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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think women’s health issues aren’t taken seriously?

51 replies

Twowilldo50 · 10/07/2019 11:12

My 20 yo dd has very heavy periods lasting months at times. After investigation at hospital nothing “wrong” has been found. She’s tried a contraceptive injection which isn’t working, and is considering the mirena coil. I’ve never had heavy periods so don’t know what to advise but I feel she’s getting a bit of a “suck it up” attitude from our gp. It’s having a huge impact on her life.

OP posts:
Vibiano · 10/07/2019 11:14

YANBU, I have suffered for 15 years. No help from the medical profession.

Andromeida59 · 10/07/2019 11:38

Women's health is often ignored. I was misdiagnosed for three years with a "mystery" issue. Was told it was period pain even when not on period. It was a slipped disc. Fully believe that had I been male I would have been diagnosed immediately.

BreconBeBuggered · 10/07/2019 11:49

YANBU at all. It doesn't seem to get any better once you're older, either. I've seen elderly women told they should expect a few aches and pains, only to discover several spinal fractures down the line that they have osteoporosis. It always seems to me that FIL's medical complaints are taken far more seriously than MIL's, even though their respective medical histories are pretty much equivalent, ie general good health with nothing that couldn't be fixed if it was acknowledged to exist in the first bloody place.
Grrrrrr.

Asta19 · 10/07/2019 11:54

Yep, I have a myriad of health problems and given up going to the GP! I just deal with it now. They don't like it if you go in and tell them what's wrong with you, but they struggle to diagnose anything themselves. For years I was getting big dark patches on my skin (like vitiligo in reverse). I saw a GP, specialist etc. None of them knew what it was. I did my own research and turns out it was possibly a rare side effect of the anti-depressants I was on, so I asked to change them, and lo and behold my skin is now clearing up. Another time I was getting bad chest pains where I would feel faint, hot etc. They said it was anxiety, again did a lot of research and it was a reflux type problem and turned out all I needed to do was drink some water and the pain would go! Now as soon as I feel it coming on, I drink a glass of water and I'm fine.

I think the issue is there is no time/money to spend on people to find out what's really going on. Anything I've suffered gets put down to depression or anxiety, when actually it's been a medical issue. I suspect that once you have anything like that in your records, it's the easy answer for any future health problems.

CitadelsofScience · 10/07/2019 11:55

We are definitely ignored. I was told for years that my back pain was mechanical until my constant complaining got mean mri scan. That showed it wasn't mechanical at all and was damaged.

I saw on my notes many years ago that I was a tatt complainer. Turns out I had undiagnosed inflammatory diseases.

I have no idea about how to support your daughter but she needs to dig her heels in and not just be a quiet girl because women aren't meant to complain.

JacquesHammer · 10/07/2019 11:57

YANBU

Women are at the bottom of the pile when it comes to accessing treatment.

Sandybval · 10/07/2019 11:57

YANBU. Sorry to hear that your daughter is having a hard time, must be difficult for you. I'm on the mini pill and I dont have periods, could this be an option? It's probably been tried by the sound of it, but just in case.

Greyhound22 · 10/07/2019 12:03

I could cry reading all these.

I have been ignored for heavy bleeding for 20 years.

Got so bad 4 years ago asked for hysterectomy. I was told to wait till menopause (at 34) and given drugs which gave me a PE.

Recently shoved on drugs to stop bleeding - have stopped working so I've been bleeding for a month now. Completely ignored. Spent a week in hospital and sent out anaemic. Rushed back in Saturday and given two emergency blood transfusions.

They have agreed to a hysterectomy but originally gave me a clinic date at the end of September. They couldn't give a fuck about me and I feel like I'm going to die.

All the women I have been in with the last couple of weeks have similar stories. No way would men put up with this shit or be expected to. I've met women with prolapses that have been told 'it's not that bad' etc

Just horrific

DanaBarrett · 10/07/2019 12:05

You’re absolutely right, and the Invisible Women book covers this very comprehensively. Women experience pain and process drugs in a very different way to men, and even when we present at A&E with the same symptoms as men, we are subject to longer waiting times...

