Work should be more sensitive?

[Namechangepleasehelp]

I have been having dodgy symptoms for a few weeks now.
I feel like I'm constantly being stabbed up the arse, all over body itching, can't sleep, I'm doubly incontinent in the sense that if I need to go, unless there is a toilet within a couple of metres of me, I can't hold it on and even then it's just a drip (unless I've already wet myself, which is 90% of the time). My stools are thin. Appetite is just above non existent but I haven't lost weight.

About 4 weeks ago I had to go off sick from work because the pain was too much, symptoms have got worse since then. DP has taken time off work to look after me and DC's.

I have blood in my urine and faeces when wiping.

I have informed my manager, she has told me that as this is my second time off work in 6 months I am on Stage 1 of the absence process.

I don't know what I want.

Actually, I do, I want to go back to work after my scan this Thursday assuming it comes back all clear.

So far, I've been told I have folliculitis, thrush, UTI...all negative.

I just want to go back to work.

I don't know what my AIBU is. Sorry.

I just want to go back to work and pretend this isn't happening.

That sounds awful OP, I'm sorry. Have you been given a doctor's note? If not, get one ASAP and get it back dated if you can. You shouldn't be at work in that condition.

Thank you Lockhart . I've got doctors notes. She's put 'gynae problems' as the reason as I didn't want her to explain indepth what's going on.

My workplace is very gossipy and I am very private xx

If you’re signed off and have letters for the appointments you should be fine, but I think you do need to explain to your manager than whilst investigations are ongoing you will need to take more sick leave.

It needs to be managed with them so everyone knows what to expect
Your symptoms sound AWFUL though, poor you. What a terrible thing to be dealing with!

Sorry OP, perhaps I'm misinterpretating your last post - you have given these notes to work?

If not, please do. It would be a severe breach of confidence for your HR dept (if applicable) / manager to spread the reason for your absence and they should not be doing that under any circumstance.

I'd advise reading up on your office policies on sickness and absence. Stage 1 of the absence process may not be that serious.

You absolutely need not to be at work. I hope you start to feel better. Stop worrying about your manager, as well. You have some paid sick leave, I assume? Take it, and stop going in and out because that is what triggers their absence disciplinaries. Go to your doctor and ask to be signed off.

Your manager is just following the procedure for managing sickness. It’s not personal to you, she’s just doing what she has to do.

Hope you get some answers as to what’s going on after your scan this week.

It sounds awful, OP. I really feel for you with those symptoms.

Please be aware that people saying things like you should be fine "if you're signed off" or suggesting that doctors' notes make things ok, with regard to work, don't know what they're talking about. But it looks like you know that anyway.

You need to have a cystoscopy and colonoscopy asap with them symptoms

Given your symptoms I'd be going to your drs and I'd be asking for an urgent referral. I wouldn't be accepting the dr treating you with a defanaye diagnosis by a consultant.

Without wanting to sound alarmist, please check & keep checking the whites of your eyes for any yellowing. I had choleostasis recently and had a number of your symptoms - in particular the itching which is a symptom of a dodgy liver and/or pancreas.

I’d been doing the usual waiting for scans thing, but when I noticed a yellow tinge in my eyes I went to A&E and was admitted straight away.

Either way, I hope you’re back to normal soon and that your work don’t make things even more stressful.

It doesn't sound to me as though work are being insensitive. It's common practice for workplaces to have policies for multiple periods of sick leave and your manager is presumably following that. She's not saying she doubts your illness nor that you can't have the time off you need. I'm not sure what else you want her to do?

I'm sorry to hear about your illness. Stage 1 isn't serious and your manager is doing what she has to do. Your sickness details should of course be confidential.

Your work is just following procedure they can't pick on choose they should treat everyone the same.

Seconding liver work up here - those symptoms sound very familiar. Don't let the GP fob you off.

Other than the urinary incontinence, those are all symptoms of Coeliac Disease. Have you been tested?

Thank you so much! In regards to my manager, I have kept her up to date each time I have been 'diagnosed'.

I was rushing through my post so I didn't say that my blood tests came back with high levels of AC125 (I think that's right). This means there is potential for Uterine cancer. In only bloody 30.

I love my job.

The sector I am in has a disproportionate level of turnover. I've kept my manager up to date so far but I am not willing to inform her of the latest information.

I cant see how they're being insensitive. They're merely following their absence procedures. They'll have guidelines they have to follow. You're not being treated unfairly

I can remember who said not to worry about stage 1. Thank you.

Is it strange that I am worrying about getting back to work? Each time I get a work email through I panic. I'm in no good state to go back to work, not atleast until my GP prescribes me with antisickness meds and decent pain relief. Neproxen does nothing for me and I've spend over £70 in prescriptions so far that I didn't need.

Apologies for typos. I'm in a state.

@redglitter I realise that. Thinking about my situation more, I realise that the company need to keep their own interests at heart.

Get a prescription prepayment certificate while they are trying everything. It’ll bring the cost right down

@EtonM3ss My GP has recommended both. I'm scared.

@lyralalala that is a good idea, thank you.

@Namechangepleasehelp I'm so sorry you have the additional stress caused by work. I know it's easier said than done but you just need to concentrate on your health.
You have every right to be concerned about your symptoms and I hope your doctor is treating it all seriously.
I had to give up work at the start of the year as I had a chronic health issue which HR were being quite difficult about. I'm now stable and not returning to my old industry but retraining for something lower stress.
I hope you get a diagnosis an treatment sorted soon. Sending hugs 💐💐