About breakfast at work

[WishingILivedOnAnIsland]

Every day without fail one of our senior administrators comes in on time, gets herself settled, then spends 10 minutes in the kitchen constructing a complicated bowlful of breakfast. She takes the bowl to her desk and slowly eats in the open plan office until around 9:30am. She then signals the start of her work day by returning her bowl to the kitchen. Anyone who approaches her regarding work prior to The Bowl’s Return is met with a withering look and an ‘excuse me I am eating my breakfast’ as though they’ve walked into her own kitchen out of hours and demanded a favour.

I’m her manager and I’m starting to get complaints. Both about her commandeering an additional 30 odd minutes break, and also about the tart rebuke she gives anyone who dares interrupt her morning ritual.

Here’s the thing- I don’t really care that she does this as in every other way she is a sensational employee. She is a proud set-in-her-ways kind of person and wont respond well to negative feedback. It would be a disaster if she quit and we had to replace her with a mediocre employee whose only advantage is that they eat their breakfast at home.

So AIBU to let this breakfast nonsense play on? My colleagues seem to think so and are salty with me for my inaction thus far.

I know you want us to say it's ok, let her have her long breakfasts.
But it's not ok

I'm an administrator, and have been all my working life, so I will start by saying that I would never underestimate the value of a really good one. But I would also have to say that I have never come across an admin role that was so difficult and complicated that it could only be performed by one person in the whole world. I have, however, encountered these "irreplaceable" people who have been in the job forever, and IME they have got to that position by setting up all their own systems and processes and then jealously guarding the information so that nobody else knows where anything is or how anything works. They then use their position to get away with being awkward or unpleasant to work with, because their managers think the whole place would fall apart without them - which it probably would, but it could be avoided with better management.

This employee evidently thinks she's doing you a favour by even being there, what with her long commute and the fact that she doesn't seem to even need the job. But if you wouldn't be able to cope without her (and what if she got ill or had an accident?) you're setting yourself up for some serious problems, not least with the immediate problem.

And actually, part of being a good admin is being approachable and professional when you're dealing with colleagues. I find it hard to believe that this woman is only prickly and rude for 30 minutes every morning but magically becomes friendly and helpful after she's finished her noms. Be honest, OP, do people have a tendency to creep nervously up to her desk when they need to give her a task? If she was generally popular and happy to help, people would probably have been more tolerant her morning routine and you probably wouldn't have had so many complaints about her.

Because as an ex-teacher, once my working day started I had no phone access, no way could I come in late/leave early/internet shop.. and as for eating breakfast while standing in front of a class full of children and telling them not to disturb me...

Quite. Reading about all these office workers with all this flexibility makes me think what a cushy time they all have. A a nurse I can just imagine arriving in A&E and eating my bowl of cereal and ignoring the red phone until I’d finished. Or saying to a junior, ‘no, I won’t help you put up an IV on that haemorrhaging patient. Can’t you see I’m eating?’ Seems to me that a lot of people make out they have far more important jobs than they do if they can swan in and out with impunity.

I wonder if these are the same people who think teachers are lazy/teaching isn't stressful etc. Because as an ex-teacher, once my working day started I had no phone access, no way could I come in late/leave early/internet shop.. and as for eating breakfast while standing in front of a class full of children and telling them not to disturb me....

Its possible that people can imagine that all work places are not the same!! Presumably all these rules apply during teaching periods and whilst i know a teachers day is not 8.45-3.30, maybe if you were doing marking, lesson prep, reports etc you might (although i could be wrong) have a cup if tea, snack etc....in the same way some offices might allow a relaxed approach that would be completely unacceptable in meetings for example. I work in a very relaxed workplace which is creative. During busy periods we might not take any breaks, if its quiet we might leave early. In the summer i wear shorts and flip flops but i realise thats quite unusual. Why would i think teachers are lazy because their working conditions are different to mine?

I presume the woman is sat in front of a computer and getting on with reading emails or other work related activity or is she sat reading the daily mail and eating breakfast for half an hour ?

Plenty of people don't like being bothered as soon as they get in.

Personally I hate the nit picking and think the productivity is more important. Yes I'd speak to her about her atititude towards people.

I've worked places were management were very strict and reported employees leaving a minute early. Eventually people become resentful and stop going over and above.

My current manager couldn't give a toss if you left early. She knows we work our arses off and leave late most nights. I would bend over backwards for her. It breeds loyalty.

That said, i'm not the manager and I'm glad I don't have to pull people up on this!

Seems to me that a lot of people make out they have far more important jobs than they do if they can swan in and out with impunity.

Jeez, bitter much?

Not all work environments are the same - it's not hard to see that, surely? All jobs have their challenges - some people have flexible jobs, some don't. Some earn more money, some don't. Some can work from home, others get to work outdoors in great weather, some get perks like free clothes or free food, some have great job satisfaction.

Just because some people have the flexibility to eat at their desks or the time to make the odd personal call, that doesn't mean their job is easier or any less worthy than someone who's on the go all day!

I frequently eat my breakfast at work. I cant eat early in the mornings.

