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AIBU?

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Original poster

To worry about toddler?

14 replies

momomia · 10/07/2019 18:21

Sorry in advance if this is long but I'm desperate for advice and don't want to leave anything out. Two year old toddler, had reflux as a baby and always been a bad sleeper. Wakes up several times a night etc, takes a long time to fall asleep

Since being able to sit she has done this rocking thing; she kind of tucks her legs underneath her and rocks back and forth. She gets a bit glazed eyes and in a trance but after a couple of minutes she is fine again! It's like she'll just suddenly drop and do it or she'll do it in her pram or high chair a lot. She does it a few times a day, occasionally when she's tired so we kind of attributed it to that or that it was her weird comfort thing and didn't want to make a big deal by telling her off or shaming her type thing.

Nursery have flagged it as a concern and said it's not 'normal' and that they wanted to observe her and refer her - I was upset but said ok and contacted children's centre to ask for advice as well they said it sounds fine and like it's her way of soothing

Today I picked her up - she's only in two days a week btw - and the manager said she had noticed other issues; she is 'obsessed' with pens apparently although I said she just loves colouring in and drawing and equally loves pencils and crayons etc. They also said she is never still even when asleep. She is constantly moving, almost twitching and they think it's odd. Finally she does this thing they've noticed where she scrunches up her fists and does a little whole body shake. She does all this at home too but I just don't know what to think. She's talking, counting, jumping, singing, says I love you and cuddles everyone, she's super interested in everything, loves running about and seems completely fine to me but nursery seem fixated on there being an issue.

Next week someone is coming in to observe her at nursery and I had to sign a form giving consent but I have no idea what to do. Is there something wrong? What? I feel like pulling her out of nursery now but don't know if it's a knee jerk reaction to their comments today. Has anyone had similar issues?

OP posts:
Halo1234 · 10/07/2019 18:37

No dont pull her out of nursery. It could be nothing (probably is) but what's the harm in letting her be observed and seeing if the expert can recommend ways to help her. Best doing it now whilst she is young. Hear what they say and then decide to either take it on board. Get a second opinion or carry on as you are. No harm in checking. U seem to be on the same page as the nursery in that u have noticed some of the things the mention too. Why would u take her out? They seem very observant and no reason to believe they dont have her best interests in mind. Xx

Mymomsbetterthanyomom · 10/07/2019 18:41

Totally agree!!
Fantastic advice❤

mamaoffourdc · 10/07/2019 19:13

Halo1234 has said exactly what you need to do - good luck x

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 10/07/2019 21:08

Sounds like they are being conscientious and thorough. In the event a child did need extra support, early intervention is so valuable. A relative of mine was observed as a toddler and identified he had some gross motor skill & balance issues (and a couple of other things) - it was identified, extra support provided and he caught up.

I wouldn't pull her out

NigesFakeWalkingStick · 10/07/2019 21:16

I wouldn't pull her out at all. You yourself have noticed some behaviours that you're unsure of, so why is it bad that nursery have? If I'm honest I'd be more comforted that they've noticed than feeling cross or confused about it.

I don't have any experience of what you're witnessing, but allow the observation to go ahead - whatever the result, you'll have some answers and some pointers if it is anything that needs picking up on, and the earlier the better.

WhatsInAName19 · 10/07/2019 21:22

If my daughter was going into these "trances" you describe then I would absolutely be having that investigated. The nursery are being sensible and vigilant. Whilst the other things such as being overly mobile, obsessing over colours etc might well be nothing, it's good that the nursery are spotting a potential pattern. I think it sounds like they are really on the ball.

Cymbalon · 10/07/2019 21:37

A few thIngs are really stand out for me as they sound very similar to symptoms DD and DGS experienced and which started around 10 months old. Both had severe silent reflex and then started this weird staring gaze combined with scrunched up fists and a strange shuddery whole body shaking. These episodes would last from between a few seconds to a minute or two. DGS was referred for an EEG to rule out infant seizures. That was clear and a diagnosis of Sandifer Syndrome was made. It’s caused by reflux and is a response to oesophageal pain/discomfort. It’s something that infants grow out of as reflux eases either with age or treatment.

Not sure about the obsession with pens but that could be just that she’s really into pens right now but I’d recommend recording some episodes of the shaking/staring/fist bunching as it might help give an idea to gp/paed gastroenterologist. With both DD and DGS the majority of their episodes were in the high chair (during or just after eating /feeding) and in pram.

Kb12 · 10/07/2019 21:53

Could that possibly be self gratification?

Kb12 · 10/07/2019 22:04

Just to elaborate I'm an A&E doctor. I would take as many videos as you can and show to GP. If you are referred to a neurologist they will need to see the videos too.

PotteringAlong · 10/07/2019 22:09

Why on earth would you pull her out? I would definitely want the trances investigates in case they’re seizures.

TheDarkPassenger · 10/07/2019 22:19

My friends little lad was doing all those things and we used to laugh at his little quirks then it just dawned on me one day in soft play and said maybe you should get him checked... he’d been having seizures and is now diagnosed epileptic Sad

The nursery seem really on the ball!

Cyrusc · 10/07/2019 22:37

I wouldn't worry too much OP, it'll only be a good thing to have her observed. A lot of what you describe reminds me of my DD. I too worried about her but it was fine. She has some mild sensory issues but nothing that holds her back in any which way. She's actually mostly grown out of those things (she's almost three) and is a bright, happy sociable child like your DD sounds x

Cherrysoup · 10/07/2019 22:38

Petit mal?

Original poster
momomia · 10/07/2019 22:49

Thank you for all the comments!

I don't think they are seizures - I think trance is the wrong word to be honest; she just gets very focused and will look at you or acknowledge you if you call her name or stop her. If I try to stop her she usually shouts at me or gets annoyed!

With the nursery, I meant more that every time there is something new and it's as if they want there to be a problem. Totally admit I'm precious about it all and she enjoys it so I won't actually pull her out but the thought of the staff thinking she's strange or talking about her makes me feel sad.

Self gratification is possible, it's why we didn't want to go down the telling her off route or shaming her for it if it's just a 'this feels nice/interesting' exploration type thing.

The reflux suggestion is interesting and I'll look into that so thank you xx

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