When someone has treated you badly

[Chocolatefrog27]

NC and posting for traffic disclaimer!

So about a year or so ago I had a fling with someone from my workplace. Yes yes very silly I know, won't be making that mistake again!

He pursed me and it gradually escalated from workplace banter into an out of work relationship. But he turned out to be really vile. He was abusive, narcissistic, he humiliated me sexually. He would demand things and if I didn't do what he wanted he would abuse me, block me, ignore me for a bit and then carry on like nothing had happened. He was insanely jealous but it later came to light hed been seeing and sleeping with other women during our 'relationship'. When i did finally end it he was so disgusting to me with vile and threatening messages that I considered getting the police involved. In hindsight I have no idea why I went along with it for so long but he was manipulative and I wasn't in a great place mentally at the time. Even so I'm ashamed of myself for being sucked in by him.

Anyway it's all old news now. I am now in a great relationship and am very happy. But I still have to see this dickhead at work and even though we don't have any direct contact I just still feel such feelings of anger and disgust about how he treated me. He swans around work trying to be charming and professional and as much as I have no feelings for him I just can't get over how badly he treated me and how he deserves some comeuppance.

I'm just wondering what techniques other people have used to get over it and when someone has treated you badly, especially when you still have to regularly see them.

Anyone?

Not sure I can give any advice but wanted to say good for you for getting out of that relationship, for seeing him for the lowlife he is. You ditching him probably really annoyed him so get some satisfaction from that.

I don't think he would have been that bothered he clearly had no genuine feelings for me but maybe he did bump his ego a bit. I just feel very upset about what went on and it's hard to forget when you have to see someone regularly.

I'm really happy with my dp but it's just unresolved anger and annoyance that I didn't deal with it better

I got this with mil and i got this with another family member. Not the same thing but they both treated me really really badly and everyone elss just sort of .... didnt care. Or didnt want to take sides.

But both times i just held my tongue and carried on. And both times i had a barage of people complaining about their behaviour and i realised that nobody actually liked either of them! That was nice to know. So believe me. Nobody is actually as blind as they let on. I bet everyone knows that he is an arse. So take solice in that

I was in a similar position a few years ago, though we met through an online hobby group, of which we are both still members. He will not have liked being dumped and he will no doubt start trying to snake his way back into your affections. I completely ignore mine. I do not respond to ‘hilarious’ quips and do not rise to comments designed to get me to engage. A life well lived is the best revenge for people like that.