Hate getting my photo taken

[Dippypippy1980]

I have just arrived home form a lovely family holiday, but I am fuming with my dad.

This may sound petty but I hate getting my photo taken, absolutely hate it. My dad kept snapping away at me even when I said I didn’t like it and asked him to stop. This has been going on for about twenty years. He always rolls his eyes and obviously thinks I am being completely unreasonable.

I will sit for family pictures at dinner or with the children but don’t like being snapped by the pool etc.

I actually caught my dad taking sneaky pictures, he thought he was being really cleaver by holding his camera at a funny angle and looking in the other direction.

It made me so cross one night I cried.

Should I just suck it up - or is he being unreasonable in not respecting my wishes??

I agree with you, apart from the tears, I went for unlimited option of rage and fury....

Solution = toilet camera, camera toilet, splash, flush!

Oops.

Though this was back in the good old days of cheap Kodak film cameras.

I hate getting my photo taken. I exude troll under a bridge vibes in every photo ever taken of me.

I used to be like this, it’s worse for me because I’m part of the snapchat generation, with people constantly take photos and having the audacity to post them online!

I genuinely look a bit ugly from certain angle (eg mid speaking) this year

Sorry posted too soon, I used to genuinely look vile from certain angles but now that I’ve had filler and haves fixed up a bit, I don’t mind photos as much

I hate it too - so it was particularly ironic for SIL to ask that I went from her daughter's wedding straight to the reception without my DH and DC (and with no-one I knew) as they did not want me in the photos because I was not a blood relative. We didn't get as far as checking whether the adopted children were also excluded - we just sent a large cheque and gave it a miss. They were so offended they haven't spoken to us since (mind you they still cashed the cheque)

Yanbu. How annoying, I'd be tempted to break his camera.
I hate getting a photo too, but random clicking would send me into a rage.

I hate photos too. Absolutely.

Your dad probably thinks of you as his beautiful little girl still, and can't understand why you wouldn't like photos. He probably thinks you're perfect so why wouldn't you want your picture taken.
Maybe explain to him, as you have done here, just how much you dislike it. And that you're not joking.

Thanks all - I was starting to feel like a moody ungrateful teenager.

I have told him I don’t like it - he is the type who thinks he knows best and ignores others feelings if he doesn’t agree with them. When my sister had post natal depression his solution was to tell her to cheer up - repeatedly. Then tell her quite crossly to snap out of it - he told us he knows who to handle it. My sister had to ask for him to stop visiting. Even then he didn’t twig that he hadn’t handled the situation well.

But I will try again

I've never actually typed this before, let alone explained to anyone fully but I sympathise with your post so much I am going to give it a crack!

I hate having my photo taken. However I am not sure this sentence does justice to the cold panic I feel when I see a mobile phone being lifted in readiness to snap a pic. Or the absolute blind horror of being invited to a wedding cos all I can think about is the photographer who will be WALKING AROUND TAKING PICS ALL DAY. Even typing this has elevated my heart rate a bit.

When I have no choice but to have a photo taken, and if someone does that awful, dreadful thing of trying to show it to me, I have a really strong flight response. I am just gone. It has caused me huge embarrassment on many occasions and people are left quite puzzled and concerned. I have left nights out early and cried on my sisters hen do. I have absolutely no photos of myself with my son, nor in my house, nor on my phone. My sister is amazingly supportive of me and hasn't put any wedding pics featuring me up, in her house. I am pathetically grateful to her for this.

I have two close friends to whom I have explained how photos make me physically feel. Both said they dont understand it but fully respect it. But, most people completely ignore my very clear requests not to be included in photos ("oh I hate photos too dont worry!!") and for no photo of me to ever be uploaded to the internet. I find this staggeringly rude. One person uploaded photo after photo of me (just me, no one else) at a party last year and tagged me in despite repeated requests not to. I messaged her and asked her to remove them, which she did. She commented sadly that she just wanted photos of me. I just don't know if her desire to have photos of me should take priority over my desire to remain unphotographed!

I hate feeling this way but have no idea how to overcome it. I am now overweight and have always struggled with looking at my face in a mirror. I have lost weight recently but feel exactly the same. I am almost surprised when people from my past recognise me as I almost have no real idea of what I look like.

That was a bit of a download, sorry. But it's just so rude of people not to respect your wishes in favour of their own needs. Fuck em.

Gravel face I totally empathise. People are so dismissive of my wishes and it makes me really cross.

I went to a friends fortieth recently and she hired a photographer. I told him not to take my picture, he almost saw it as a challenge and followed me about the dance floor snapping. I went home.

It is so incredibly rude to dismiss others wishes - and the attitude of some people really makes me angry.

YANBU.

I've hated photographs of myself for the past 20 years. When I was a teenager my dad sometimes took them anyway, despite how upset I'd get. He thought this would help me 'get over it' but it only increased my aversion because I further associated photos with my wishes being ignored and disrespected by someone with more power than me.

