had to get done before going, laundry and things like that. She was unable to believe that they weren't all vital so she did her list in order and fully no matter how long it took...I remember her being sacked from her first few graduate jobs due to daily lateness that could run into hours.
She was a nightmare. We could tell her the wrong time to meet us and she'd still be late. In the end she missed a flight for our group holiday and was sent upset that we went without her that the friendship never really recovered though we are still in touch.
I still get stressed thinking about it.
In her case it was teamed with a lot of other unusual behaviours which indicated mental health issues. We were too young and self-absorbed to be upfront that she needed help at the time. I suppose she adapted somehow because she's had the same job for years now.
I've gone off on a tangent but in your position if this is a regular thing, as it appears to be, I'd have to say something or cool the friendship.

Tell her she's missed dinner and make her a cup of tea instead.

I carry on regardless with people like this. If I was cooking I'd still cook, and eat mine whether they're there or not.

@Saffy101

YANBU!

Sorry but I have very little patience with people who are late ALL THE TIME, like their time is so much more important than yours.

It's rude and arrogant and selfish and does NOT show the person to be a good friend.

Bin.

Ghost.

Block.

I would only make plans with a back up in place and I'd start letting her know too. I stick to a 20min window (excepting them getting in touch about something specific) then just cracking on without them. It is so rude to be regularly leaving someone dangling like that.

Yeah that would really annoy me too.
In future don't ever bank on her turning up on time, don't go out of your own way unless it suits you etc.
I had a friend who just completely forgot we were meeting one day. Id changed my days off at work to match hers just so I could meet her. Didn't hear from her that morning so text, rang etc then she didn't even ring back but texted a while later saying she forgot and had other stuff to do! No apology or explanation of what was more important. She is no longer my friend.

I hate lateness. Especially when they can't even be bothered to phone or text and just leave you waiting. it is so rude and suggests that their time is more important than yours.

I'd let her come over if it's not too late but I certainly wouldn't be cooking for her now.

If it's a genuine one off let it go but if it's a regular occurrence then I'd have to say something. It would drive me mad.

Oh yay! Yet another “late people are sooooo rude” thread.🙄

OP, if you know she’s always late, why expect her on time?

Just tell her it pisses you off. No need to get so worked up about it.

@Yabbers

If this thread held no interest for you, then why bother clicking on it?

Ya know what pisses me off almost as much as CONSTANTLY LATE people.... ??? People who post on a thread just to bitch about the content of the thread, whilst offering NO constructive advice or help.

Jog on.

Tell her
Consistent lateness is so rude.

You're one of these persistently late people aren't you yabbers?

I have had a few friends like this. Didn't matter what time we as a group asked her to meet, she was always late. Once she had the nerve to be angry that we went into the cinema without her even though she was told when the film started.

I've learned to only invite her
to things where it doesn't matter if she's late, or sometimes cancel.

People who post on a thread just to bitch about the content of the thread, whilst offering NO constructive advice or help.

Oh the irony. You can just scroll past and ignore. But perhaps if complete strangers on the internet enrage you to the point you have to respond with shouty caps, the internet isn't the place for you, dear.

I advised the OP to tell her friend if it passed her off.

You're one of these persistently late people aren't you yabbers?

Not generally, not when it is in my control not to be. But I have persistently late people in my life and the world is a whole lot easier if you recognise it and adjust accordingly. I don't waste my time judging or getting angry at them if I can't change it.

What bothers me is, people are so irate and judgy about people being late and sometimes in my life it can't be helped. Nobody stops to think that people have things in their life that make them late. It doesn't make them bad people but according to MN they are the lowest of the low.

I had a friend like this. Turned out she had anxiety and depression which meant just getting out the door was an ordeal. She also missed meetings due to falling asleep.

So my advice is to tread carefully, maybe something else is going on.

Wow, so many votes...AND so much advice, thank you!

Well she was exactly 2 hours late. I congratulated her and told her it was her new record, but she did apologise profusely and we did laugh it off.....again!

BedgraggledBlitz you are correct she does have some problems at the moment but - still we all have our limits.

Brainfrying and Marvellousnight I think I might take up your idea next time, or something similar. Maybe eat mine when its "nice" and allow hers to spoil as much as possible until her arrival.

Thanks to everyone I have calmed down now and as she is having problems will give her a chance. Nice to have your replies, helps the blood pressure!!! : ) I am a stickler for time keeping and don't understand repeated lateness.

I have anxiety as well and I think late people make me even more aware of that!