AIBU to think karma doesnt exist and if it does it must mean i did something wrong to deserve such treatment back?

[Chucklecheeks1]

My Exh was made to leave the family home nearly four years ago due to OW. He moved straight in with her introducing her to our children within weeks.

Its now been nearly 4 years of his behaviour escalating because i wont jump to his commands any more.

He just gets worse. People have said from the beginning karma will get him and dont worry the kids will know what he's like as though they think its reassuring.

It really isnt. Knowing that our children will eventually realise what he is like (one has one hasnt) isnt comforting.

And if Karma exists what the hell did we do to deserve such treatment? I personally think its something people say when they have nothing else to say.

My life is amazing now. Own home. New partner. The kids are finally settling (until Exh next big tantrum) but i look at his quality of life conpared to ours and its sad.

I had to stop further study when he left as he wouldnt have the kids in an evening, hes doing day release now to further his career. I cant change careers or study further due to child care.

He wont help with the kids unless its on his EOW schedule. He goes on multiple holidays a year (doesnt take the kids) and pays the CSA minimum maintenance.

We cant afford holidays, im the dredge parent. The homework and doctors doctor's appointment and taxi service parent and sometimes it gets draining. I love them to bits and value that i get to be with them the majority of the time but im tired.

If karma exists its basically saying i did something to deserve this.

AIBU to feel like this?

This isn't about karma. This is about him being a Disney dad and you resenting him for it because you have to do all of the crap parts of parenting while he gets to live his life.

With regards to maintenance, is the amount he gives you something the two of you agreed or what the CSA have instructed him to pay?

You said your life's good now so, yes, he's shit, but I think your title is a slight overreaction.

I personally think its something people say when they have nothing else to say

Of course it is, its like a lot of tje platitudes, times a great healer, oh lucky escape, he's lose, its not that bad really. in death situations stuff like "oh well at least their in a better place, oh but you have fond memories, look and remember the good times aye, etc etc. I sort of hate platitudes, their completely meaningless as in they really are just something to say. Its almost disregarding the emotion that the persons feeling and aren't actually comforting.

I sort of get what you mean by it not being comforting aboug the children realising who he is, as a child who realised how manilpative amd vile my dad and step mum was to my mum, for my mum seeing me realise that easn't actually comforting she couod see how angry and upset realising my father wasn't the man i thought he was man me. But people think you want the children to see it from your point of view

In terms of quality of life, and now i'm going to be guilty of the platitude, if your life is amazing for you stuff him, honestly, yeah he might have been able to further his career but you said your self you've got a lovely house, a lovely partner. Being the dredge parent is hard work, but the grounding you are giving your kids will be stand them well for life (yes i know a platitude) i know i'm much more appricative of my mum who was the dredge parent than i am my manilpative lying self obsessed disney dad.

The idea of karma is really misunderstood. Karma isn't meant to affect you in this way. It's not that if you're a dick one day then you'll stub your toe the next. The idea of karma is referring to your actions in this life affecting your next life. So hopefully he will come back as a slug or something and someone will pour salt on him.

Karmas bullshit! I come from a background where karma is a key part of the religion (I'm now an atheist). If karma existed then those going around doing bad to others are carrying out the actions as 'god' wishes to balance for previous life bad deeds so therefore how can they be in the wrong for doing so? Makes no fucking sense!

There's real karma....if you're a charity worker, you're less likely to get shot in the face than if you were a drug dealer. If you're nice to your elderly neighbours, there's a remote chance they might leave you their house when they die. If you treat them like crap, they won't.

Then there's make believe karma. A supernatural force that rewards good and punished evil, in this life or the next. That's crap.

If karma is real, I can happily mug the old lady coming out of the post office and steal her pension, safe in the knowledge that the horrible old bat had it coming!!

Some real misunderstandings of Karma in this discussion. The short answer is that it's much too complicated to cover in a paragraph or two, and in most Buddhist traditions it's not really something the laity are expected to understand anyway. A more modern interpretation of karma, is that negative acts hurt the actor as much, if not more than, the receiver. Think of Twain's quote on anger as an acid that hurts the jug more than the thing it's poured on sort of idea.

Forget karma OP. You've carved out a good life for yourself under difficult conditions. Take pride and enjoy it.

I read something on here once that said karma is instant. If you cheat on your wife and behave like an arsehole then BAM! Karma, you're a cheat and an arsehole. I thought that was a good way of looking at it

Karma doesnt exist sadly. A lot of these sayings such as -

1. If you are kind to others you will receive kindness back
2. If you give out good it will come back to you

All a joke in my case.

I am sorry OP. I can relate to how you are feeling. Take care xx