To ask for experience and advice about taking antidepressants

[WrackspurtsAndNargles62442]

Been lurking here for a while but this is the first post of my own so I’m hoping you’ll be kind whilst dishing out your advice . Sorry it’s a long one too…
I’ve been struggling with bad anxiety for about 9 months now – it started shortly after I started my PhD. I’ve tried CBT and counselling but thus far it seems to have made very little difference, in fact it’s now been suggested I may be spiralling more into depression due to my lack of energy, motivation and interest in things etc. I went to the doctors last week and she said it might be time to try a low dose of antidepressants. I was reluctant about this because I tried Sertraline during a previous period of bad mental health (incidentally it was the last time I was in education – doing my masters a few years ago, which I feel might be indicative of a pattern) and I ended up having to come off it as it made me worse (which I know they can do in the first couple of weeks but I really was a mess). Anyway, the doctor said she’d give me a prescription for Citalopram and I could take some time to decide if I wanted to try it or not, and then come back in a few weeks so she could see where I’m at.
The thing is that I want to try everything I can to get better but I feel really anxious about taking them. I’m really scared they’re going to make me worse again and I just don’t know if I can deal with feeling worse than I already am, even if it’s short lived. Also, among many other symptoms, I often get palpitations as part of my anxiety and I regularly convince myself that I have some kind of heart condition. So when I read that people with heart problems shouldn’t take Citalopram of course that freaked me even more because I’m scared I have some kind of undiagnosed condition that the tablets will exacerbate.
I talked to my DP about this and he emphasised how much anti-depressants helped him during a tough period but also said it has to be my decision and the right thing for me. When I discussed it with my parents, DF was furious that I hadn’t just started taking them immediately and told me all this was ‘doing his head in’ because every time I visit I’m obviously miserable, whilst DM said she had enough to worry about with her father being in hospital (of course a worrying time for us all) and I had to take the meds because me being like this is not good for her, DF or my DP – as if I didn’t know that and already feel like an awful burden! I also suggested that maybe a PhD wasn’t the right thing for me to do after all as I was fine when working for a few years, but DF feels I’m not in the right frame of mind to make a decision about that and should wait until the tablets get me back on an even keel. I can see his point on that but wondered if maybe taking a few weeks off to see if my moods lifts might answer that question?
So, I suppose what I wanted advice and opinions on is:

1. Does anyone have any experience with Citalopram and what was it like? I’ve heard it’s one of the milder ones? Did it help?
2. As the idea of taking the tablets is causing me anxiety in itself, is it a good idea to try taking some time off and see what that does first? (Also any suggestions on how to deal with my parents who are now on my case everyday asking if I’ve taken my meds would be great, other than telling them to get lost and mind their own?)

Hi OP. I started on citalopram 20mg in October after experiencing a very low period. Doc increased it to 30mg in March.

I can honestly say I feel so much better. More positive, fewer dark days and intrusive thoughts, sleeping better. It took a couple of weeks to 'bed in' but I'm glad I took the GP's advice.

I have regular reviews and will think / talk about reducing again to see how I feel in the future.

Sorry - forgot to add I was signed off for the first two weeks while I saw how I got on with it.

I have been helped through two difficult periods by low doses of citalopram. I ignored advice and stopped them dead each time as soon as I felt I no longer needed them and had no side-effects.

Your experience may differ but mine was wonderful

As someone who has had depression on and off all my adult life in a cycle that goes, 6 months on tablets, 3 years absolutely fine, followed by a gradual slide back into depression I can tell you that tablets do definitely work. Having said that, there are a vast selection of antidepressants available and it is well worth working with your doctor to find the one which is best for you. If Citalopram doesn't help, try something else. If you want to avoid prescription drugs you might try St John's wort capsules. They really do work for some people although personally they give me colic. Hope you manage to get it sorted. Sending for you, what ever cheers you up

I took citalopram for PND, it was a fairly low dose.
It really helped me. I was very nervous to start with and I think it took me a week from picking them up to pluck up the courage. But I was glad I did. They stopped the merry-go-round in my head and helped me to focus. Then I felt I had the strength to deal with things.
I had some side effects at the beginning but these settled down quite quickly. The doctor told me to take them before bed, the idea being you sleep through any weirdness which should then settle down within 2-3 weeks.
You could try taking some time off, but you could end up back to square one when you get back to your uni stuff.