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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is friend being unreasonable with money

22 replies

Littleteacup1 · 08/07/2019 08:22

Posting for a friend
Her ex friend had planned a suprise party for her boyfriend at a club and booked a package. Friend paid her £60 a few months ago for the night out. Since then the ex friend has been awful to her bitched about her and told everyone that she dosnt want to be friends anymore. My Friend then asked for her money back on Thursday as she won’t be going got no reply so text again during the week and then a week later. apparently she’s now booked it friend asked for confirmation she booked it 1 week after knowing friend didn’t want to come. My friend said why did you book my share you new I didn’t want to come. She’s claiming no one gets a refund apparently package has cost 500 and if she dosnt go it will mean everyone else will have to pay a bit more each ex friend has said that she’s not stopping her from coming so it’s not a waste of money and no way will she ever get money back

OP posts:

chamenanged · 08/07/2019 08:49

I'd chalk that up to experience. £60 that she could afford to spend isn't worth the hassle.

loobyloo1234 · 08/07/2019 08:53

Your 'friends' sound very childish. If she's not getting it back, what does she want MN's help for?

Basilneedswaterandsun · 08/07/2019 08:54

I’m with the ex friend. Despite what’s happened in between money is money and the £60 has been spent. What if everyone decided to change their mind? It’s unfortunate but I don’t think your friend is entitled to her money back.

BarryBarryTaylor · 08/07/2019 08:57

Yes I don’t think your friend is entitled to money back either. I would also find some new friends who don’t sound like 13yr old school girls

KMoKMo · 08/07/2019 08:59

**Your 'friends' sound very childish. This.
How old are they?
Your friend could ask nicely if there is anyone who could possibly take her place and sell if for a reduced amount to recoup some of the cost.
What does the £60 cover?

Stressedout10 · 08/07/2019 09:03

If I'm reading this correctly your friend (you?) asked for her money back before the trip was booked? If so she should get her money back, if not then sorry but tough its spent

Luckingfovely · 08/07/2019 09:05

Are you all still in school?

HappyNOTdriving · 08/07/2019 09:10

Tell your friend £60 is a cheap cost to learn what a shit friend she had and have a free life without her!

Iv been in similar circumstances, more bloody money though! Yes losing money on principle felt shit but years on and it was worth every penny because it was a clear thing separate from the rest of it that because I loved her I was trying to excuse that showed me explicitly what type of person she was!

When I questioned myself I thought well she can't be the person I thought she was or she would have put our personal issues to the side for a minute and pay me back the money she owes me and give me back the things she borrowed because morally we both know that's the right thing to do.

SoupDragon · 08/07/2019 09:20

Your 'friends' sound very childish

What is the OP's friend doing that is childish? The ex-friend behaved like a nasty bitch and booked the thing after being told the friend didn't want to go (unsurprisingly given the ex-friend's behaviour). The friend does not appear to have done anything wrong at all.

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 08/07/2019 09:24

This shouldn't have happened, because your friend made it quite clear before the event was booked that she wasn't intending to go. So the ex-friend was bang out-of-line taking her money and booking her a place regardless. However, she hasn't got a cat-in-hell's chance of getting the money back now, so she will just have to chalk it up to experience, I think.

WorraLiberty · 08/07/2019 09:28

Since then the ex friend has been awful to her bitched about her and told everyone that she dosnt want to be friends anymore.

People don't just get out of bed one day and randomly do that, so there's obviously more to it than your friend is telling you.

Therefore I'd say your friend should just write the money off. Whatever happened between the pair of them, meant the ex friend obviously couldn't find anyone to replace her.

If she feels that the fall-out was your friend's fault (or at least partially), she probably thinks it's unfair that others should have to pay more.

littlepaddypaws · 08/07/2019 09:45

young teens can be right pitas, you need to chalk it up to experience and cut your loss.
def better off without her in your life.

newmomof1 · 08/07/2019 09:45

Your 'friends' sound about 14...

AlansLeftMoob · 08/07/2019 09:49

Sixty Quid is a fair amount of money to hand over for a party you don't want to go to - your friend will just have to put it down to experience, she agreed to go and paid the money so there's really no refunding that, it wouldn't be fair on everyone else at this point to ask them for more.

DuMondeB · 08/07/2019 09:53

I’d be tempted to go along, help myself to £60 worth of booze and snacks and take it home to eat in bed...

Beautiful3 · 08/07/2019 10:13

I think she should go and get her moneys worth from the trip.

DerelictWreck · 08/07/2019 10:18

Why is anyone spending £60 to go to someone else's birthday party?

loobyloo1234 · 08/07/2019 10:36

What is the OP's friend doing that is childish?

Asking her 'friend' to come onto MN and post for her for starters

littlepaddypaws · 08/07/2019 10:41

it does sound a bit reverse really.

SoupDragon · 08/07/2019 10:48

Since when is getting neutral opinions childish?

LauderSyme · 08/07/2019 11:01

Taking your post at complete face value, the ex friend has been totally unreasonable and effectively stolen your friend's money. But I think she has lost the cash for good and should step away from the whole toxic relationship now.

I had a 'friend' who constantly borrowed small amounts of money because she said she couldn't afford the basics. She ended up owing me over £100. Then out of nowhere she became accusing and abusive about alleged transgressions of mine over the preceding years which she had never even vaguely hinted at before. I asked for my money back but got a ton more abuse so decided to tell her she could keep it as I didn't want to waste any more energy letting the whole sorry situation upset me.

LauderSyme · 08/07/2019 11:03

Or she could do what DuMondeB said!

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