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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Wibu planning a party for this date

20 replies

Alfiesmom15 · 10/07/2019 13:56

My son will be 5 on the 5th January, hes been asking for a party for 2 years.... I've finally relented... trouble is they go back to school this year on the 6th January after the xmas holidays..... would you send your kids to a birthday party the day before starting a new term? Part will be 12 till 2.30 or thereabouts ..... also with the timing of it I am fully aware of financial differences.... how would I politely tell people to not worry about getting him a present (most people do dont they) and my son just wants his friends there. Without sounding presumptuous or ungrateful or anything lol

OP posts:

MyOpinionIsValid · 10/07/2019 14:02

You asume people will remember after 3 weeks off, that there is a party, many wont. Or will have backed on trips up country to see relatives.

I would defer it until the following weekend. Or indeed until after January payday. Not what you want to hear.

Gymbabes · 10/07/2019 14:02

I'd have no problem letting mine go the day before a new term - they'd be excited to see their friends etc but maybe send a reminder the evening before to those that have responded or rather than a reminder just something in disguise as some people might forget with all that goes on and having a break!

SilverDapple · 10/07/2019 14:04

A party the day before term starts wouldn't bother me at all.

fiorentina · 10/07/2019 14:04

I would have it a weekend later if you want to ensure more people can come. From experience getting replies prior to Christmas can be tricky as everyone is so busy, that way you can confirm numbers more easily when back at school?

TeenTimesTwo · 10/07/2019 14:05

People will forget or be away.
Have the party on the 12/13th instead.

bettybyebye · 10/07/2019 14:08

My DS went to a 6th birthday party the day before term started again in January this year. Not a problem at all and there was a good 30 kids from school there so I don’t think you should worry about people forgetting either!

AllFourOfThem · 10/07/2019 14:10

I’d be happy for mine to go to a party the day before.

Do you have a school class Facebook group? It might be a good idea to do a reminder on there over Christmas but I think most people are organised enough to remember things they have committed to and will have to accept or decline the best part of a month in advance due to the holidays.

applepieicecream · 10/07/2019 14:11

Wouldn’t occur to me not to

AllFourOfThem · 10/07/2019 14:12

People will forget or be away.
Why are you assuming people you don’t know will be disorganised enough not to put the details in the diary/calendar? Or do you think they all have an illness that means they cannot remember? I also think it’s very unlikely people will be away the afternoon before school starts.

MrsDimmond · 10/07/2019 14:13

I'd have family the day of his birthday and party the following weekend so invitations go out before the holidays and you have time to remind people when school starts.

Mordred · 10/07/2019 14:21

My DS was born on 5th Jan too, so we've sometimes had clashes with school re-starting after Christmas.

He's 12 now and over the years we've generally had a party on the closest weekend to the actual day, unless the day itself does fall on a weekend.

Mordred · 10/07/2019 14:22

Posted in haste - I meant the closest weekend AFTER the day itself.

ohhelloitsyou · 10/07/2019 14:25

I wouldn’t mind but if people make noises that they can’t turn up and you think the party will be a bit small, try the weekend after. Let the kid have a birthday party.

BrilliantYou · 10/07/2019 14:31

Would be fine with me. Getting together with friends and running off some energy to get back into the school term seems like a positive. Hopefully kids will be shattered and go to bed on time after the Xmas break!

I'd probably text to remind everyone a few days in advance or set up a Facebook/WhatsApp group for the party.

MatchSetPoint · 10/07/2019 14:38

How about having the party the week after, family party on the day and friends the week after?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 10/07/2019 14:42

surely the issue is people forgetting over the holidays- Id do it the weekend after.

ZillaPilla · 10/07/2019 14:49

I think it will be lovely. People have calendars!

As for presents, best not to say anything at all.

TheFrenchLieutenantsMonkey · 10/07/2019 14:57

My youngest DD will be 9 at the end of August. She's never had a party so we said she could have one. But because her birthday is in the end of the school holidays and people forget an invutation given to them 5 weeks before, we have had to go for a party at the end of September to accommodate people on holiday, tiredness of the first couple of weeks of school, getting invitations out that will be remembered (trying to book a DJ and a room that are free at The Same Time!) Have the party later in the month. Then he'll get presents after his birthday 😁

Disfordarkchocolate · 10/07/2019 15:08

I'd have been fine with that but you'll need to do reminders closer to the date.

AllFourOfThem · 10/07/2019 17:05

surely the issue is people forgetting over the holidays

I find it really concerning the number of people who seem to think having memory loss is normal and acceptable. The holidays are only three weeks (or two for state schools). Even if someone has a lot going on so worries they will need a reminder closer to the time, surely that is what a diary or calendar is for. And if someone’s memory is so poor they don’t remember to write it in their diary I’d suggest going to see a doctor.

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