To only feed toddler at set times

[WhenZogateSuperworm]

DS (2.9) is a serial snacker. He grazes all day long and then doesn’t eat much dinner. He is also quite fussy with food.

He is obsessed with snacks, constantly saying he is hungry and needs a snack. It’s the cause of most of his tantrums. He will go to the fridge and help himself to yogurts and fruit then scream when I do let him eat them. If we go out he will cling to me refusing to play or join in just pleading for snacks.

AIBU to start offering food at set times during the day only. I am considering only allowing him to eat at the dinner table rather than his little table in the lounge and to buy a clock with the eating items drawn on.

I am planning on breakfast 7am, snack at 10am, lunch at 12pm, snack at 2:30pm and dinner at 5:30pm. No snacks outside of these times.

I also want to change the type of snack he has so that it’s more savoury and do something like toast, cheese sticks and fruit. At the minute he likes to snack on yogurts, boxes of raisins, biscuits and soreen banana loaves!

Does that sound reasonable? I don’t want to deny him food, but it’s taking over my life and I’m about to have 6 weeks of him at home with me rather than in part time childcare!

Dd doesn’t have snacks unless she’s at nursery. She’s 2.5 and has never had them. This whole snacking malarkey is ridiculous. I know some kids that have something to eat every hour! Stopping the snacking is a sure fire way to help stop the massive childhood obesity issue currently.

Hi op, having read your list of things he snacks on, that is a lot of sugar, I’m not flaming you, but understand why you’d like to work on it.

My dd’s eating habits were slipping quite a lot recently - I’ve started following a really good, qualified, kids nutritionist on Instagram. She’s a bit worthy (I overlook a fair amount of the lifestyle stuff) but her advice is brilliant and free. She’s called ‘Kids Eat in Colour’ and it’s revolutionised my daughters eating. Yesterday she snacked on a whole raw carrot!

Main points include:

• Being positive, not critical about food, bodies etc.
• Putting veg in front of them always
• Never coaxing/bribing
• Use the phrase ‘you don’t have to eat it’
• Always offering balanced meals, snacks and sticking to it
• Also using the phrase ‘that’s not on the menu’ when asked for other things...sounds ridiculous but that’s been really successful
• lowering expectations, allowing treats, making food fun

It’s taken a few months but it’s made an enormous difference. Check out her insta and all the resources she offers online. Stick at it, I’m sure you’ll get there x

I agree that snacking seems to be getting out of hand. I take my charges to a music class that lasts for 40 minutes, and every week there are several two and three year olds who have to have a snack in the middle of the class, which distracts all the other children. I can't understand why they couldn't have their snack before or after the class. They are not going to fade away if they have to wait a maximum of 40 minutes.
These parents always seem to have a cool bag with a selection of snacks to offer, in my experience, if a child knows you've got a bag of tempting snacks, they will plead hunger and whinge till they get one, whereas if you don't have anything to offer they can quite often be distracted and happy to wait
"nanny r, I'm hungry", "ok, well I don't have anything with me but you can have an apple when we get home in half an hour, now let's join in the singing"

@MustardScreams I don’t think snacks are such an issue, small kids burn energy quickly, have a quick metabolism etc. I had snacks as a child and was really skinny.

I think we’re busier than ever before and there’s a reliance on pre-packaged food that isn’t nutritionally great. I’m improved my offerings - proteins, oats, some fruit, veg, complex carbs etc. My dd still eats meals and has a healthy balance, but she gets hungry inbetween.

Sometimes she asks for food because she wants sweet stuff - when she realises it’s not available she’ll have something else if genuinely hungry, or conveniently ‘change her mind’ 🙄. But I don’t think demonising snacks is necessary.

@LauraPalmersBodybag very good point actually. A snack of cheese, veggies, hummus or fruit etc is fine. It’s when kids are being given processed crap because it’s marketed to children as a snack that is the issue.

@mustardscreams I think so...much to my daughters chagrain I’ve taken away all the ‘fun’ snacks in packets! She now gets a vegetable with each snack, I keep them small and it’s stuff like oatcakes, cucumber, 1/4 apple with peanut butter...

And if she refuses then I ignore it, knowing that she’ll have a meal in an 60-90 mins.

Undeniably, it’s a bit of a PITA but her eating is so much better. As is mine!

