To be a bit cross with my friend for faking her course notes to include me?
flightattendant · 28/07/2007 19:38
This is a recent friend who helped me out during late pregnancy as she is interested in training to be a doula.
She was very kind and I am grateful to her for that - we didn't quite 'click ' as she is a different type of person to me, but still, it was Ok.
Since then she has been in touch a couple of times asking me if she could practise various holistic type things on me and ds. It's for her course, but involves quite a lot of time and I'm feeling like crap at the moment being on my own with a 4yo and a newborn...no sleep, no time, precious little energy to spare...and I don't really like holistic therapies to be completely honest.
I felt under pressure to agree to it last week, but could not face it / hadn't got time to spare, so cancelled. I said maybe another time.
This week she left me a message asking again if she could come round and do it, I emailed her saying I was snowed under and really, really sorry but everything is getting on top of me and I wouldn't mind if she found someone more reliable to step in (hint hint).
She has emailed back saying her case study thing has to be handed in today and can she put my details, name, address, phone number on it, as she is one down, as if she had 'instructed' me today? I was a bit miffed. She said someone might ring me to check, I mean what am I meant to say if they do?
I think this is really a bit sneaky and unfair considering I was pretty clear how rubbish I'm feeling right now, and tried to get it across that I really am not up for it.
She was pretty unreliable when she was helping with the birth prep too, not ringing back, or being quite late for visits.
What should I do? Tempted to pretend I didn't get her email in time (it as sent tonight, so no notice then if i didn't want her to do it)
I just feel annoyed. I think she's being passive aggressive. Might be wrong?
TiredFedUpNanny · 28/07/2007 19:56
Awww, poor you. You sound really run down and I can't blame you for not wanting to have been involved. And it does sound like a sneaky way for her to pass her coursework, but also, I can't help thinking that if you hadn't just hinted and had maybe just told her you really don't like that kind of thing, she may have been able to find someone else and would not need to fake this part of the case study. That's just one side and I am not saying it is right, but if she has to do this as part of her course and you accepted other help, she may just not have realised you don't want any other help in any other form.
I do feel sorry for you, lots, but can also see her pov. YANBU though.
TiredFedUpNanny · 28/07/2007 19:58
Just re-read the end of your post and I think if she is being passive-aggressive then you are definitely NBU, but maybe agree to help her this one (you may not end up getting any calls), and ask her what you will have to say. Then never talk to her again.What a sneak!
flightattendant · 28/07/2007 20:04
Thanks...I know it would have been better to be clear from the off, but the holistic thing was a big part of her approach to childbirth and I went along with it a bit as I didn't know how to say I didn't really like that kind of thing.
It might be just that she is genuine but I have made it as clear as I can, still I can see my fault in the whole thing.
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