To put DD in nursery.

[WishIWasABaller]

I'm a single mum, got pregnant on the pill to my partner of 5 years who then left me while pregnant, I then found out alot of bad things about him, how he was a liar etc. He then messed me around with DD saying he wanted to see her, not making much effort, then making loads and now I haven't heard from him since March. He lives in a different country, his family have no idea about DD either. So that's the end of that anyway.
My mum asked me to move in with her so that I could get on my feet again, save for a new place and so it was easier for her to help. I went back to work when she was 9 months. I have been attending counselling session every week for a few month for PND. my counsellor suggested putting DD in nursery for one day a week at least, so I could get some "me" time. I have no friends here, all I did have don't bother now that I have a child and my only good friend lives an hour and a half away on a train so I don't get to see her much.
I work 3 days a week, 10 hour shifts. My mum watches DD while I'm at work and then I take over when I get home (obviously, but her sleeping habits have gone to pot recebtly, working on it), and I get her sorted in the morning and give her breakfast etc so she's ready for the day and ready to leave if my mum wants to take her out.
I want to meet new people, I take DD to baby groups hoping to meet people but it hasn't happened yet. I want to join a fitness group in hope to improve my mental health, lose weight and meet people but I can't find the time. My mum already looks after DD 3 days while at work. I literally have no one else.
I've never thought about it until it was suggested, and I feel guilty for considering it as I'm already away from DD 3 days pretty much. But I feel like I need to do something to help myself and get out of this negative way, which would benefit me and DD. I don't have anytime away from DD other than when I work. But she's my child and I made the decision to have her so obviously I don't expect to be able to have alot of free time.
But would it BU to put her into nursery even for just half a day once a week and join some sort of fitness class during that time?
I see alot of people saying they would never do such a thing, and they look after their children 24/7 without any breaks, so it makes me feel Even worse for considering it.

I would. I worked 2.5 days and loved my afternoon to myself. If you can afford it do it. You could drop off about 9.30 and pick up around 4.30 - still short day

Do it now and do not feel guilty. Our DD loves nursery and has been almost full time since 6 months old. One day a week is great for her to socialise and you to start to help yourself, go to the gym, have a walk, see your friend, whatever makes you happy.

If you can afford it do it! It sounds like it’ll be good for your wellbeing, and that’s going to be good for your DD too. Just because someone else might not do it (disclaimer, I totally would ) doesn’t mean it’s not right for you. Plus your DD will probably really enjoy it.

Do it- my only concern would be, talk to your mum first. She may end up feeling resentful that shes giving up her free time so you don’t have to pay for childcare but then you go and pay for it anyway so you can do things that aren’t typically considered necessities. Not saying don’t do it, if I could afford it i absolutely would. Just talk to your mam.

I would.

Other people can be Matrys when it comes to stuff like this. Ignore them and do what's best for you and your mental health.

Plus your Dd will benefit from socialising with other children.

Do it. I'm. A sahm and dp. Works very long hours so not much he can do by time he gets in. . I couldn't get everything done as she went through a clingy stage. A supermarket shop was a nightmare for example.
Dp suggested a childminder 1 day a week. So. I could either have time for myself or if I choose to get things done which that's what I do. She absolutely loves it. And I. Didn't realise how much I needed it either.

*matyrs

I would, my daughter loves nursery and has made such great friends, as have i through their mums, so win win :-)
Your daughter will probably get up to more at nursery too than at home (so many toys and arts and crafts!)

If you can afford it then I would do it. I'm a SAHM but my daughter now goes to nursery for two full days a week (up from 2 half days when she was little). It has really helped me with my mental health and allowed me to sort out stuff at home I wouldn't be able to with her around. It also gives me space to do all the life admin that appears - dentist, Doctor, opticians etc.

It was hard at first because I felt terrible for wanting to do it but it was such a good decision.

I agree that I would run it past your mum in terms of not annoying her but there's no other reason you shouldn't do it. When I was still on maternity leave with my son (I am also a lone parent), I started to really struggle when he was 9 months old or so. I had no time to myself and was also processing PTSD and PND. I had some counselling and the counsellor gave me the same suggestion. I hadn't felt I could justify doing it but I started putting my son with a childminder for 2.5 hours a week and that was my "me time". I used it to go for a run, catch up on some life admin, chat to a friend on the phone, read a book etc. Going to work isn't "rest time". You deserve some time to yourself as well and feeling refreshed and reenergised will make you a better parent for the other 165 hours a week!

@Ballygowenwater @MissB83 you're I will definitley discuss it with my mum first, DD is 14 months and can be quite draining so I would understand if she wasn't happy with that. Hopefully she won't mind, or if she does then maybe I could ask if my mum would just keep a listen out for DD if I joined a late fitness class, if there is any. But then that's kind of like she's babysitting again and I'm generally tired in the evenings, alot of time I fall asleep the same time as DD from being so tired. I'll speak to her and see what she says

You're right **

Of your mum does mind could you afford to put her on nursery 3 days? Shell be entitled to her 15 hours soon or 30 if you work?

I did with DS and didn't regret it at all. I was able to relax for those 5 hours by myself once a week and it was good for DS. He was 9 months when he started.