To ask you to help sort my life out?

[Wishfulmakeupping]

Ok so a year ago nearly my ds had an accident at swimming cutting his head open it was my fault.
Since then I’ve been on off antidepressants and diagnosed with ptsd.
I’ve not been open about this but it would be obvious to people I’m struggling as I’ve gained nearly 3 stone in the last year due to comfort eating.
I’m on a waiting list for cbt but there’s a long wait, currently taking my meds.
I’ve been a bit withdrawn but trying to see friends.
Moved to a new area and new job so trying to come across as a happy friendly individual but it’s hard to have light conversation.

Bumping

This sounds hard. I am also on a waiting list for CBT but while waiting I am trying to do whatever I can to be as healthy as I can - gives me a new focus and I am losing weight. Do you do much for yourself?

Do you want to talk about the accident last year?

What happened and how bad was his injury?
I know you can’t help how you feel/reacted but its time to let it go!
Your son is ok now, it was an accident! Even if it was your fault these things happen and kids get hurt all the time. I think you should stop punishing yourself and try and be kinder to yourself

He slipped due to me causing him to fall. He split his forehead open its caused a significant scar on his beautiful face. He is ok in himself but he is too scared to go back to a swimming pool.
I can’t forgive myself or my stupidity I feel sick at what happened and what could have happened.

Try reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle.
Try taking on a small new goal relating to both your diet and exercise/fitness
Try meditation

Good luck. And good for you for tackling the difficulties you are facing

A year is a short amount of time to come on and off antidepressants. Are you sure you don't still need them? Have you talked to your doctor about how you still feel?

Thank you both.
I did need them and stopped taking them but things got worse so back and got more tablets

I will look for that book wine

More info would help.

How old is your son?
how is it your fault?
My kids hurt themself when I was there - whether I could have done something different, and whether I should have done are different issues. Kids have to learn somethings for themself. Sometimes that goes wrong. Without more info it is impossible to help.

cross posted with other but again the question is how old?

He’s 4 in dec. I was pulling his shorts up causing him to slip on the wet floor entirely my fault my own stupidly.

EMDR turned my PTSD around. Ask your GP as it’s NICE recommend.

Be kind to yourself. Every single person makes mistakes.

I’ve looked at Emdr but not asked dr thought I’d need to pay privately so will ask about that thank you

Please read Paul David's ' At last a life'.
I've had CBT and emdr to help my PTSD.
I can honestly say this book was a Godsend.

It was an accident. Horrible and anxiety-provoking but not your fault.
I'm on the waiting list for CBT too and am just trying to set tiny goals to make me feel better until then. It's good to have a light at the end of the tunnel to aim for.

Sorry you are having a hard time 💐

You know accidents do happen, you didn't do anything on purpose... It was an accident. Luckily your dc is OK, with no lasting damage. We all have accidents with our dc, some small some bigger, but nothing we wish or plan for, of course.

I think you a blaming yourself so much, because you are depressed already.

I have had cbt, my therapist talked a lot about automatic thoughts, when depressed they are generally negative. She suggested that every time I was conscious of a negative thought, to forgive myself for thinking it, tell myself it doesn't do me any good, and tell myself I choose to think of something positive.

I won't lie it is hard work, you have no idea how many negative thoughts you have until you work with them. But until you can get cbt perhaps try thinking positive as best you can. (I realized when I was in a bad place that smiling big, changed my mood a tiny bit, I know it sounds weird, but I worked for me).

Best of luck and smiley hugs 😀.