To never show a child drunkenness?

[loie]

Debate going on with me and DP.

AIBU to think a child shouldn't see a parent drunk growing up?
I never saw my mum drunk until I was 15! There was never any reason for me to see it and she always made sure I didn't.
I think it's quite scary and horrible for a child (under 12 especially) to see a parent drunk and hammered.
You have nights off, I think you should get drunk in your own time if you want to.
I also don't think children should see parents very often having a drink at night times. I don't think it's a problem on the weekend having a couple of drinks so long as you aren't getting drunk to the point you're behaving differently around them.
I think it's the same as they shouldn't be showed smoking and think it's normal, they shouldn't be showed people getting completely wasted or their parents behaving weird and not understanding the concept of alcohol or why.

DP doesn't understand my reasoning. Grew up with parents who drank heavily, says it never affected him and can't see how it'd affect a child or why it's a big deal.

I'm not looking to see if I'm completely right or he's completely wrong, I'm just looking to see if anyone else thinks I have a point or do I seem to wrap kids up in cotton wool?

I grew up with parents and grandparents who had a regular Friday night happy hour. Friends from around the neighborhood would all come by. There was always lots of food and laughing. It was great. Never saw anyone messy drunk, but everyone was certainly a bit merry. DH and I do the same now. I don't see how this negatively affected me or my children at all.

Obviously if you're a bad drunk or getting passed out smashed all the time it's not good, but social drink or a few to relax at the end of the week? How the hell does that do anything but demonstrate responsible drinking?

Honestly, these threads on MN about alcohol always bring out the most bizarre attitudes.

My Dad was either working shifts, sleeping or in the pub. He never drank at home and my DM doesn't drink at all.

Growing up I sometimes would hear a noise downstairs and wake up to see my Dad stirring Andrews liver salts and telling me he had drunk bad beer.

I've never been much of a drinker and used to make a bottle of wine last 3 days and still have some left over to freeze. I haven't drunk alcohol for about 5 years now.

I don’t want my DC to see me drunk when they’re younger but I don’t mind them seeing what we drink each week as I think we’d demonstrate an attitude to alcohol that I’d be ok with them having.

YA absolutely NBU, OP.

he knows his DM has issues with alcohol and he's worried that I'm going to make it difficult for our first DC together to be around there

So reassure him you want dc to have relationship with his mother. It is a hypothetical rather than either parent getting drunk in front of child. If MIL gets visibly drunk in front of child deal with it at that point by meeting her for breakfast or leaving if she is getting noticeably drunk.

Hmmm I honestly think a very occasional (saw my parents and grandparents drunk maybe twice) drunken episode is fine as long as kids know that's what it is and are otherwise looked after. With several alcoholics in my family who were very discreet about it I believe problems with alcohol are genetic not modelled.

YANBU. I didn’t see my parents drunk until I was an older teen, though they drank every single day. In fact, they started me on watered down wine at age 2. My dad grew up and was educated in France and apparently it’s not unusual there.

I wish they hadn’t. I looove wine and actually have now given up alcohol completely because I think it’s unnecessary calories and makes me tired.

I never had a problem with my children seeing me drinking, or even seeing me drunk (not abusive, pissing in the street drunk, I don’t do that) They are now grown and have healthy relationships with alcohol.