Hiring cleaner- AIBU

[Solittletimenow]

Short version - I want a cleaner, partner doesn't.

Partner and I have 3 DC, 12 and under. Plus pets. He works anywhere between 35-45 hours a week, I work 40. I'm also starting university in September to improve my chances at getting a better job. The week will be me in uni weekdays, him in work 3 days a week and weekend nights. I work evening shifts 5 days a week. I will not be at work over the weekend. Partner thinks his 2 days off a week and my 2 days off a week should be spent on the housework. My argument is a house of 5 people and several pets generates a LOT of housework, so what happens to family time if our rest days are spent on the house? When do we get to take our children places, or spend time as a couple? Or, if I'm spending the day on family time on my days off, then the evenings cleaning, when do I get time to study? He says he'll pick up more of the slack, and he has been doing a lot since I started work (only been working for a year, stay at home mum before that) but there is a lot to do and I'll just end up feeling guilty for not pulling my weight as much as I should, especially as the house had been down to me for so long.

I think a good compromise is to hire a cleaner one day a week. We can do the bits that take next to no time throughout the week as I usually do, with a cleaner coming in for a few hours one day a week to do the bulk of it. I can afford this, but it does mean cutting a luxury, most likely a night out a month - we each get 2.

Partner thinks this is a complete waste of money and has a weird guilt about paying someone to clean his home when he is an able bodied adult. So my question is am I BU to want a bit of outside help considering how much time I don't have anymore?

It is not a waste of money IMO. We all only have a finite amount of time and the less you can spend it doing chores/housework the better. I would find other ways to cut back to pay for it in your position. You should extremely busy and I would want to spend as little of your spare time cleaning if I was you.

You SOUND extremely busy

YANBU!

bloody hell, there's more to life than cleaning! And I am one of these people whose house is always "visitor ready" (whatever that might mean, but as ready as can be)

I have banned all chore at the weekend in this house (apart from obvious cooking and generally living). I am not wasting my days off on chores.

Good on him to be doing a lot, but it's more important to spend time with your kids than dusting.

If you can afford a cleaner, why on earth wouldn't you.

You are not being unreasonable - if you can afford it and it sounds like you can then do! I was in a similar position - my husband would prefer not to have one but I insisted - I do the legwork - found the cleaner, liaise with cleaner and make sure she’s paid but it’s worth it for me! Also think it helps our marriage overall! And now we have one, I know my husband loves it when she’s been and the house is all sparkly!! Someone said something once which resonated with me which was that the more you earn, the more money you put back into the community eg via hiring people to help in the house - as long as you pay properly then everyone benefits

Only consideration depending on how much you earn is, would it be better to work say one fewer evening shift and spend those hours cleaning? Depends on relative cost of cleaner vs. your earnings vs. how much you like working or cleaning.

Nothing wrong with paying someone else to do it though.