To think this is unreasonable

[Mightyfedup]

I am a single parent of 2 children, both at university. One child has a small amount of financial support from father (£5 a week), the other child gets nothing.

DS was due to come home as soon as exams over and get a job for the summer holidays. Instead, has stayed in his university city, moved into his new accommodation and does not have a job.

His university finished 5 weeks ago. Where I live there are many jobs available (city) and he had the option to return to two places he has previously worked at.

I am still having to pay him an amount weekly for his food as he has not got a job and potentially some of his rent over the summer.

I am not happy at all. DS wants freedom to do what he likes but I cannot afford to subsidise his summer.

DS has freedom to do what he likes as long as he can afford to provide for himself.

Otherwise, no, he is not. He can sort out where he can live, work, and provide for himself.

I say that as one who has been in DS's situation.

Cut off all funding. He wants to do it his way then he pays (literally) the consequences. Its called growing up.

Stop paying him. You wouldn't have been paying him anything to live at home with a job, so if he has chosen to live somewhere else, he needs to cover the costs of that as well. You can still make contributions during term time, but not for the holidays.

I would not be paying his summer accommodation when he doesn’t have a job, no bloody way! Even if he gets one, they’ll probably pay a month behind. I had to come home every summer, tough, and get a job.

Stop sending him money!

I am still having to pay him an amount weekly for his food as he has not got a job and potentially some of his rent over the summer.

Eh?

I have two DC at uni. If they don't work they don't have spending money. I contribute to rent etc in line with the calculations but they both work part time in term time and do overtime in holidays.

Just stop paying.

DS wants freedom to do what he likes
And he can.... but at his own expense

I am still having to pay him an amount
Why? You don't HAVE to. Tell him to get his arse home and get a job.

Young adults only behave like this if you let them. The bank of mum needs to close!

I have 3 of them at home during uni holidays. Entitled and lazy. Absolutely hate coming home in the evenings. They don't see their father and have summer holiday jobs...

You posted this almost exactly a year ago

So seems in your interest for him to not come home! As for supporting him - your choice. Support him and he won’t come home. Don’t support him and you’ll probably be posting similar to the above in a couple of weeks

Um you don’t have to, you’re choosing to.

@Amibeingdaft81 and she seems to have forgot about child number 3

If they are at university then they are adults. You do not have to fund his lifestyle.

He has put himself in the position that the small amount I give him weekly is for his food. His rental for next academic year began this month all bills paid.

I have messaged him to say Friday is his last payment so he can choose what he does from there.

Third child is now an independent adult that has and has a good job....

My dd1 has had to move home for the summer, because we can't afford to pay her rent for 3 months. She's not very happy about it, but she has a job and gets to see her boyfriend the same as if she was living in her student accommodation. Apparently it's a "step back" to come home, but all her friends are having to do the same.

£5 per week from their father?! What year does he think it is? 1930?

Yep £5 a week. Unbelievable and he gets away with it. Other child gets nothing (same father). Not sure how he thinks that is fair.