Original poster
Twowilldo50 · 10/07/2019 15:16

Oh dear, this is not good is it? I really wish I could help her.

OP posts:
Terrysyogurt · 10/07/2019 15:18

IV been unable to have sex for years as it's too painful. Been told that's just the way it is sometimes.

Original poster
Twowilldo50 · 10/07/2019 15:19

Sandybval she had tried transexamic acid, pill, something else to stop her bleeding, now in depo jabs. They’ve also offered the mirena coil but she is only 20 and hasn’t had children so I’m worried about that for her, although quite frankly I think she should go for it and deal with complications later if it makes things better for her now.

OP posts:
ElizaPancakes · 10/07/2019 15:22

YANBU at all, it’s heartbreaking.

All medications are tested on male bodies as standard - just like crash test dummies are tested on male bodies as standard - just like public toilets are built around male needs....it goes on and on and it genuinely really upsets me.

Ponoka7 · 10/07/2019 15:25

I've been put through two operations including having my tonsils removed, when all i needed was HRT.

It's shocking that a Woman's chance of survival increases, if she has Cancer or a Heart Issue, if she sees a Female Doctor.

MIdgebabe · 10/07/2019 15:26

On the bright side, the medical profession now has evidence that they treat women poorly, for example they analysed the painkillers given after a certain operation and found that although men and women used the same terms to describe the pain, women were prescribed much less powerful painkillers.

We need more women going into medical research and more women going into the bodies that allocated research funding.

vampirethriller · 10/07/2019 15:26

Yanbu
Last year I had pleurisy while pregnant and I was told it was reflux. It took two trips to a and e before they would even listen to my chest.

Ponoka7 · 10/07/2019 15:27

I do wonder if the Transgender situation will skew the figures and make them look better than they are, though.

Lifecraft · 10/07/2019 15:28

Women are at the bottom of the pile when it comes to accessing treatment.

There are national screening programmes for breast and cervical cancer, but nothing for prostate cancer. Which is now the biggest cause of cancer deaths in the UK. So women aren't always at the bottom of the pile.

Original poster
Twowilldo50 · 10/07/2019 17:13

That’s shocking! My poor little girl. Looks as if there’s not much help for her.

OP posts:
DecomposingComposers · 10/07/2019 17:19

Personally I I think the NHS let's patients down, regardless of their sex.

I've heard about men in my family getting equally bad treatment, for life threatening conditions including heart attack, cancer and a torrential GI bleed resulting in losing 4 pints of blood and suffering a heart attack, as women in my family.

SummerSix · 10/07/2019 17:27

Totally agree.

SolemnlySwear2010 · 10/07/2019 17:33

She should ask for a second opinion/another doctor. I suffer from terrible periods and have days during the month where I cannot move due to pain and even the strongest of painkillers were having no effect. Many doctors fobbed me off with different birth control and 'some women just suffer more' until I demanded to be referred to a gynecologist.

Within 1 appointment she said I had probable endometriosis and I have my first scan tomorrow, I then have another appointment next month and she is looking at surgery around December time to confirm diagnosis. She has been amazing and I am so happy that someone is finally taking me seriously - first time in almost 5 years

vincettenoir · 10/07/2019 17:35

YNBU. Your daughter could discuss whether she has endometriosis with her GP. Unfortunately it can only be confirmed by a laparoscopy but then at least they would hopefully come up with some kind of treatment plan.

bigbluebus · 10/07/2019 17:44

I have been to the GP twice in the last 5 years - once was following a major panic attack whilst driving which left me unable to look at my car without the symptoms starting again (after an unblemished 34 years of driving) and the next time was due to aching joints and ligaments which left me struggling to open my fingers in the mornings, and walking like a zombie for the 1st hour of every day - with the pain easing gradually but never disappearing. On NEITHER occasion was any possible link to the menopause mentioned - which as I was 50 on the first visit and 54 on the 2nd visit is pretty surprising! And on both occasions I saw a female GP (2 different ones).