To quit my job and claim benefits?

[username71]

I'm a single parent (just us 2 living here) with a 2 year old. Have worked part time (24 hrs) since he was 18 months.
I'm also 15.5 weeks pregnant.
I am currently doing a housekeeping job and I'm just hating every second, I leave drained, I dread work, I'm getting migraines etc, it's just making me quite miserable.

WIBU to just quit and claim benefits? I've worked enough to qualify for maternity pay for the government but that's not until 29 weeks and I don't know if I can cope with that! I've always wanted to work until my due date but with the nature of the job I don't think I could anyway.
The difference in money wouldn't be too much. Maybe £20 or £30 less.
Would I feel awful taking DS out of a nursery he loves though?

And also, would it look bad on me in a custody/child arrangement case?

If you just quit though, won't it affect your benefits? Do you live in a Universal Credit area? It won't look bad if you're going through a custody case no.

If you “just quit” it could affect your eligibility to claim benefit as you have left employment. I’d check out that before making any decisions.

@HennyPennyHorror no, I'm not in UK so it's slightly different.

I'm trying to justify it that it's too heavy a job for when I'm pregnant and I only have a few months left with my 2 year old just us and that I plan on going back 5 days a week as soon as maternity pay stops.
But then I just feel like I'm slacking as a parent to not work until I'm due to be able to keep DS in nursery and just taking the easy option and claiming benefits and sitting at home!

Couldn't your (pressuming )ex partner ,forgive me if I am wrong OP don;t mean to cause any offence but couldnt they help out to keep the little one in their nursery? That might make your decision easier if you had a bit more financial help to keep your son settled in his nursery? Might be worth anyway speaking to a benefit adviser or CAB to see where you stand financially and if you are getting all the help you are entitled to.Hope you get sorted out one way or the other though.

Where is/are the fathers of these children? Was it your intention to be a single mum of 2 or just circumstance? Do they pay maintenance? While you are not in the UK I think people are increasingly fed with working so others can choose to be on benefits. Benefits are a safety net not a lifestyle choice.

Please don’t quit. Has your employer carried out a risk assessment with you since you told them you’re pregnant (assuming you’ve told them)? Your employer should be making adjustments to your role to ensure you stay safe at work!! Do you have a line manager?

@Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe nope. He won't even pay maintenance unfortunately as it stands (but says he'll be happy to if there's a court order!)

If you're not managing with work to the point that you're exhausted and it's affecting your mental health then your options would be to ask your employer for a change of duties/lighter duties or to see your GP about being signed off sick until your maternity leave starts.

Given you’re not in the UK I’m not sure anyone can help you with the benefits of court side of things.

@HennyPennyHorror no, I'm not in UK so it's slightly different

You need to tell us where you are then. What are the benefit rules?

I’m confused by why working part time now is making you so ill you can’t work, but things will be just fine the minute your maternity leave ends and you’ll be able to work full time with two young children? What about childcare?!

Yes I think YWBU. Plenty of people dont like their jobs, but quitting and getting someone else to pay the bills for you isn't the way to solve this. Benefits should be a safety net for those who really need it and cant work, not just because you don't like your job.
You only have to do it for a few months and then you'll be on maternity leave anyway and after that can find a different job.
Maybe you could speak to your employer, can they lighten your load while you're pregnant and have you had s risk assessment done?
You probably shouldn't be working with lots of cleaning chemicals for example.

I’d keep going. It’s 3 months of pain, but if your DC is settled in nursery you might find pulling him out and being at home with him the whole time isn’t an easy option either. Also £20-30 a week is quite a lot to lose if you don’t have much - it was what I spent a week on taking my DC out as toddlers (coffees to meet up with other parents; entry to classes/groups/activities etc). If I hadn’t had the money to go out with my young DC it would have been pretty miserable!

But I would look at what in the employment is causing you the problem. As pp said your employer should make reasonable adjustments. You said you’d worked since 18 months; always in this job? Has it got worse since being pregnant?

@MLMhun, get a grip.

You will most likely not get it as you voluntarily left employment without very good reason. If you live in a UC area, then it will be even harder as it is like getting blood out of stone with them! I know because I currently receive the childcare element to enable me to work and I am forever having problems with it!

This is pointless us giving advice on UC as the OP isn’t in the UK.

WHERE DO YOU LIVE, OP?

It sounds like you know it's not the right thing to do but you are trying to convince yourself and have others tell you that it's ok. You say it's too heavy for you. No offense but women all over the world work much more demanding jobs while pregnant. You also say that you don't want to work because there's only a few months left of just you and your son before the baby is born. I'm pretty sure most of us would love to stop work and spend our time at home with our kids and have someone else pay for everything but it doesn't work like that. I am never going to tell you that it's ok to choose not to work and live off other people's money simply because you don't like working.

being at home 24/7 with a 3 year old won‘t be much easier. plus most toddler groups etc are expensive ....

YABU - You have chosen to have two children, put in a claim with CMS for maintenance, and work as much as you can to get some savings for when this baby arrives.

Benefits are never as easy as they appear to outsiders, they are generally set at the lowest amount possible to scrape by in an emergency. Show your children the importance of work ethics and striving for better.

And to be blunt, things will be tough if part time work in house keeping is equal to benefits when you have two children. That means the income is not much in the first place, children only get more expensive with their needs and wishes. Can you do any online courses through the benefit scheme to help improve your employability in other roles? It might help with mental health and general outlook on life.

As you are not in the UK you need to approach the benefit advisors in your country and go from there. As there could be rules regarding quitting and accessing support.

Yes YABU.
You need to claim maintenance from the father(s)
Without knowing where you are nobody can advise you but, generally, if you quit it affects benefits

Even if she was in a UC area she wouldn't have a problem claiming if she quits as her child is under 3. Once the child is 3 she needs to find a job - at 2 it's work preparation.

Why are you letting the father of your child not pay his share towards caring for his child? Why do so many women allow that to happen?!

As others said, I don't think you can get benefits if you quit. That used to be the case with Jobseekers, anyway.

Speak to the CAB and get proper advice

If physically it’s too much for you them yes, I’d be looking at reduced hours or for your employer to make some adjustments for health and safety reasons before considering quitting