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AIBU?

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Original poster

WIBU to bin all his stuff???

19 replies

ByebyeARON · 08/07/2019 14:50

You NOW exdp has been caught sexting again ( last time was two years ago that I know of)
He has left, he won't talk to me.
He says that I won't hear from him again...
Not sure if you that's a threat or promised.

This happened this morning, he knows I won't tolerate cheating in any form at all.
So would it be WIBU to bin all his stuff?...
he has form for running off leaving me taking care of house then forcing his way back in with a weak sorry.

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 08/07/2019 14:54

Very sorry for you OP, but don't throw away his stuff.
Pack up his stuff certainly- whats the property situation, his name on the lease or mortgage?

Butterflyone1 · 08/07/2019 14:55

Technically you'll be breaking the law. I suggest packing everything up and putting it out of sight. Maybe in the loft or a garage. When things calm down then message asking for him to collect it by a certain date and if he doesn't then it will be given to charity.

Emotions are high right now so don't do anything hasty. Take time to heal and well done you for not putting up with his cr*p.

ElizaPancakes · 08/07/2019 14:57

Why would she be breaking the law? Surely if he’s said that she won’t hear from him again, then tough shit if she takes him at his word?

I’d bag it up, send a text saying he has till X date (maybe a week) to collect, if you don’t have an easily accessible area then give him some time slots. If he hasn’t in that time then you’ll send it all to the tip.

My friend’s former boyfriend up and left her one day - literally hasn’t spoken to her since. Moved out with just a suitcase of stuff; she hung onto his stuff for about six months then sold what she could and binned the rest. Not suggesting you last that long. I wouldn’t.

Nesssie · 08/07/2019 15:02

he knows I won't tolerate cheating in any form at all. Well you obviously took him back after the last lot of sexting 2 years ago so I'm sure he'll return, expecting you to take him back soon enough.

Box up his stuff, message him a date he has to collect it by.

twoshedsjackson · 08/07/2019 15:15

Is there somewhere else his packed up things could be kept, where he can collect at his convenience? Mutual friend? If not, the dampest, grubbiest spot in your home seems favourite......
Can you get a message to him, offering to put the stuff into a storage facility? Obviously this costs, so you would need to ask first.
I agree with PP's who suggest setting a date; be seen to be reasonable, however unreasonable you might be feeling!
You might relieve your feelings by labelling the boxes when they are all packed up, describing him in less than complimentary terms for him to read when he collects....

Sandybval · 08/07/2019 15:18

You would be unreasonable, but say to him pick your stuff up at x time, or from x place if you don't want to see him. Do it over text or email, I know it sounds over the top but my friend was in a similar situation and he said verbally be didn't want any of it back; when she dumped it of course he said he hadn't said that.

Original poster
ByebyeARON · 08/07/2019 15:26

@Nesssie actually I didn't it was at the beginning before we got together properly and I told him it wasn't to happen again.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 08/07/2019 15:28

Pack it up, tell him it'll be outside the door at X date and time and to post his keys through the letterbox.

Then change the locks anyway.

Don't chuck his stuff without a chance to collect it first.

Original poster
ByebyeARON · 08/07/2019 15:28

House is under my name, his parents are 2 hours away and he doesn't drive.
I'll have to put it in the shed.
I have a small two bed. So it's not easy to hide his stuff.
He hasn't answered his phone and it's off which means he'll disappear for a week.

OP posts:
Original poster
ByebyeARON · 08/07/2019 15:31

I'll give him a sent time and date and it doesn't I'll post the important stuff to his parents.

OP posts:
Asta19 · 08/07/2019 16:09

If it makes you feel better, bin it! That's what I did when my ex did the dirty on me and yes it did make me feel better! A friend of mine was all "take the high road" etc, saying I should send it to him. I guess I'm a lesser moral being but revenge felt good! Don't regret it at all.

Original poster
ByebyeARON · 08/07/2019 19:16

@Asta19 thanks!
I took the high road so many times, I bin everything I got him and I feel much better now!
I'm a petty bitch Wink

OP posts:
hazell42 · 08/07/2019 20:25

Pack it in bin bags, take it to where he works, leave it next to his car and inform someone there you've left his stuff
Hopefully he will have to answer embarrassing questions and you don't need to let him in your house
win win

Asta19 · 09/07/2019 15:25

@ByebyeARON
Good for you Grin
Taking the high road is overrated!

gumbalina01 · 09/07/2019 19:30

Taking the high road is so not over rated, it is the ultimate fuck you and drives them insane, give him his shit back and act like you don't have a care in the world and you are genuinely happy to see him go. Get your keys back and change the locks. If you have to have a good cry in a heap ( been there) and look forward to meeting the next person who won't treat u like this as it is another lesson learned and taking you to your ideal fella. Good luck and well done, stay strong xxxxx

DotOnTheHorizon · 10/07/2019 15:51

Up pkmyh

TwistyTop · 10/07/2019 15:57

Just text him a day and time he can collect his stuff. Who cares if he's switched his phone off? That's his own problem. He's being pathetic. If he turns it on a week later and sees a text from you informing him that his stuff will be going to the skip on a date that's been and gone then that's tough shit.

You can do better. And just think of what you can do with all that space once his shit has been removed Smile

Meowington · 10/07/2019 16:15

You could ask yourself then when you’re in court as none of his things belong to you!

SavingSpaces2019 · 10/07/2019 18:03

If he doesn't collect it by the deadline then you can go ahead and bin the stuff.
He's not going to take you to court and if he did no court would side with him given that HE chose not to pick up his stuff.

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