Am I miserable?

[CalamityJune]

Dh is in a (mild) huff with me. We're trying to arrange to see a friend of his who lives a few hours away. They are a really nice couple with 2 children a similar age to our 2 yo DS, We don't see them very often at all.

It's assumed that we will visit them and stay over, and this is where I am reluctant. I have never much enjoyed staying at other people's houses even before DS. Additonally, DS is not always easy to settle for bed and has only ever slept away from home at his grandparents' which he does every couple of weeks. I feel like I will worry about him not settling at their house and that this will spoil the day.

I have suggested to DH that we go for a nice day all together but that we head home early evening after dinner, as DS will sleep in the car. I am happy to do all the driving.

DH thinks I am being boring and unsociable. He is pointing out that we have booked a self catering UK holiday for later this year where DS is just as unlikely to settle, but I think it's different as it will just be us in the holiday let.

AIBU to stick to my guns or should I go along with it?

It’s only one night. Might be fun...

It’s quite a different vibe visiting during the day and having a family day, to putting the kids to bed and then having a few glasses of wine with old friends.

Can you take your own bedding to make yourself more comfortable, and take all your son’s stuff to make him comfortable? Presumably you’ll go on holiday etc at some point in the future so would be good to get him used to sleeping away? And would be a fun evening

Yeah that's his argument too! Maybe i should bite the bullet. I'm just worried he'll pull his insomniac party piece

I should add that I'm not a particularly anxious person so I don't need bedding and things, i suppose I just find it tiring feeling 'on' for extended periods of time and I find it nice to retreat! I'm not a hermit!

When you say yes difficult to settle, have you tried to settle him anywhere other than at home or his grandparents? I only ask as kids can be fickle things, and my super clingy toddler spent his first night in his own toddler bed at a friend of mines house when he'd spent 2.5 years in bed with me, so they can surprise you! Definitely don't rule out a nice evening with friends just because of that, especially if visiting friends who also have kids

It will be worth the hassle and hopefully fun. I wouldn’t take DC to stay over with friends who don’t have children, but these people know what it’s all about and how it is with toddlers. We’ve done a fair bit of this since my oldest friends don’t live locally - it’s exhausting but a lot of fun.
Go for it, I say.

Maybe I can only say this because I've had two very easy portable children, but I think just do it. Even if he struggles a bit, he might struggle a bit less next time. Otherwise I think you might get 5 years further down the line still saying ds won't sleep anywhere other then his own bed, and we can't go anywhere overnight.

Tell him you’re happy to go and be sociable if he deals with any settling of kids at bedtime?

I think the bedding is meant for you ds to make him feel more at home, now you :-)

Not