Ex demanding I pay half of mediation

[username78990]

Have had problems after relationship breakdown with ex for months. He's been aggressive and emotionally abusive and it's been a nightmare.

We had an incident where he was aggressive and we had the police involved recently (in front of DS) and I ceased contact.

Now, I've been to a lawyer in the past month anyway and have been going back and forth drawing up a contact agreement to send out but she's been on holiday for a few weeks.
I told him it needs to go through lawyers now as it's gone too far to try and civilly arrange anything between ourselves and communicate as I feel unsafe around him and DS is being exposed to his aggression.

I'm still waiting for that letter to be sent, I'll need to speak to her again now there's obviously new circumstances.

He has been messaging one after the other for a couple of days, telling me I'm 'keeping his son' from him etc etc etc. I reiterated no he can't pick DS up from nursery today, we need a formal arrangement in place now after a second bout of police involvement, and have received multiple texts about how he's calling a lawyer at 9am and getting an appointment for mediation as that's the way I wanted it to be and he hopes I'm happy to take a day off work for it in the next 2 days and that I'll be paying half the charges as it's me who wanted us to go this route.

I don't even want mediation, I don't want communication with him, he's actually got a PIN (harassment) notice against him as of last week. I want a contact arrangement sent out and then he can go to a lawyer if he wishes.
I just don't want to receive a letter for mediation insisting I pay half. I live on my own with DS, I pay for everything (he doesn't pay maintenance as he's been a 'full time student', I can barely afford to pay the gas some weeks, never mind for mediation sessions!

Why doesn't he have parental responsibility if he is the father?

As there is a PIN in place, I'm surprised your solicitor hasn't discussed a non-molestation order with you. From the web: "A non-molestation order is aimed at preventing your partner or ex-partner from using or threatening violence against you or your child, or intimidating, harassing or pestering you, in order to ensure the health, safety and well-being of yourself and your children."

Is there someone who can go with you to see the solicitor? Someone to help takes notes, ask questions and to make sure everything is clear.

I got so frustrated with my sol using wanky solicitor talk. I am an educated and resourceful woman and would find myself reading and re-reading things and still couldn't understand what she was trying to say. SO annoying. I don't expect lay people to understand some of the specific language used in my line of work (genetics). Anyway, I'm going off on a tangent.

@ZillaPilla he doesn't have PR because I didn't put him on the birth certificate so he didn't have parental responsibility.

Ignore him.

Do not go to mediation with an abusive ex.

Call women’s aid for advice.