@LauraPalmersBodybag thanks for the ideas- I will check her out on Instagram.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions. I am well aware that the snacks offered are all sweet and there is no wonder DS is always asking for a snack rather than eating proper food!

I’ve got 6 weeks to crack this over the summer before I then start weaning DD in September!

I remember never being allowed snacks and being starving to the point of nausea vomiting and fainting a lot before lunch / dinner very often !!! And I’m only 37 but childhood was not a snack time for me 🤣

We had breakfast lunch and dinner and a glass of Ribena at bedtime (dm didn’t want to ‘waste’ milk on us as wanted it for her tea and coffee!!)

My little one didn’t snack until she went to nursery which I wasn’t delighted about as she started to want them at home too. However, now she’s 3 I do think she needs snacks as she is on the go all the time so I let her eat when she’s hungry. I can see she visibly slows down when she’s too hungry- she definitely has a bit of a dip if she doesn’t snack. I’m also quite fluid about lunch time so if she’s flagging, I’ll do lunch at 11.30 rather than giving her a snack and having lunch as 12.30.

She’ll have what is available so really it’s my job to have good things and not crap. Typical snacks are yogurt, fruit, carrot sticks, crackers or a slice of ham or chicken. She’ll have the occasional packet of crisps, chocolate or something we’ve baked but it’s not something I want her having every week. There are pressure points though- particularly after activities where other children are having sweets, crisps or something else junky. While my husband was on paternity leave her took her and gave in. I then had tantrums every week for about 6 weeks but she’s stopped asking now. I think sometimes it’s habit.

She is also a fridge raider and I’m in two minds about whether to tackle it or not. Part of me thinks if she’s hungry let her help herself. Fostering independence isn’t a bad thing and she gets a plate and sorts herself out nicely. The other part thinks I should control it more. I genuinely don’t know whether to tackle it or not. If we were on a tighter budget I’d have to.

Another one here who didn’t snack as a child three meals a day just the way it was then. ( late sixties early seventies).
Consequently didn’t do it for mine, maybe I would take a piece of fruit up for school pick up.
Children seem to go to bed early now as well didn’t eat till six half past waited for my DH to get in before eating all together. So bed about half 8.

I think TBH like most things in parenting it doesn't much matter which approach you pick, just pick one and stick with it :) I think I'd do the set mealtimes, no food in between one myself. But the make grazing count, relax on mealtimes approach is also a good one. It just depends which is most likely to fit your lifestyle and be less stressful for you.

Very true BertieBotts
Right now 2.9 year old Ds munches on fish fingers. apple slices & a few other things, but in time, he will love a wide variety of foods, and before you know it wanting to be just like his teen friends.

Possibly he will be eating more than his fair share of 2 minute noodles, burgers and chilli, but eating a more varied diet all the same

Yes. My 10yo, formerly fussy toddler does eat far too many supernoodles, toasties and bowls of cereal. :o At least he can make his own now.

Good idea to introduce those set times I think. I find that lots of children will say they're "hungry" when they aren't - they just fancy something nice to snack on. And then they don't eat much when mealtime rolls around. It's a vicious circle.

Young children need to learn what hunger really feels like, and any snacking should be something small/plain/boring, with the aim of cutting out any snacks by the time they start school.

The difficulty with grazing is that it's too easy to go for easy, lose track of balance and lose appetite for meals. I wasn't organised enough to have a supply of snacks on demand for my DCs, although catering around multiple allergies was enough work.

I'd transition with some more nutritious, less appealing foods and increasing the time in between.

Mine are well past the toddler years now and we have the 3 main meals and a substantial snack/ light tea shortly after school as it's a long stretch from 12pm lunch to dinner and they are busy playing/ doing activities.

It's not a co-incidence that grazing/ snack culture and increasing childhood obesity have occured around the same time. Every child is different, but so many don't need very frequent food.

We have meals at 7.30, 12 and 5-6.
Snacks mid morning are fruit/veg with ritz crackers or bread sticks.
After school snack is something like crumpets/toast/malt loaf.
We sit at the table to eat.
Little ones have milk before bed and big ones sometimes have toast/cereal/banana if they're hungry.

Yanbu. Kids snack because the whole concept has been made to be fun and appealing over the last few decades. Tiny little portions of sugary and carby foods in attractive packaging. It's the same reason children go mad for those little variety packs of cereal.

I think the key is to limit what is snackable- provide apples, bananas and carrot sticks and see if he's as fond of snacking in a few weeks