To ask what your post GCSE teenagers are doing this summer.

[katedan]

Ds is 16 and finished GCSEs in June, since then he has barely left the house, made little attempt to get a job and has watched TV and played on X box continually. I get they need to rest but both DH and I work fulltime and I feel he is wasting his summer
He does not have friends so does not socialise and turned down a place on the NCS course which I thought would be ideal for him to improve his confidence.

So AIBU to expect him to do something this summer.

YANBU. My DS is exactly the same and likewise declined doing NCS which I think would have done him the world of good. I worry that come September he'll have isolated himself so much that he won't want to go to college. Drives me round the bend so though I don't have any answers, I can sympathise.

Mine is nocturnal

What seems to work best is a week of lounging about then they need to find a p/t job, volunteer or simply do something!

DD doing three weeks of NCS then two weeks of work experience at a veterinary surgery, then were going to meet friends for a week by the sea by which time it’ll be results day. She can have a rest after that til start of sixth form though she will be using that time to also look for a weekend job for the next couple of years. If she hadn’t been doing those things she would have looked for a holiday job. Doing nothing doesn’t work well for her, she gets extremely low and tired and so prefers to be busy.

Hanging around the house eating crisps in his underpants, drinking milk from the carton, playing XBox and wanking if he follows his brother's example

I shall once again leave "to do" lists on the counter and inform him of any ads for work that appear in the windows of local shops, and expect to have another huge row about his lack of productivity.

mine the same.Wouldn't do NCS. He did intend to get a job, but has applied for loads online and hasn't got anywhere and has rejected all our advice as to how to do it he spends all day on phone/TV/x-box, and goes ot the gym.

We are going away for 2 weeks, so that will get him out.

I was bothered at first, and then I thougt well, he has had loads on helpful nput, at some point he has to choose.

I would like him to get a saturday job for next year though, so will give him another push in that direction.

Mine varies;

Works Thursday evenings and Saturdays, been there since last December. I hoped he'd get extra shifts once he finished but he isn't interested and they have closed part of the centre for refurb over the summer so there aren't any extras anyway plus over the actual holidays he won't have any time.

Sees his girlfriend, they've been into town a couple of times, she had trials for sports at 6th form and they both went in then had lunch after. Also just hanging out with her.

Stays in bed and plays computer games, or sits in the sofa doing the same.

Takes the dog out (so he tells me).

Has had a day at the 6th form he is hopefully going to.

Is going to the school yr 7 camp as a yr 11 helper next week.

Some scouts stuff - helps at Beavers weekly, goes to Explorers, has a weekend event this weekend.

Once the summer holidays actually start he'll hardly have any time to himself, and won't be working much as will be away for most of it.
2 week long haul holiday with his dad and family once school finished (younger brother still in school).
Then Mon - Fri away from with me and younger brother.
A week home, results on the Thu and day on 6th form on the Fri.
Final week away with his dad and family and then I think 6th form starts a week or so after secondary go back.

I was hoping he'd do NCS, and he probably would have, but it didn't fit in with the already booked 2 week trip.

He also wanted to do some training to enable him to get paid more at work, but the course is next week when he is away, do will probably look to do that in October half term.

Dd is doing NCS. She refused at first but I signed her up anyway The deal was that she had to at least give it a try and I would pick her up (from the other side of the country ) if she hated it. She's really enjoying it, thank goodness!

My dn signed up to do the duke of Edinburgh bronze so is doing the bits for that over the summer and beyond. Apart from that, just hanging out with friends, watching boxsets and cooking.

Are you me? Same here. I don't mind giving him a final summer off though as from September he will be at college and future hols will work. Sad that he cancelled NCS as I thought it would be great.

Dd did first week of ncs. She hated it so didn't continue with the 2nd week. She spends a lot of time in bed 😁 but she worked really hard pre exams so I don't have a problem with this. No chance of her getting a job sadly 😁

Mine is becoming slightly nocturnal and playing a lot more Playstation.

Having said that, he's made himself a CV and has a strong chance of being offered a job in a couple of weeks (small school uniform shop, so lots of extra staff needed soon).

His PE teacher has talked him into playing for the 6th form rugby team, so he's also started doing a bit of rugby/fitness training.

All in all I can't complain really, but it pisses me off when I get home from work and discover he's made himself something to eat and not washed up or wiped the worktops down. We had words about that again yesterday

Wish I could be more relaxed about my DS's lack of productivity (aside from the growing pile of clothes and food wrappers in his room). He will do things with me if I suggest them but I certainly didn't look to my parents to amuse me when I was his age. I've helped him with his CV but he tells me he can't apply for jobs yet as it's against the law (not yet 16)

My son has a part time job unfortunately not enough shifts. He’s 15 every job says he needs to be 16 (he got one full time job showed up for work then they realised he was 15 sent him away - he was gutted).
So he’s been away for a week with his girlfriend, gym, festival, he rows three times a week, rugby pre training, dog walks and out with mates. Some work. Quite a bit with his girlfriend. He doesn't do much Xbox or like sitting around. He doesn’t sleep in much beyond 9am so he’s sometimes grumpy because he really wants to be doing stuff! He’s 16 in three weeks hoping he can work the last month!

Oh, yes...forgot he's doing NCS for a couple of weeks, though I suspect that is only so he can meet girls! Still leaves a LOT of spare time until he starts college in mid-Sept.

Pipandmum I read "he rows three times a week", as he 'argues' three times a week.

I was just going to say, wow! He truly is well organised!

Thank you everyone, reading this I feel a bit better. He did get an interview today for next week so that is at least something. I am working at home so I have sent him off to make dinner for the family!!

My 16 year old has done bugger all - bar feed himself and leave a right mess in the kitchen!

Mine works some days
Meets friends
Watches bad TV
Walks the dog
Does laundry
Housework etc
Texts me a lot saying she’s bored

Not a lot. She has sixth form induction this week. Hoping to get a summer job but nothing seems to be going.

Seeing friends. Picking up her little brother from school maybe twice a week so he doesn’t go to after school club while I’m working. Has done some of her 6th form prep work (the two subjects she’s definitely doing, keeping options open on the third and can do the work after results day). Off to Costa Rica on a trekking thing next week. Then the day after she comes back we are off on our family holiday. She’ll have a week free after that until back to school. She’s not 16 yet and so will prob start looking for work in sept/October once settled back in the 6th form.

I had two extremes.

DS1 spent the summer after his GCSEs sleeping, failing to learn to play the guitar and hanging out with a group of friends who didn't seem to have any aspirations.

DS2 did work experience, went on an orchestra tour, attended an academic summer school and started prep work for his A-level courses.

They've both turned out fine.

Hanging around the house eating crisps in his underpants, drinking milk from the carton, playing XBox and wanking if he follows his brother's example hmm
I shall once again leave "to do" lists on the counter and inform him of any ads for work that appear in the windows of local shops, and expect to have another huge row about his lack of productivity.

I could have written this, made me laugh out loud!

I am reframing the whole situation as otherwise it would drive me mad. My reframe goes something like this:
I am lucky to have two, healthy, reasonably articulate DC who have worked hard for their exams and are enjoying the summer!

It doesn’t always work, but it’s keeping me reasonably sane!

Israel tour for a month in group of 30 of same age who become their family for the month. White water rafting, hikes, sleeping in desert etc. Keeps them busy!

If they are planing to go to university, then look on this summer as practice for tolerating them when they come home for the university summer holidays (which are even longer than the ones after GCSEs). DS1 is working two part-time jobs this summer, and yet still seems to be at home more than not.