Now I'll usually leave the room when a camera comes out. At weddings I spend most of my time sitting in corners or outside with the smokers.

Even if someone doesn't understand why you don't like photos, or doesn't agree that you look bad in them, it's incredibly rude for them not to respect you saying no. Family or not.

I used to feel like that and there's a large gap in years where I'm not in any photos. When my mil died and we were sorting out her stuff we loved looking through all the old photos. When we were all seperating to go back to far flung parts of the country where we all lived I insisted on photos. There was the usual 'dont like to be in photos' from the usual crew but as I said, these photos are all people will have of us when we've gone, they saw my point. How many of us have the odd rare photos of family and wish we had more? I wish I had photos from my teens/20s/30s but I haven't got many at all apart from the ones that were took unawares.

So now I grit my teeth. Still don't like it though.

Such an intrusion, I was once assaulted in this way, I picked up the camera later and deleted my photo, taken against my express wishes, but whoops, I accidently wiped the whole lot, clumsy me.

There was the usual 'dont like to be in photos' from the usual crew but as I said, these photos are all people will have of us when we've gone, they saw my point.

You sound almost proud of bullying people for your own benefit. Have you ever thought that they really didn't want photos?

I don't have any photos of me with my grandchildren, I wiped all the photos of me at our daughter's wedding off CDs that people sent and I look terrified on the official photos I was bullied to be in. Because of that experience I cannot think about the wedding without getting very upset, it really ruined the day for me.
You were very thoughtless but hey-ho they 'agreed' so that's all right isn't it.

Your dad is being unkind if you have told him you really dislike having photos taken.

I have phases of feeling unlovely in photos and try to stay out of shot as often as possible without being a party pooper. Summer is the worst time of year for this.

found this

I know of people who get funny about phones being bandied about, but I don't know anyone who cries about it; it must be quite debilitating for you!

My SIL hated having her picture taken. There is no pictures of her with her children when they were born, at special occasions, days out etc. Then she lost her mum, and she realised she didn't have a single picture of her together with her mum. And she was heartbroken. A family member managed to photoshop a picture to put them together, but it wasn't the same. Now she tries to make a conscious effort. I can see when I take one that she really doesn't want to be on it, but she does it for the kids, and to ensure the memories are captured. Whilst I appreciate they're off the cuff snaps in your case, they're memories all the same. I'd just probably ask they not be posted on social media if the picture isn't to your taste.

You sound almost proud of bullying people for your own benefit. Have you ever thought that they really didn't want photos

Actually one sil who's in her 70s now is in more photos now than I've ever seen her in since that day.

If you don't care that your great grandbairns wont know what you look like then that's your call. Memories fade. I'm not particularly arsed what you do

It's been nice to see there are other people who "get it".

At those pointing out there will be no pics of us after we are gone, I get that and wish I didnt feel.the way i do. But I do, and I cant actually seem to help it. It's a physical reaction. It's not a choice.

I love the people who smugly announce they know best and provide a story to prove how right they are. Perhaps a career in phobia counselling beckons????

I don’t think they have understood the purpose of this thread at all🙄.

However thanks to those who get it.

I'm the same OP! Annoyingly, over the last 10 years, my dislike has morphed into a full-on fear (awful traumatic event in childhood, where some took photos triggered it). If i do go to an event where people are snapping away, so as not to draw attention or make a fuss, I quietly move myself out of shot, nip to the loo, or offer to take the photo for group shots. I'm at the point now where I avoid weddings, christenings, birthday parties etc. because people cannot be trusted. They seem to think it's funny to take 'stealth' photos and plaster them everywhere. It's really upsetting at best, and at worst, unspeakably cruel.
I'm so sorry that your dad has been so mean
Maybe, when it's just the 2 of you, try gently broaching the subject with him? Let him know that you love him but tell him just how much what he is doing upsets you.
I'm super lucky that my friends know how much I hate photos and are really great at respecting that. It's really sweet that occasionally they'll discreetly ask if i want to be in a photo. This has helped me a lot - i'm now at a point where i'll hop into a group photo if i'm feeling brave - as long as I never see it and i'm not tagged in any social media. It's amazing how that little bit of compassion is helping me deal with my fear.

I do think this obsession of sticking everything on SM is a bit shit though. Photos and videos aren't private anymore. It has to be shared with the world. There isn't any need to put everything on facebook.

@gamerchick that's my main gripe, I do feel its reasonable to ask for any pics featuring me not to be uploaded and have had a few people disregard this which I do find a bit weird.

My mum took lots of photos of me with my baby son and told me she was not going to show me them but that they were unposed for pics, for him when he is older. I could almost live with that, ish. Had no choice though...

ladygrey genuinely, as I don't know, could some form of therapy help? Your reaction seems 'beyond normal', to be fair.