I don't stop working however.

That's cf.

Have a word and tell her she can eat at her desk with no problem but she must get on with her work.

If she cant do that she needs to eat at home before work.

Breakfast isn't an issue but her rudeness to colleague is. I'd deal with that :) regardless of time or whether she has the bowl still she needs to be available. If she can't do both then breakfast needs to be done by 9am. That's reasonable

All this about how Breakfast Brenda aka The Special One does more work quicker than everyone else I take with a huge pinch of salt. The OP is so overawed by her that she doesn't have an objective view.

If this employee is always running out of work to do and ends up helping others then that suggests to me that she doesn't have enough work to do and others have too much.

I hold to my belief that The Special One has the OP over a barrel - the OP has admitted she knows that TSO doesn't need to work and has a long commute, TSO doesn't take kindly to negative feedback, OP is terrified that TSO will leave and thinks the place will fall apart if she does and that is why OP tiptoes around her. The Special One knows this is how the OP feels so she has her right where she wants her and all the other colleagues in the office know it too.

Imagine showing a new employee around on their first day Oh sorry, can't introduce you to The Special One until they have completed their breakfast ritual. The end of the ritual is signified by the return of the ceremonial bowl to the kitchen at around 9.30 a.m. Please note it is forbidden to talk to or interact in any way with The Special One until the breakfast ritual has been completed.

It is not the colleagues who have complained who are being childish, the described behaviour in the OP from a supposedly professional adult and the OP's condoning of it is.

Would be interested to know if the op has actually witnessed her rudeness to colleagues, or if it has been relayed to her from a v. reliable source. Never underestimate how petty some office workers can be.
I find it hard to believe that she can switch from being this unpleasant with her colleagues, whilst breakfasting, to being well respected and popular from 9:30 am onwards.

As a PP said, surely people can understand that it depends on what area of work this is- context is everything. Some people work in very informal environments as they're deemed to be the most efficient way of getting the best out of employees. A teacher is working in a comparatively formal environment that has rules, policies and procedures, part of the job is leading by example so breakfast at your desk in a lesson is not going to be possible.

Deuxcaggages, OP posted this at 11.43:

Her pre-breakfast morning grumpiness is just such a part of the furniture to me that I overlooked how it would feel to others, and that's a fault on my part.

OP is aware of the grumpiness and I too doubt that The Special One is as popular and respected amongst her colleagues as OP would have us believe.

As a manager, I'm all in favour of not sweating the small stuff. I would readily overlook people eating cereal at their desks if they did their jobs well and the cereal-eating wasn't causing any issues.

The fact is, though, this is causing issues. The administrator is being rude to other colleagues and is failing to help them at those times, and it's causing resentment. Furthermore, the OP's failure to address the situation is undermining the confidence that her colleagues have in her leadership.

The situation needs to be addressed and the administrator needs to be told that this behaviour cannot continue. A skilful manager should be able to have this conversation without causing major offence. If the administrator is really such an amazing employee, she will care about the impact that she is having on her colleagues and she will reflect accordingly.

The responses here I think reflect the nature of the jobs people do. I work in a large corporate environment and frankly eating your breakfast at the desk or even in the canteen with colleagues is really not a big deal. The issue is how she speaks to people who approach her.

And for what it's worth, I don't think from what you've said you're a bad manager. But you do need to address it if people are complaining about your staff member.

OP I think a lot of advice on this thread may not really be relevant to you as it comes from people who work in “paid from 9-5” clock-watching/shift environments. If you aren’t in that world then it doesn’t matter what time she comes in/leaves as long as she is sufficiently productive, supportive and responsive (which it sounds like she is).

Do not turn into a process-driven micro-manager please!

Do have a quiet word with her about rudeness to others. MerryGoat gave a good version a few pages back. She needs to be more pleasant and responsive to her colleagues - not to “work to rule”.

I don't see anyone advocating 'process driven, micro managing' or 'work to rule', there is a perfectly easy to reach middle ground between that and what the OP's employee is currently doing.

Taking half an hour over breakfast at work and adopting the attitude The Special One is whilst doing it is taking the piss.

1/2 an hour a day is 2.5 hours a week.
That's 130 hours a year.
That's 18.5 (7hr) days a year!
Would you give everyone else this extra time off?
No wonder they are pissed 🤷🏻‍♀️

The complainants, do they never flex their time with breaks? Take extras etc? Or is this woman the only one?

@SmiledWithTheRisingSun

:o I did this about 14 pages back but got it wrong cause I divided by 37.5 instead of 7.5 saying it was 3 days worth!
Its 2.5hour a week x 44 assuming 8 weeks of holiday which = 110 hours. 110÷7.5 = 14.5 days a year. Wtf
Ridiculous.

But again that's aligning productivity with hours spent sitting at a desk- it doesn't mean any works being done.

It’s also assuming that no one else loses time through fag breaks, long lunches, reading the internet, excessive gossip. Which is clearly bullshit.

It's also assuming that this particular employee does none of those things as well as the 30 minute breakfast LaurieMarlow.